To be saddened by this?

[tearingmyhearout242]

A 20 year old relative of mine is in Amsterdam for a holiday alone. She’s put some gorgeous pictures up and appears to be having a lovely time.

All of the comments from other women are “Omg, stay safe!”, “Oh please be careful alone, love!”. Barely any actually talking about the picture or asking about her holiday.

AIBU to find it a bit sad. Obviously women do need to be careful alone but I’m sure my relative knows that. She doesn’t appear to be going out alone or anything. Obviously the main underlying issue here is male behaviour, I’m not denying that. But I think also a lot of women have become so scared that they can’t even fathom doing ANYTHING alone at all, or enjoy anything. Don’t really have an AIBU, just wanted to post.

@Pumperthepumper

That’s the point though. She IS presumably safe. Why does she need reminding?

They wouldn’t say it to a lad.

[quote tearingmyhearout242]@Pumperthepumper

That’s the point though. She IS presumably safe. Why does she need reminding?

They wouldn’t say it to a lad.[/quote]
How do you know they wouldn’t?

@EishetChayil

It's a city where men can pay money to use women's bodies, so with that being the prevailing mood, I would be worried too.

Why is that, might a man mistake the street for a brothel?

You have to remember this is MN where people don’t answer their own front door, prefer people to text to ask if it’s ok to phone them, dread walking out the front in case they bump into a neighbour and might have to say ‘hi’ of course they wouldn’t dare venture into a restaurant on their own go to the theatre/cinema etc…it’s like a parallel universe on here!!

This is quite odd. Are they older relatives?

Most people my age (30s) would not do this

@BiscuitLover3678

Yes it appears to be middle aged women

@EishetChayil

It's a city where men can pay money to use women's bodies, so with that being the prevailing mood, I would be worried too.

Woman can also pay to use woman's bodies (& mens) & men can pay to use other men’s. It isn’t illegal in any city in the UK to pay for sex. It’s soliciting that’s illegal.

Btw your employer (assuming you have a job) also pays to use your body. That’s how work…works.

It just saddens me that so many women will deprive themselves of lovely experiences because they don’t want to do it alone or are scared. I’m not on about those who genuinely don’t want to, but I personally know a few people who are dying to visit places but have just ruled it out because nobody wants to go with them.

And they aren’t particularly unsafe places either. Think a European river cruise etc. And when I suggest they go alone I’m always met with “Oh I couldn’t possibly!”.

You only get one life, it’s a shame.

@EishetChayil

It's a city where men can pay money to use women's bodies, so with that being the prevailing mood, I would be worried too.

News flash! That can happen in any city

@jb7445

Just read the lyrics, brilliant

Perfectly captures the ridiculousness.

Stay safe could be a reference to avoiding Covid, but the others are not very kind at all.

@balalake

There’s also a passive aggressive “I can’t believe you didn’t take me!!!”

Maybe, just maybe, she WANTED to go alone!

@jb7445

I moved to Holland (not Amsterdam but a nearby large city, and went to Amsterdam regularly) when I was 17, alone, knowing nobody and with no accom booked. I wonder what these people would have thought of that . Tbh in the five years I lived there the vast majority of sexual or physical harassment/aggression I experienced was from drunk British/Irish blokes on stag weekends or whatever. I've had worse on any night out in a British city (not that that makes any of it any better!).

I've also travelled alone to India, Mexico, Thailand, Morocco, Egypt, Vietnam etc. with minimal issues... this stuff can happen anywhere so it's a shame that people might be put off travelling alone because of it!

You are amazing!!!!!! I would love (and hate it!) if my DD travels the world solo. But I want this for her.

There are admittedly some places I’d worry about my DD going to, but I know she’d do her research.

I don’t know why this has miffed me so much, I just think if I was the girl I mentioned in the OP I’d be fucked off with loads of “Omg please stay safe!!!” comments.

I’d wonder why they thought I was stupid and incapable, and I do find it misogynistic.