I know sometimes people can be a little relaxed about food dates and sometimes that can be completely reasonable. My Mum and dad however, IMO take the biscuit.
Back last year we had a family get together and they served some food that was a year out of date, alongside a new packet. I won’t say what it is as I know my Mum reads Mumsnet but it contained dried eggs. One of my family (under 10) are the year old product, as we discovered later and then had violent D&V that night and for a few days after. My parents kept saying it was a bug and not food poisoning and that it didn’t matter if the food was a year out of date.
This has happened several times since and when I want my children or husband not to eat things, as subtly as I can, she tunes in (I’ve tried doing it out of ear shot but she clocks me noticing the date and then tunes in to what I do next) and has a go at me. She can be fairly emotionally abusive anyway. Narcissist doesn’t cover it.
I have had food poisoning from her several times over the years. I also happen to have worked in food hygiene so am fairly clued up on bacteria etc. She refuses to listen, even when i explain why we can’t eat certain foods out of date. For example, hams, fresh (or not so!) dairy, Christmas Turkey etc she often replies with “I’m not stupid, I know”.
This weekend they tried to serve up 2 week old (past date) Turkey slices, beef and ham. I informed my children not to eat it and to have the other things. They are good at being subtle now (my eldest for a while would inspect food at home and shout out “it’s out of date!”) But on this occasion, Mum didn’t know I’d spotted the dates and removed the packaging and when I came into the kitchen to go through to the garden (I’d already helped prepare other food) she then shooed me out the door, thinking I wouldn’t notice. I’m reading that as her willing fully giving us out of date food and trying to conceal it.
For info, they often eat at mine and she won’t allow me to bring food to hers for us to eat as she says it’s antisocial. I am worried as both my children were preemies and my youngest is under one, I have tried to explain why it’s important but she says I’m being “ridiculous”. For info my cousin has a nut allergy and she has several times brought food with traces of nuts or nuts in it and caused them to have a severe reaction. She is very well educated and can explain to you what an allergy is, so seems to be doing it in the full knowledge of what will happen. I fear she likes the drama of making someone very ill or in some cases nearly killing them, which scares me.
AIBU? Is there another way to get her to realise it’s wrong?