People asking what assets I got in the divorce, Aibu?

[MrsLabelAndHerPacketOfBiscuits]

I frickin hate this, nosey bastards. Mind your own business. Has anyone else been grilled by friends & family what they kept & what they lost?

Never been divorced - so not quite your target audience - but if I had been I would just smile and nod and say "I'm happy" & change the subject - none of their business as you say.

It’s none of their business. Say you gained your happiness/freedom with no regrets. If they probe further, say enough about me, how is YOUR marriage?

Just say ‘ALL the kitchen knives’ darkly. If they persist, say ‘and the contents of the gun cupboard’. Etc. Just be so silly that they work out that it’s not up for discussion.

Who is asking this? I've never heard anyone ask this ever.

What you got was 'FREEDOM you nosey fucker/s'

Who's asking? Friends and some family

I’m divorced and I’ve never been asked this by anyone. You must have some very rude and nosey friends and family. Tell them to mind their own business!

I've never been asked directly. But I always say 'I got what I deserved' even though at the time I was somewhat disappointed.

Yes, I did put the house deposit down, he did abuse me (in many ways) and he's treated me like shit, dragged me (and the kids) to court 3 times leaving us all in therapy. He was greedy in every single demand and the judge saw right through him.

So yes, I did get what I deserved in that it was a fair settlement (helped by an empowering solicitor and a very understanding and experienced-in-dealing-with-bullshit judge), I was empowered and can hold my head up high.

The exact figure is nobody's business at all.

I find it incredible that people have the nerve to ask! The only possible excuse would be if they were divorcing themselves and wanted advice.

So fit did yi get then?

That’s so rude! It’s none of their business. I have never been asked, and I wouldn’t expect to be.

Sad shake of head and sigh and nebulous statement about the courts always favouring the other parents and how the impairment to your career and lifetime earning power wasn't recognised at all. If asked a specific questions then just say you didn't get what you deserved and get upset.

I’d say, “Well, obviously he got first pick of mutual friends …”

Someone once said to me 'your ex husband pays for the house though doesn't he?'

I was infuriated! The house was mine before the marriage and I was astute enough to ringfence it prior to marriage.

Ironically the person who said it is now a relative by my next marriage and we are NC with!

Why don't you reply with "How about you give me a detailed breakdown of your finances first?"

'Well I got the only thing I wanted. The BDSM dungeon. And ALL the implements! Lucky me, don't you think!'

I'm saving that for the first person that asks me (I'm V recently divorced)

I think it depends how close you are.

I mean, I chose to discuss with my sibling and one or two close friends.
Other people who asked I have said something basic. You say as much as you want to.

I always say my ex gave my nothing. It's true too because 50% of the assets were mine anyway and that's what I got. So he didn't give me anything and I always say I didn't get a penny off him. The 50% was mine anyway

Nosey bastards! No more than I deserved...

More than one person asked me the same.

I don't mind if they're getting divorced themselves and want to talk about the percentages that are likely to be awarded but even then I point them to the calculation on wikivorce.

The nosey people? I just tell them that I got my dignity back, and that's the main thing

@ClaudiusTheGod

Just say ‘ALL the kitchen knives’ darkly. If they persist, say ‘and the contents of the gun cupboard’. Etc. Just be so silly that they work out that it’s not up for discussion.

💯

Tell the bastards fuck all

@Ncwinc

I’d say, “Well, obviously he got first pick of mutual friends …”

Perfect!

Cheeky rascals

(I told people that I got the children and my future and I didn't care about the rest.)

Tell them to fuck off

I think I've ask a couple of friends this, because I know they were the homemakers, the bargain hunters, the cleaners and repairers.
I've asked because both of their ex Hs did nothing year after year for Xmas. I asked because they wrote all the thank you letters for the wedding gifts.

I want to hear that you got the toaster, the Xmas decorations, the lovely dinner service and your favourite mugs. I hope you left behind his mother's hideous uncomfortable sofa that got pushed upon you and you've finally bought the velvet one you always wanted.

I'm not interested in your bank balance, If I like you, I want to know was the whole thing fair or generous.

And I wish you well.