Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clingy neighbour or just odd???

32 replies

csm93 · 26/03/2022 17:25

We have been in our house for almost 3 months and this behaviour is just getting bizarre now. AIBU or would this annoy you too?!

Neighbour will watch and wait until both of our cars (me and DP) are home. Will then knock on the door and invite themselves in for coffee (literally walk into our house and put the kettle on). If we are out, we get text messages asking where we are and when we will be back. We have started to ignore these messages.

Neighbour has also started getting deliveries sent to our house as the default address. They don't ask prior to check if we are OK with this, we just get DPD, Hermes, Royal Mail etc coming to our door with their parcels. Last week they tried ro deliver a 6 seater table and chairs to our house!!!! We have since started refusing the deliveries. It proper takes the p!$$.
(DP thinks they are doing this as an excuse to come over and/or reason to make contact).

We have a cat. One day, we came home from wherever we had been to find the neighbour in our back garden. When we asked what they were doing, they said "I'm checking on the cat, making sure he's OK whilst you're out". He's a cat FFS, and we were out for a matter of hours.

What's the reason for this bizarre behaviour?! In the beginning I interpreted it as they were desperate for the friendship, but it is really irking me now.

(We are similar age - mid/late 20s)

OP posts:
JasperJohnsPaintbrush · 26/03/2022 17:30

Nip this in the bud NOW.

Chain lock on the door, as well as keeping it locked.
Tell them to sort out deliveries to their own address as you refuse to have them sent to yours. Any of theirs that are delivered to you will be left outside.
Re your garden /cat - Tell them they are trespassing and to leave immediately if they do it again.

It's borderline stalker behavior territory. Stop it now.

ApolloandDaphne · 26/03/2022 17:30

That's very odd behaviour. She thinks you are best mates and you, quite rightly, think you are neighbours who should be on nodding terms. Has she got a partner?

NameChangeCity123 · 26/03/2022 17:32

I cannot tell you how creepy this is..... I'd cut all ties now and put firm boundaries in place. Block their number. Leave the door locked. Secure your garden so they can't access it. Refuse all deliveries. Don't let them in the house. Hopefully they understand how inappropriate their behaviour is these steps will put an end to it.
Perhaps they are just lonely and looking for company but honestly this is next level creepy

Juniper68 · 26/03/2022 17:32

She mad.

Cherrysoup · 26/03/2022 17:33

Clingy. I had similar, she’d knock then storm in without an invitation. I was ecstatic when she moved. Don’t let her in, block the doorway, tell her it isn’t a good time. Re being in the garden, I’d have gone nuts, that’s completely outrageous. She has no right to be on your property. Have strong polite words, get your DH on board with similar responses when the neighbour calls round.

HellToTheNope · 26/03/2022 17:36

FFS, you can't possibly be firm enough with this nutter. Nip this shit right in the bud. Put up cameras and from the point after you tell him to never darken your door again, do not engage with him.

Natfemale · 26/03/2022 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 26/03/2022 17:40

I think I'd have ask them wtf they think they're doing walking into my kitchen and tell them to leave.

Tell them in no uncertain terms youre not their delivery centre and to stay off your property.

Get locks for your gate and a chain for your door.

KaptainKaveman · 26/03/2022 17:45

Total loon. Block his/ her number and inform them you will not tolerate trespassing.

2bazookas · 26/03/2022 17:47

As soon as you hear the front door open, you and DH pull your pants down and act humping.

After wards, you slip a note through her door saying "You ruined my orgasm by barging in like that. In future, don't enter our house unless invited."

StrawberrySanta · 26/03/2022 17:55

I honestly thought there was going to be a punchline and you was describing Jim from Friday night Dinner. This is totally crazy and you need to force them away, be rude if you need to and stop them from just walking into your house. Tell them to not check on the cat again . Be firm

gettingolderandgrumpy · 26/03/2022 17:56

Why did you give her your number ? After 3 months and this is how she behaves . Block her number and do not let her in . She’s obviously incapable of being the normal neighbour saying hello etc she’s borderline psycho and I say something immediately.

EinsteinaGogo · 26/03/2022 17:59

You won't be the first she's been like this with, OP.

Other neighbours may be breathing a sigh of relief that she's picked a new victim.

You are victims - this is extremely unhinged behaviour.

Cut her off and piss her off right now. There's not reasoning with bonkers.

Sunnyday321 · 26/03/2022 18:04

Your garden has pampas grass in it ? look it up 😉

tara66 · 26/03/2022 18:08

Does this neighbour not work? Are they single? Perhaps ask any other neighbours about the situation. You have only been there for 3 months so why do they think they can just walk in and use your kettle and why didn't threated to call police or tell them they are trespassing? No one does that.

Cheesewiz · 26/03/2022 18:09

@Sunnyday321

Your garden has pampas grass in it ? look it up 😉
🤣
Thumpkin · 26/03/2022 18:13

It’s obviously unreasonable but what are you saying to them directly? Refusing to take deliveries is the right thing to do, but when they turn up on your doorstep and try to push in why are you both not stopping this? When they go into your kitchen and put the kettle on, are you saying ‘Please could you not put our kettle on?’instead if just silently watching them brew up? When they are in your garden, are you saying “We don’t want you to go in our garden without asking so please don’t do it again”? They are clearly not behaving normally so you can’t act as if they are: they need telling.

MrsJulianFawcett · 26/03/2022 18:25

Can’t believe 4% think you’re being unreasonable.

Ratatoo · 26/03/2022 18:34

Just say no. Don't let them in

Andgettingcaughtintherain · 26/03/2022 18:39

Is it a man whose name starts with T? If so he definitely wants sexual things and does similar things to his colleagues while telling them how much his neighbours and friends ‘love’ him and his visits…

HollowTalk · 26/03/2022 18:45

That's odd, I assumed it was a woman!

HappyAsLarry2022 · 26/03/2022 18:50

What a weirdo

stuntbubbles · 26/03/2022 18:53

I’m fascinated by the split on this thread that assumes man vs assumes woman when the OP is very clever not to say either!

Anyway, OP: they’re crazy and they will escalate. Check all your locks and get a fancy camera doorbell and such. Booby-trap the back door. Start a log of all trespassing incidents. Keep refusing all parcels - but note each delivery attempt in your log too. Hang garlic round the door.

Mummy1608 · 26/03/2022 18:59

Yanbu at all op, that is insane and stalkerish. I do think in your place I'd feel differently if it's a man or a woman though which is why I think it's relevant and I'm curious which.

If a woman - it's still unacceptably awful, intrusive and must be stopped. I'd have stern words.
If a man - I'd be genuinely terrified for my safety if he came in while I was alone. Tell him to stop and if he doesn't, police.

Mummy1608 · 26/03/2022 19:01

Ps totally agree with a pp who suggested a camera doorbell, we got one a few months ago and it's brilliant, how did I live without it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread