Pregnancy woes

[mumontheblock]

Hi Ladies, I am 11weeks pregnant with DC2 and my job is full on and stressful. I had my Dd in 2018 and she was under weight and I have somehow mentally put that down to my stressful work life (days and weeks where am on constant calls and sitting for long hours) and not taking care of myself so feel guilty I haven’t done the right thing by her.. am getting nervous that it might repeat with my second and feel so not qualified to be mum again.. didn’t help today when my DH said we might as well abort if I don’t prioritise my walks etc.. I don’t sit and take calls intentially for hours it’s just that my work demands it.. I am feeling super low and at a point where I hate myself and feel worthless.. dunno if any of you have had low birth weight babies and can offer any advice?? Sorry for the rant.. I didn’t know where to go 😓

That sounds like an awful thing for your husband to say! Yes it's good to be active but you aren't harming your baby by sitting at a desk for long periods. Healthy babies are born in all manner of far more stressful situations. Look after yourself for your own sake, but your baby will take what it needs from you.

Thanks @Hugasauras.. I really needed some reassurance

Hi I desk work 8-6 each day so I bought some small rubbery weights (think they're 2kg each) and do arm exercises whilst I'm on the phone or in Teams meetings. They sit under the desk no problem as they're so small. I do my pelvic floors sitting in my chair and I now have a birthing ball that I sit on to help my back and pelvis so I bounce/circle my hips on that. Lunch times are just 30 minutes so I'll get up and go for a walk, as fast as I can manage and can usually get in around 2-3000 steps. We did a free pregnancy and postpartum physio class last week which showed how to do abdominal exercises so I stand up from my chair and do those for a few minutes too (basically just pulling in tummy and holding it then repeat).

You can't help being stuck at a desk all day so no one should be making you feel guilty about it! If you want to be a bit more active there are the little desk things you can do and also make the most of any time at weekends, especially with the lighter nights and better weather I'm finding I can get out a bit more even if it's just for an hour's wander around the estates.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxx

Your DH is being an absolute arse. Can he not help with solutions rather than pointing out the problem in the most unkind and horrific way?

Sitting at your desk will not harm your baby. I think the stress is what you need to work on, but for you.

I did pregnancy yoga and it was a godsend. I know you are busy and it's tough but it will help physically and mentally. You will also learn relaxation / meditation techniques that you can also do as you drop off to sleep (multi tasking!).

for you.

I think you need to also have a frank conversation with DP. What he said is inexcusable. You need him in your corner. Not goading you from the sidelines.

What an unkind thing for your DH to say! Did he want another baby?

@Wifflywafflywoo.. thanks I will try and do these.. very useful guidance x .. all the best with your pregnancy

@SummerHouse: I have been thinking about yoga as well, will look up classes for the weekends. Would do me some good for sure. Thanks. I have been very emotional and feeling empty since last evening.. haven’t had a proper conversation with DH yet.. he did try to make me feel better but I think I am not in a great state mentally atm.. 😓

@ElliotGoss well..the second child was very much his decision ( as well as mine, but I wasn’t very sure).. think he was very irritated with me not prioritising my health .. somehow makes me feel am not doing anything right.. but I am sure I will get better in a day or two..

What the hell, what an awful comment to make! For what it's worth, I had a decent sized baby and absolutely didn't prioritise my walks and have a desk job, as if it's your fault! Bonkers.