To want to be free

[hereandther]

Bare with me please, do not want to drip feed but my head is a mess.

I've been separated from abusive H for 6 months (after 12 long years), and I'm building myself back up.
We have 3 DC together, so have some form of contact.

The thing is he's still as narcissistic as he always has been, I want to be free to be me but this seems impossible.

Not sure what my question is but I do wonder if I will ever be free.

Putting the children aside, can you explain better how you feel he is still stopping you from being ‘you’.
Is it issues with the kids, contact and time to yourself - possibly hard to fix depending on the age of your children.
Or is it more an issue with the way he makes you feel and the ‘mental’ hold he’s still got over you and the way you think about yourself- this is more within your control, maybe with some therapy or simply time away from him.

@Smartiepants79

Putting the children aside, can you explain better how you feel he is still stopping you from being ‘you’. Is it issues with the kids, contact and time to yourself - possibly hard to fix depending on the age of your children. Or is it more an issue with the way he makes you feel and the ‘mental’ hold he’s still got over you and the way you think about yourself- this is more within your control, maybe with some therapy or simply time away from him.

The way he speaks to me have an impact on me mentally.

When I get dressed in the morning I still think 'am I allowed to wear this.'

I still have to plan my day around him and when he wants to see the DC, if I don't answer the phone when he calls I get a load of abuse.

Sorry, op, but you are allowing him to still control you. He has zero power over you now, expect for the power you give him.