disruptive behaviour, family breakdown

[DenRob111]

My ten year old has had awful behaviour for a few years , only at home, not at school, but now our relationship has just turned to nothing. He throws things at me, calls me a witch, pokes things at my my bust in front of friends, swears and sticks his finger up at me, slams doors at me,, steals our phones, my tablet, plays minecraft at midnight, roots through the cupboard to find chocolates/biscuits, went through a phase of using scissors on clothes/furnishings. I won't describe what his room looks like. What can I do next?

Any extra needs?
What discipline methods have you tried?

He was awaiting a CAMHS appointment over lockdown. As he had extremely controlled behaviour in school, no diagnosis was made. we did fill in the referral form for AS but nothing came of this. After a lot of support for me, and not very much outcome for him, my husband suggesed we finish being on the CAMHS list. Now my son doesn't adhere to any boundries in the home. Its laughable to even suggest family time or games evenings or anything nice like this. everything has broken down. Even my husband's faith any of it improving.

Sounds really tough op.
What does your DS enjoy...
Could you join him on Minecraft, or any other interests he had.
Does he ever show you love or affection?
Does he have friends?

I would ask school to complete an early help assessment and say you need some support with routines and boundaries. You might be able to get an early help worker. Even if he isn't presenting with any issues at school they should still complete the paperwork for you

Change the internet password.

What are the consequences for his behaviour at home?

Yes, change the internet password.
Ask the school for help. It sounds awful.

If normal parenting techniques don’t work have a look at PDA.
He sounds very like my son. There are other strategies that work better, have a browse on the PDA society website, read “The Explosive Child”.
Masking at school and letting it all go once home is fairly typical.

Speak to the school SENCO and ask to be referred to an Early Help parent support worker or a family suppport person. If you can afford it can you get a private AS spectrum assessments. Bernardo’s do them.

Home-

Wi-Fi- switch it off and take the router to bed with you. Change the password.
Routines- do you have them and stick to them?

He seems to lack any compassion.
What does this mean?

I think I will speak about the Early Help at school