Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my friend something for Mother's Day?

28 replies

katieak · 24/03/2022 13:53

Ok so maybe not AIBU but is it weird if I sent a card to my best friend on Mother's Day? She's a new Mum and has been having a tough time and it would just be to say that she's doing a fab job. She's my age so definitely not a mother figure to me but just to try and perk her up. But I don't want to intrude if it's not appropriate. She has a DP who I presume will get her something on behalf of their baby. I won't if it's a bit odd! TIA

OP posts:
Funkyslippers · 24/03/2022 13:57

I probably wouldn't if her DP might get her a card and present. But you could send her a card (not mother's day) to tell her how well she's doing!

ReeseWitherfork · 24/03/2022 13:58

Only you will know how it'll land with your friend specifically, but I don't think it's generally a bad idea. I'm not very sentimental, but I wouldn't hate receiving a card from a friend. It would land somewhere between "oh she's so sweet" and "oh my goodness I really needed that". I think you need to be confident enough to be open about why you've decided to send it.

Fl0w3ry · 24/03/2022 13:59

I wouldn’t. It sounds very well-meaning of you but I think if she has a DP it might seem a bit strange. I would only be inclined to do that if she was a single mum who was unlikely to receive anything.

wouldthatbeworse · 24/03/2022 14:08

I wouldn’t. Just send her a text on the day to say you think she’s a fab mum. A card’s a bit weird (although coming from a lovely place)

ukborn · 24/03/2022 14:09

No don't be silly. You can show her support in other ways. I'd think you were odd doing that and if I was her spouse I might even be annoyed, like you thought I couldn't do something myself.

thevassal · 24/03/2022 14:11

I would maybe just send her a text instead saying "happy first mothers day!.just to let you know I thinknyoure an amazing mum because x y z, hope you have a great day with (baby)"
Less formal and not overstepping but I'm sure she'll love getting it!

thevassal · 24/03/2022 14:12

Send it with a funny mithers day related meme or something if you want it to be more low-key

MrsGHarrison87 · 24/03/2022 14:12

Just send her a text. It's undermining to her husband for you to do this. It's him that should be the one buying stuff, I think it's going to look a bit odd coming from you.

SpringSummerAutumnSpring · 24/03/2022 14:13

It’s odd.

rubywho12 · 24/03/2022 14:13

Personally I would, I think it's a lovely gesture!

jytdtysrht · 24/03/2022 14:15

I think a text at the most. It may seem a little weird otherwise.

LucieMorningstar · 24/03/2022 14:17

I used to send my then best friend stuff for Mother’s Day. Cards, flowers etc. Her husband was a bit pants whenever it came to her being a gift recipient so she was pleased that she was thought of! I gave her a godmother necklace last year but sadly we are no longer friends (not connected to the necklace!).

NameGoesHere · 24/03/2022 14:18

No, please don’t. But remind the dh!

Barneysma2 · 24/03/2022 14:18

If she has a partner then i wouldnt send one as he may feel like you are stepping on his toes but i think it would be a lovely gesture to send her a card saying how great she is doing being a mum and what a good friend she is?

JemimaTiggywinkle · 24/03/2022 14:22

No, I wouldn’t. A text saying happy first Mother’s Day etc would be nice.
It’s her DH’s job to organise a card/present “from” the baby and from himself.

If she was a single mum that would be different - but it’s essentially saying you don’t trust her DH to do an adequate job so you’ve had to step in.

I feel quite strongly about it because on my DH’s first Father’s Day last year, MIL sent him a gift “from” our baby, which I felt was overstepping the mark and should have been my job.

Original poster
katieak · 24/03/2022 14:30

On so slightly mixed responses but on the whole it seems a no go. Just to be clear, I didn't mean it would be from the baby, doesn't even have to say Mother's Day on it, just more of a little thing to say that I think she's doing a great job. But noted. Perhaps I will wait a little while so it isn't linked to Mother's Day and just send something separately instead. Definitely wouldn't want him to be annoyed about it!

OP posts:
cultkid · 24/03/2022 14:40

There's nothing weird about sending her a card and gift
I think it's lovely

MrsWidgerysLodger · 24/03/2022 14:42

I think it's a lovely idea. You can get specific "To my friend on Mother's Day" cards too.

Rrrob · 24/03/2022 14:48

I think it’s a lovely idea.

Crimeismymiddlename · 24/03/2022 14:59

Don’t, years ago I sent my friend who was pregnant a Mother’s Day card on a whim. She never mentioned it and honestly I think she was being kind as it is a very weird thing to do. We are not friends now, I bet she still thinks of me as a massive weirdo!

Excited101 · 24/03/2022 15:01

I think it’s a lovely idea, go for it.

lmnoh · 24/03/2022 15:01

I don't think this this weird. I think it's lovely 🥰
She's a mum and you want to tell her she's doing a brilliant job .... you can send a text anytime but a card on Sunday would be lovely.
I've just sent a card to my ex partners mum, who is a super grandma to my kids and a lovely friend.
It's the thought that counts so don't think too much into it x

moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 24/03/2022 15:03

I think it's a lovely idea

Whatsmyname100 · 24/03/2022 15:03

I think this is so lovely and thoughtful. She will appreciate it so much.

AllTheWeetabix · 24/03/2022 15:04

I’ve had this done for me and also done it for others and it really does mean so much: I think it’s wonderful idea you sound like a lovely friend x

Swipe left for the next trending thread