AIBU to scream out loud on the train (muffled by my mask of course)

[Glorieta]

Had a stressful day dealing with a family bereavement and now being treated to in train stage show of very loud performance parenting of the gentle variety.

3 yr old screaming and running up the train while mum in a not so quiet but gentle voice repeats "Joshua, its not necessary for you to scream to express yourself, Joshua you can't run up and down the train (Joshua is actually running up and down the train hurtling towards the doors screaming so is expressing himself well)

Just stay here darling, the man (whoever he is) says you have to stay here. Joshua is now standing on a seat as the train boomerangs.

Joshua is clearly a free spirit and taking the complete piss out of mama.

It doesn't help that Joshua is dressed like a mini chav in a pale blue designer jogging suit a la Sam Faiers kids style which always gives me the rage.

Mama has just asked Joshua to pick up his toys but he said no repeatedly. When she threatened to leave them on the train he said OK. He now has his dummy rammed in his gob, threw himself on the ground and quote mama "nearly hurted yourself"

I have 20 mins and 5 stops to go...I would pull the emergency cord but would be late for school pick up.

Help me survive the journey.

I'm sorry for your loss

Can you change carriages? You shouldn't have to, but honestly it's probably the easiest way to save your sanity.

That or play a gruesome crime podcast / explicit music out loud...

Lock him in the loo

Noise cancelling headphones. Invest in a decent pair, I have Bose Quiet Comfort and they transform journeys!

Trains make me so grumpy. The sort of noise that would be completely fine in public, in a cafe, on a bus etc is suddenly infuriating.

Yesterday I was on the quiet carriage for a long journey, and for some reason the quiet carriage makes it worse!! Every noise is more annoying. You expect talking on the other carriages but there were kids on this one, and I personally wouldn’t expect a kid to be quiet for 2+ hours. Fairly empty train as well

I'll always remember a young cherub buggering about on the tube, covered in chocolate and ended up getting chocolate hand prints all over a lady's beautiful cream cashmere-looking coat while his mother cooed ineffectually at him... "Oh Sebastian darling, do calm down" ..... "Do try not to bump people"...."oh now look, you have sticky hands on the nice lady's coat".. .

Sadly I got off at my stop before said lady had the chance to justifiably murder everyone involved....

Struggling to imagine the same person saying 'you don't have to scream to express yourself' also using the word 'hurted'. I think you're getting your stereotypes a bit mixed up there. However had this actually happened, I'd rather hear it all day long than hear a grown woman refer to a small child as dressed like a 'mini chav'.

I was absolutely on your side until the 'mini chav' comment. You were annoyed at the woman's noisy performance parenting. I get that. The child's clothing is irrelevant.

It did actually happen
I'm in West of Scotland and "hurted" is a very common grammatical error.

Anyway..they got off 2 mins ago and I'm almost at my stop.

Thank you to those who distracted me with suggestions...some less controversial than others

The problem with public transport is the public! Agree with a PP that perhaps you are allowing your personal prejudices to dramatise the situation, but whenever I am stuck with irritating behaviour on the train I just move and forget about it.

I'm sorry you had a bad day. But maybe have a little empathy with this women who may also be having a bad day. 3 year olds can be right dicks. What she probably wants to do is give him some chocolate & a phone or tablet so he'll calm the fuck down for 5 mins. But that would be judged too. Earbuds & mini bottles if wine always good on train

On a bus the other day and a parent playing some kind of video to their child at maximum volume. It was obviously some kind of fight scene but the moans and groans were such that without seeing it it honestly sounded like two people having a shag.

You had my total sympathy & agreement until you used the snobby descriptor of the child's clothing.

I'd be massively fucked off by this kid, too and would definitely be Whatsapping my sister to grumpily get myself through the remainder of the journey.

Just stand up and bellow Joshua, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!

Or just breathe through gritted teeth and imagine shoving them both headfirst down the gap.

Always take headphones. Great for sound blocking and being unsociable. I can't travel without mine, lifesavers.

@Notanotherwindow

Just stand up and bellow Joshua, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!

Or just breathe through gritted teeth and imagine shoving them both headfirst down the gap.

I've always wondered what would happen if someone actually did that

@Notanotherwindow

Just stand up and bellow Joshua, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!

Or just breathe through gritted teeth and imagine shoving them both headfirst down the gap.

Tory 🚨

Shouted or stuffed them down the gap?

@Notanotherwindow

Shouted or stuffed them down the gap?

There'd be a post in AIBU where everybody says the parent should dropkick the evil bastard, obviously.

'Mini chav'!?

I would expect the stupid Mother to grab the child and hold him fast on the seat next to her, and get a bit of discipline going, as seemingly this is not how she does things. She needs to buy some reins, if the child is a bit of tearaway,and doesn't do as asked. Trains have to deal with safety stuff,and a running child can be a bit of a liability to others on a train.