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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu about wanting to complain about the hospital

4 replies

Luckytobeamummy · 27/03/2022 20:37

Am I being unreasonable because I want to put in a complaint to my hosp about the care I've had over the years.
In 2013 my 2nd child was born premature @28+4 weeks, but they failed not notice anything in the scans apart from small head, once she was born they did loads of tests to find out why but nothing has come about it, during my pregnancy my waters broke at 26 weeks, I got to hospital and within a few hours they sent me home saying my waters would seal itself. At 28 weeks I had a very bad bleed and got rushed to hospital and had to stay in on bed rest, at 28+4 weeks I knew I was in labour but the nurses kept saying no your not in labour it's just your body practising, take some paracetamol to help with the pain, 10 mins later I pressed the emergency button because it was getting unbearable they said no there's nothing wrong with you, I'll get a doctor to come and check you over,, about 20 mins later the doctor came and said the same as the nurse its my body practising,, before the doctor even left I said no I'm in labour, they argued with me say no I'm not, I said yes I am as the Head is out! I got rushed off and had my prem baby but couldn't see my baby for over 6 hours!.. that's one thing....
Number 2,, I've today just had my 10th miscarriage I've asked previously why I keep having them and I've had no answers, I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage centre (waited nearly a year for a appointment) turned up at the appointment to be told my appointment was cancelled (kept saying they rang me and spoke to me,, which they never) and basically I've never heard from them since.
3rd thing.
When I found out I was pregnant 2 months ago I rang my gp but could only speak to the receptionist, I told the person I wanted to make an appointment to see a gp as I'm so scared about losing another baby and wanted hopefully to be put on some kind of medication, after a 5 minute wait on hold I was told there's nothing the doctor can do and I was to self refer to the hospital, which I did the same day, I finally had a midwifes appointment preferably to go over my past pregnancies and possible medication/s.
The day of the appointment arrived (Tuesday) 3 hours before my appointment it got cancelled because of "covid"... and was rearranged for beginning of April, anything 3 days later I started bleeding only very lightly but I knew what has happening again! The hospital doesn't work on a weekend so I have no other thing but to wait it out till Monday, today I've been in crippling pain and let's just say I'm not pregnant anymore.. (I've been though it too many times so I knew what's what)
This could of been preveneted if someone actually listened to me instead of constantly cancelling on.. aibu or not... what should I do...
I haven't had a good mother's day at all and feel like crap! I'm so lucky to have 4 beautiful kids but I need answers now incase it's something in my genes and my girls might suffer from it....
What do you all think.. complain or not complain and just say I've been unlucky ?
Thanks everyone. .
Sorry for the really long message.. xx

OP posts:
FusciasBright21 · 28/03/2022 08:19

I'm so sorry for you losses Flowers

If you think complaining about your care would help you in some way, then do it. I wouldn't complain about the booking appt getting cancelled, staffing is really poor (lots of staff absence due to Covid) and if there's noone to do the appointment then there's noone to do it.
You di really need to push your GP about the referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic/gynae though. You should have been reappointed.

monicagellerbing · 28/03/2022 08:21

If you have 4 kids I doubt it's something in your genes. Why are you putting yourself through so much pain with recurrent miscarriages when you have 4 kids already

Bagelsandbrie · 28/03/2022 08:35

I think - and I say this as someone with multiple chronic health issues who has complained about medical treatment - that you should complain about some of the things in your post. You might help to stop someone else going through similar things.

But, as kindly as possible, you have 4 children already- why not stop now? It’s putting a lot of strain on your body to keep going through this.

user1471457751 · 28/03/2022 09:27

I think you are going to struggle to get the outcome you want on a complaint about something that happened 8 years ago.

The miscarriage clinic not seeing you and not following up is worthy of a complaint. It's not OK for them to just forgot about you

I am surprised though that you have 4 kids. Why keep putting yourself through this? Would counselling help give you some support?

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