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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not thought at all about buying a dress for DD’s ‘prom’ yet?

62 replies

Melawati · 26/03/2022 08:23

Not exactly a TAAT, but inspired by some of the replies. Should we really have bought a dress for DD’s 6th form leaver’s do (they don’t call it a prom) already?

I’m impossibly old (obviously) but whenever I’ve needed a party/event dress in the past, with the exception of my wedding dress, I’ve just gone to the shops a few weeks before and bought one.

But I’m seeing people saying ‘Easter is too late’. Is this all a lot more complicated than I think it’s going to be?
So
YABU - DD will have to go to the ball in rags
YANBU - there will be plenty of dresses to choose from in the shops in April/May/June

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/03/2022 08:25

Surely it is up to her. Most are online rather than made to measure.

girlmom21 · 26/03/2022 08:26

There are dresses available to purchase all year round...

Ifailed · 26/03/2022 08:26

if she's leaving 6th form, she's either an adult or nearly is one - surely it's up to her whether she wants one and to get one?

Original poster
Melawati · 26/03/2022 08:30

Yes, it’s up to DD to get a dress. The ‘me’ part is the payingGrin. But DD has not thought about this either.
Is it really such a big deal to buy a party dress these days?

OP posts:
Whitefire · 26/03/2022 08:31

I'm having similar with my dd and her year 11 prom. She would happily go in jeans and a t-shirt and has no interest in deciding what to wear. I have 3 months it will be fine, I hope.

At least the next one is ds, this has to be the one area where boys are easier.

fancyfrogs · 26/03/2022 08:34

I think for a year 11 prom, they generally have the dresses earlier as they're more ball-like or fancy in my experience and some get them ordered in from special boutique type places etc. For sixth form I'd think just a normal nice dress from a shop or online. It is probably nice to get it a little in advance though (not months and months but a few weeks at least) just for the excitement and getting any accessories and all that Smile

LIZS · 26/03/2022 08:35

Dds year group had a whatsapp group so there were no duplications or clashes ! Most were likes of boohoo, chichi, monsoon, lipsy, quiz , coast etc

ReflectiveJournal · 26/03/2022 08:35

DD has just started talking about hers. It's a fairly posh do, and parents have to go too. My worst nightmare frankly. She's one of the organisers so we can't just dip out. I have no idea where to start looking for this sort of dress. She has very definite ideas that will make it a major job to find one, and I am short and overweight.

Help!

bestbefore · 26/03/2022 08:35

Depends on the sort of dress she wants / or what the dress code (if there is one) is! My DDs 6th form one was casual so she just got a dress online but the year 11 one the style was more formal and so that required looking (endlessly) in advance - in case it needed adjusting. As it was - in the end - we went to a shop, she tried on a a few and one was perfect and we took it away that day.
Don't forget for some people the dress selection is something they enjoy & take a lot of pleasure from and the build up is a big part of it.

TheHoleNineYards · 26/03/2022 08:35

It sounds like she’s at a sensible school!

I’ve worked in places where pupils have bought prom dresses months ahead, places where everyone rented them (you saw the same dresses every year on different kids) and places where everyone wore stuff from Topshop / Debenhams / ASOS. The latter was definitely better!

Ponoka7 · 26/03/2022 08:35

If she isn't fussy, is a standard size/height and you don't need a bargain, then it's fine to leave it. My youngest wanted a true green dress, so we had to order online, as soon as she decided that she was going. My middle is fussy and my budget wasn't high, so we needed time to look/try.

MrsToothyBitch · 26/03/2022 08:36

I only knew what I was wearing to my leavers ball really early in the school year because I planned to wear a dress I already owned. You should be fine shopping whenever.

NutCheeseBag · 26/03/2022 08:36

Goodness me, I never had a prom and if I had I would have paid for it myself as I did my wedding dress. I only had one daughter, but I certainly never got involved in buying party dresses for her beyond primary school. She probably doesn’t want you involved in it. She’s practically an adult, I’d assume she has her own money, but if not just transfer her some if you want to/can afford it.

gogohm · 26/03/2022 08:38

Too late for really fancy made to measure but quiz have them in store, plus plenty of online stockists

Chely · 26/03/2022 08:39

An off the rack dress will be fine.
Our dd doesn't want a dress for prom. She has one of dh's old shirts and going to buy some smart trousers/shoes to go with it, not in a rush to do so either.

Chely · 26/03/2022 08:40

My mum made my prom dress back in the day.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 26/03/2022 08:40

www.sexyher.co.uk.

Don't be put off by the name. Bought both dds dresses from here. Lovely quality, reasonable prices.

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 26/03/2022 08:43

DD hasn't mentioned hers and if she goes it definitely won't require me to give it a seconds thought. I have no aspirations towards special moments and shopping together for a dress, although if DD wears anything it will not be a dress!

viennesewhirls · 26/03/2022 08:43

My high school proms tended to be shorter dressed in year 11 and long dresses for year 13. Both years there were Facebook groups so we could ensure no two people wore the same dress.

As with anything else, if the wearer is a standard size and easy to fit (and not horribly picky) you probably can just do it a few weeks before. I know I wanted it sorted well before exam stress showed up though!

Garimond · 26/03/2022 08:47

My DD went to a specialist shop in town with her friends and they all bought or hired them together the day before Grin. I did offer to help her on several occasions beforehand and sent her some Zara & H&M suggestions but my help was firmly but politely rejected. I knew she had a few things that she could cobble together in her wardrobe if it had all gone belly up at the last minute though.

whenwillthemadnessend · 26/03/2022 08:47

My dds is in May. Year 11. I started looking at feb half term as my dd is super fussy and I thought we would
Need a lot of time Luckily she settled on one quite painlessly so it's bought. £145 from NEXT online They have loads of franchises. That was one of the more expensive ones too. We went to a prom dress shop but that started at £350! Which I wasn't paying for one night. It's not her wedding. They were very beautiful gowns tho.

Original poster
Melawati · 26/03/2022 08:48

To be clear, DD will be choosing her own dress/outfit and I’m not at all invested in what she wears, going shopping etc. Just haven’t had to buy ‘important’ clothes for years and the other thread made me wonder if we were completely out of the loop on what’s involved.

OP posts:
BobHadBitchTits · 26/03/2022 08:49

I bought my dress on the Tuesday before "prom" on the Friday.

It was 17 years ago, though.

Jesus. It doesn't feel that long ago!

TheTeenageYears · 26/03/2022 08:51

In the town where DD's school is they have a bridal/evening wear shop who will only sell one dress to someone at the same school so there's no duplicates. If you want a dress from somewhere like that then probably the earlier the better for full choice but otherwise just get her to look at the likes of asos/next and order things she likes so she can try them on. It's actually quite hard to go shopping for the day anywhere and find more than a couple of those type of dresses so much better to try online.

Change123today · 26/03/2022 08:53

There did seem a difference between the y11 prom and year 13 prom - year 11 seemed to be much more fancy, dresses much more prom like, limo etc Year 13 dresses more asos/oh Polly. I know my daughter just had a simple black dress for yr13. Less fussy & alot easier (cheaper too!) No limos etc

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