Just need to get this out of my system and get some input. Not even sure where to start this one. I met my husband nearly 9 years ago. We both worked in the same hospital and both for a similar period of time about 30 years. I'm not slighting him for this or anything but just to put everything in context, he moved into my house as he was renting and literally just brought himself to the marriage, which was fine. It has never been easy and I have worked my full-time job as well as a part-time job at night. This was something I did prior to meeting him anyway.
However, last year I returned to full-time study to pursue a job I have wanted to do for a long time but put off. My daughter is in her last 2 years of school and I thought now would be the time. He agreed and we both knew it wouldn't be easy but I have continued to work part-time. With the student finance and work it has been okay for the most part. Recently though he has been complaining more that all I do is study and work, which isn't entirely true and we never go anywhere. If I sit with him and watch TV and then get on with cooking and cleaning up after dinner that's fine. I'm allowed to do whatever I want after he goes to bed around 10 or it seems that way as long as I'm there for him. If football is on he doesn't mind what I do, but when there's nothing else on then he looks for me to be about.
While I was working, in all the time we have been together he has never once taken me anywhere for a weekend and paid unless I organised and paid. He gives little more into the house now than he did when I was working full-time, he still doesn't do anything much around the house. He cooks the odd meal each week and puts bins out when he feels like it not even once a fortnight. He says he is too tired after work and with working 6 day weeks (his job requires him to work the extra at times). He continues to pile his clothes on top the drawers as he says they will get fusty if they are put in drawers. He manages to get his hair cut every month and buy lunches every day in work. This month he had to put petrol in the car twice but seems to forget that I have been doing that all along, even yet. I still manage to buy meat from butcher or shops every week and get shopping but says how much he has had to do this month. Every Christmas and birthday is also a nightmare as he says he doesn't have the money and how it should not be like this at his age. He still expects me to run him to train every morning and collect him from train every night, even if I have just been down about 30 minutes before to collect my daughter, or if I'm only into the house myself, but then turns around and says I'm the most selfish woman he has ever met. I don't consider his feelings and if it weren't for him my daughter wouldn't be fed. Any time there's an argument he always resorts to a personal attack.
Am I just too close to see, am I being completely self-centred? If I go back to work I know I'm going to resent it and possibly him because I haven't really given this course a chance. Also, nothing will change he will still do same things but expect me to go on clearing up after him, making his life easier but he won't sacrifice anything. Am I putting all the pressure on him as he says? I have an exam today and all I can think about is this argument.
Sorry this was so long and thanks,