To not understand why people care about men being feminine/wearing feminine clothes?

[quaser14]

This is something that has divided me among family members. I'm usually respectful during discussions but had to distance myself.

One of my cousins is what you would consider a 'feminine' guy. He's came out as bisexual and the families reaction has been quite mixed. Most of my family are not at all accepting but at the same time haven't disowned him. They also have an issue with him wearing feminine clothes like leather boots, skinny jeans etc....I remember in particular walking with my other cousin and seeing a guy in really tight fitting short shorts and saying "It's wrong for a man to do that".

Now, I just think it's a bit stupid and somewhat immature for people to be concerned about what others do when it doesn't affect them. Some will say they're entitled to their opinion but I don't there's nothing wrong with calling out an ignorant opinion.

Am I in the wrong here?

People can wear what they want, and others can think what they want about it. People judge on everything. Why expect them to draw the line at men wearing "feminine" clothes?

Google Mick Jagger at the free concert in Hyde Park. Take off of Greek guardsman's dress. Love the voluminous white shirts which ran through from 17 to 19 C - even when dry! Great with breeches and high boots .....

The New Romantics dressed and made up brilliantly.

Cowboys wear leather boots.

I dont care what men or women wear, I am only bothered by people who think what they wear makes them a man or a woman.

if you see what I mean.

I wear mens socks they fit me better then womens as I have big feet, sometimes I wear mens shoes as they get better trainers then us and they dont have pink accents all over them. oh and I wear mens Tshirts as they get the better designs with anime, movie and pop culture stuff on them where as womens tshirts are all unicorns, rainbows and snoopy for some reason.

I dont care what men or women wear, I am only bothered by people who think what they wear makes them a man or a woman.

100% agree. Wear what you like, more power to you, as long as you don't think that wearing a dress makes you a woman.

It just sounds like your family live quite sheltered small town lives.

A man in a dress is a man in a dress. He should feel comfortable to walk around and use the male loos, prisons, wards, changing rooms. If other men have issues they should be re-educated that clothes are just clothes.

This should not impact women or women's spaces.

@VelvetChairGirl

I dont care what men or women wear, I am only bothered by people who think what they wear makes them a man or a woman.

if you see what I mean.

I wear mens socks they fit me better then womens as I have big feet, sometimes I wear mens shoes as they get better trainers then us and they dont have pink accents all over them. oh and I wear mens Tshirts as they get the better designs with anime, movie and pop culture stuff on them where as womens tshirts are all unicorns, rainbows and snoopy for some reason.

I get boys school socks for dd6 because she can’t tolerate the frilly bits at the top that so many girls ones seem to have. They’re also softer and comfier! She also wears the boys school fleeces handed down from her brother which are much warmer and comfier than the girls school cardis!

Lots of very masculine men wear tight skinny jeans and leather boots too?

Why is it feminine?

If people study history then they'll see the various styles in fashion etc

Exactly. Men wore tights, heels were created by men for men, men wore nightgowns that went to their ankles, men had long hair that they used to tie back with leather or a ribbon. It only shows a lack of education, culture and/or experience outside of one’s own world. Such things are seen in paintings and sculpture at most standard art museums.

If i was you op I'd tell these people to stay away from a Scottish wedding as all the men will be in tartan skirts (kilts)

Your cousin should be able to wear what he feels comfortable in, saying that I absolutely hate drag queens which I though this threat was going to be about

I don’t give a fuck what men wear unless

1. it is an over-sexualised or fetish version of what they think women wear

2. they stay the fuck out of women’s spaces

3. they acknowledge they are still men

4. they don’t insist that everyone pretends that just because they put a frock on they are now a woman and they get to fuck with the pronoun policing

Otherwise, crack on. Just like the 1980’s then.

I think there are sections of society that are disturbed by men attempting to look decorative or aping the ways women traditionally present to look attractive.

I think this is driven, to some extent by a desire to have fairly strong roles in relationships - not necessarily in terms of who does the housework type of thing, but in terms of how you indicate availability and attraction and the language used to “court” someone etc. may be because they want things to be simple and clear and don’t like the idea they may mis step if they don’t understand the language. Sometimes, though not always, it’s wrapped up in a bit of homophobia and/or misogyny about, when it gets down to it, who does the fucking and who gets fucked. Who’s supposed to be reticent and who’s supposed to be pushing for more, etc.

But personally I don’t care. I’ve dated men with long hair and ones who dress flamboyantly (though personally I’m not a fan of skinny jeans or hot pants on men or women!). And I’ve dated men who wear nothing but flannels and jeans, or mainly suits. It all works for me.