Our new neighbours came round for a drink tonight for the first time. They previously lived in our house 5 years ago.
By the end of the evening it felt like DH had made a serious of jokes as my expense and made it appear that he does not like me much. He thinks that I am making a mountain out of a molehill and that he did nothing wrong , has nothing to apologise for. Please judge for yourselves. All his little jokes are things he often says either between ourselves or to others ….
- I gave the wife and daughter a quick guided tour which they enjoyed to see how the house has changed.
When I returned and suggested that we all moved into the living room as planned, DH suggested that the men stay in the kitchen to avoid death by soft furnishings and talk about golf. They only joined us 2 hours later after a good nudge. This was only supposed to be a quick drink so unless I had pushed the issue I would not have spoken to the make neighbour at all during the visit apart from hello and goodbye.
When I went to put music on , he said I better do that as Olympics has crap taste in music.
Later he joked that I have an awful singing voice ( “ we say “you do the words I do the tune”) . This is one of his favourite jokes and I found myself initially joining in the self depreciation of saying that I take after the time dead father not opera singer mother. I then said actually my singing is fine. I always think he hugely exaggerates this.
He joked that we referred to our wedding as ‘Olympics wedding” as I organised / had most things my way. This was by happy mutual agreement but he did choose key elements like the music and cars .
I can’t remember any other specific examples. At the end of the night, I told DH how I felt and that it reminded me of how my father has treated ny mother who was a bully .
He minimised and has not apologised . We do get on and he does respect me in general terms.
Am I being unreasonable to say that these little jokes are micro aggressions and make us look like a couple who don’t get on to strangers.