I can relate to this. I was with somebody for years and had my DC. I never loved him at all and I was resigned to never really loving anyone romantically in this incarnation. I also love having my own bed.
However, I identified my 'soulmate' a couple of years ago in the most unexpected circumstances (although we do not talk about it, it is just there. Infact, right now, we are completely out of touch).
Unfortunately, finding 'the one' doesn't mean a massive life reshuffle or even a small one. It is the contentment of knowing. As in my case, it can mean that nothing will change outwardly but once you know, you know and it is nice and worth celebrating.
He is a person of power and influence in society (the opposite of me). We got very clingy very fast and (emotionally, not physically) exhausted it into practical non existence. By rights, our paths should never have crossed. It was awkward. He is my person, that's all.
I have pushed him away for now (my initiative). I don't especially want the hassle of a relationship or even a friendship and I would be happy to have nothing to do with him in terms of my future day to day life. However, we both know that this is/was the biggie. It will certainly not happen again/every few years etc. It is a powerful once-in-a-lifetime force.
I suppose I had been cutting away the superfluous elements of my life for some time now and really bringing out my pure and authentic self in preparation for it. He will be the only man who will have seen it.
That is probably the best advice I could give. Consciously work on yourself, stripping away inherited beliefs that don't serve your higher purpose and bring out the best, most authentic version of yourself who will be receptive to the equivalent in another who has also worked on themselves. Even if they do not manifest, you will be happier for it.