To think that the colleague of the bride should cover the cost of the gift?

[showmehownow]

If you were invited to a wedding and the bride was your colleague and friend, who should pay for the gift? Both colleague and boyfriend or should both of you chip in even though he does not know the couple and is there as a plus one .

I would not expect my boyfriend or husband to pay towards a gift for my work colleague, it would be down to me or myself going in with another colleague if they want to buy the bride something.

DH and I usually work it so the 'main' friend or relative pays for the gift, that way it usually evens out. So the colleague should pay and boyfriend doesn't need to chip in.

It would depend whether colleagues had clubbed together to buy a wedding present I think. If you're buying your own gift, it's a bit mean of him not to make a contribution if he's also invited.

If it were my work colleague I wouldn't expect my DP to contribute

I wouldn't make him pay for a gift for someone he doesn't know (nor would I pay for a gift for one of his work colleagues).

I'd say both chip in - he's also receiving their hospitality if he's invited. Unless it's been done differently between the two of you in the past with him paying for gifts for his colleagues in the corresponding opposite situation.

Me and DP have been together for several years and attended multiple weddings on both side.
Present is given by the person who's invited not the plus 1 but general wedding costs like flights, hotel and drinks are split.

Sorry meant to say that's how we do it but dont think theres a hard and fast rule. However if hes not contributing to this one then dont feel obligated to contribute when it's his friend getting married

@Aimee1987

Me and DP have been together for several years and attended multiple weddings on both side. Present is given by the person who's invited not the plus 1 but general wedding costs like flights, hotel and drinks are split.

This is how we do it too

The plus one doesn’t pay for the gift but shares hotel costs etc.

If both people are attending I don't see why both people wouldn't contribute to the gift. I pay towards my SO's friends/family's gifts and he pays towards mine. Never really thought about it.

I definitely wouldn’t expect a plus one to contribute to a gift personally. Transport and accommodation, yes.

Have you been invited as a couple or a work colleague - I.e. are other work colleagues in attendance, and has a plus one invite been extended to them?

Has a gift from work been provided, and this is a 'from a friend' gift separately, or just the gift from work?

I mean, the plus one is still being invited even if not by name. Ultimately the bride only will know by who signs the card/tag, and who exactly paid for it is down to you as couple. Up to you if you want to have it as you pay for your colleagues and I'll pay for mine, or as a 'attended together, contribute to cost together'. Depends I suppose if your invites are fairly equal or not.

Being petty, if you sign the card you've generally contributed to the gift.

We'd buy gifts from us as a couple. The cost would probably come from the joint account.

Gift from the main guest, plus one doesn't need to contribute. They are probably having to fork out for an outfit, travel etc already.

I don’t think there’s a rule and it’s totally OK to negotiate depending on your individual circumstances.

Yeah plus one definitely doesn't contribute to the gift. They're doing you a favour by accompanying you.

The plus one definitely doesn’t need to pay for the present as they don’t really know the Bride by the sound of it.

Even though my DH and I have our own accounts our money is for the both of us so it would end up being both of us that contribute towards the gift. It's not like we don't have access to each others money.

My and DP would go halves anyway, kind of what a partnership is in my eyes.

Now, as we are married, the cost would be ours. We share finances and it would be whoever had the spare money in their account.

Then, (pre living together so just boyfriend/girlfriend) if the bride/groom was my friend I would pay. If they were his, he would pay.

Depends on how long you’re together. If you share finances in some way split, if it’s just a boyfriend you’re taking as a plus one, no he shouldn’t buy the gift.

If he is your plus one I wouldn't expect him to contribute, I also wouldn't be putting his name on the tag/card tbh.

If it were me and my husband then both of us, because all money is in one pot.
If it were a more casual relationship then whoever is the actual friend pays

It doesn’t matter what you agree provided that it’s reciprocated. Take it in turns, split the cost, or main friend pays, it’ll all work out even in the end.

As the boyfriend I wouldn't expect to have to pay towards the gift. Me and DH always give money so it just depends on if either of us have cash on us/ who will be near an ATM as finances are joint it doesn't really matter.