To think he should have told me?

[TwoDaysOff]

Been a busy week work wise, plus dh has been in another country (still uk) looking after MIL.
He has been away a week and a half. Last night we discussed him coming home today and then he would go back again on Monday as medical people want him there for appointments.
We text sporadically throughout the day usually, then catch up in the evening.
I was expecting he would be home when I got in from work today. All i have had text wise was something he had ordered on Amazon for MIL.
Got home and dd announced that she had spoke to dh and he wasn't coming home today?
I have text "apparently you arent coming home tonight?" And it hasn't even been read, let alone replied to.
AIBU that he should have told me, even if it was by text?
(Context, I said to him last week he should let me know things, as I felt he tended to tell dd stuff before me. I don't mind them talking obviously, and they often do when dd gets in from school, but big stuff I think should be me first)

Assuming there is some back story here?
If he’s busy and assuming dd will tell you and he’ll speak to you later. But this doesn’t sound like a one off

I mean, he is looking after MIL, but she also has three caters a day coming in, so not busy busy iyswim?
No back story as such, it just annoyed me after I told him he should be discussing big stuff first with me, rather than finding out from dd.
Imwpuld have liked him home for a bit this weekend, even though I am working.

Depending on where he is, is it worth him travelling home on Saturday to return on Monday? Given he’s away and you know his situation I’d not consider it “big stuff” for him to tell your DD first if he was speaking to her anyway, that would be a normal topic of conversation.

Probably not tbh, it would cost a lot in diesel. But he was adamant he was missing us, had an argument with MIL about it then other day. I get MIL needs help, but BIL hasn't even gone down and MIL has been in hospital for months. Discharged almost two weeks ago. No kids, whereas we have three dc. I am juggling them and working full time. Actually, I have one day off in a run of 12 days. In that time.i have also done two 12 hour days, and the rest were at least 9 hours. No breaks. Then home to the dc. It's all on me at work and at home. I just wanted one night with dh chilling, and a hug.
But perhaps.i am being selfish. I dont mind him talking toned, at all. I guess I jsut expected to hear from him as well.

He thought you would be annoyed that you weren't coming back, so he relayed it through your dd. You say this type of thing has happened before - sounds like he really doesn't want to discuss anything that might be a bit contentious with you.

Not annoyed. Tired and upset in think. I understand why he is with MIL and he knows that he has my total support. It's just communication issues I think.
It's only really been an issue since he has been away this time tbh. And I know it's because they chat in the afternoons, and I am at work, so stuff comes up.
I dont know, maybe IABU.

@SquirrelFan

He thought you would be annoyed that you weren't coming back, so he relayed it through your dd. You say this type of thing has happened before - sounds like he really doesn't want to discuss anything that might be a bit contentious with you.

I think this has hit the nail on the head.