Was this hypnotherapist a bit of a cow ?

[anexperienceIhad]

A few years ago, when I was TTC, I went to see a hypnotherapist.

I had just turned 33 and had been trying for just under a year and got a bit worried about it.

In a nutshell, the hypnotherapist basically said that I started too late and was too old already and had prioritised the wrong things. Just like so many other women she meets. She on the other hand, had her kids in her early 20s without any issues.

I talked to her about feeling ashamed I wasn't pregnant yet and uncomfortable and bothered when people would ask me about it. I have an example of my brother who kept asking about me being pregnant at the time. She said that I'm only upset with him about it, because I'm jealous as he has kids.

It was a very strange experience that left me feeling full of regret that I hadn't started trying to have children earlier and that I didn't have much of a chance anymore.

I sometimes think about this. It was quite a famous london clinic and a very expensive appointment.. isn't it quite unhelpful to say this to someone ?? For what it's worth, I did get pregnant not long after. Maybe the hypnosis worked. But I really didn't like that woman..

Has anyone else been to see a lady like this in a London fertility clinic ? It doesn't seem quite right...

Wow that's very judgemental. Yes it's harder to conceive as we get older. I know women that had to do it early and IVF later didn't work but you can't tell someone individual fertility state just by age.

Very judgemental. Totally not her place to say such things.

Do you know what her qualifications are? I work in a related field and would never even think something like that… let alone say it! It’s complete rubbish.

More than a cow. Very unprofessional. Very unnecessary, and completely counterproductive.

I am so sorry you had that experience!

Total cow. Doesn't sound like she was properly qualified.

YANBU at all OP, she sounds horrific, and TBH I’d be sceptical of any hypnotherapist offering their services in relation to fertility problems, it’s hardly a willpower issue is it? I’m glad things worked out for you in the end though.

Definitely a cow.

Total cow. Doesn't sound like she was properly qualified.
You don’t need any qualifications to be a hypnotherapist.

Wow that is so unprofessional and rude! I think you should make a complaint, that is not acceptable.

2 things spring to mind - as someone else has said you don't need qualifications to call yourself a hypnotherapist.

Second thing - on the day Madeleine Albright died -

"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help each other" - think she would fall into this category

Good god she sounds like a nutter! This is the problem with private clinics, there is much less regulation and it's much more likely staff are unqualified and not subject to checks. Plus as other posters say, you don't need any qualifications to be a hypnotherapist so no regulation.

The fact that you conceived soon after is much more likely to be due to the fact that you had been trying less than a year and just needed a bit more time. Many people take up to and a little more than a year to conceive and they have no fertility issues.

I feel an ethically run clinic should have told you to save your money and just give it a few more months.

Take no notice. Report the daft cow.

I am wondering where hypnotherapy has a place within fertility treatment?

Hypnotherapy isn't a regulated profession so I don't think professional behaviour can be expected.

As a human being she should have known that what she said was unhelpful and upsetting though.

@DPotter

2 things spring to mind - as someone else has said you don't need qualifications to call yourself a hypnotherapist.

Second thing - on the day Madeleine Albright died -

"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help each other" - think she would fall into this category

Echoing this

Seriously weird. A hypnotherapist is only trained in hypnosis. Unless she had specific qualifications in counselling or psychotherapy she had no right to say any of those things to you. You might just as well as had a random stranger walk up to you in the street and say you’re wearing blue shoes because …whatever whatever.
And like pps I’d wonder why a fertility clinic would have a hypnotherapist unless it’s for the ‘ feel good factor’ and more money.

Of course she was a cow. Its sad how we take these burdens on ourselves. In my mid-twenties I had a massage for back pain and the masseuse said she also did raki and asked if I'd like her to read my energies...I agreed. She said that she sensed my body was calling out for me to have a child. We talked about it and I said I wasn't sure it was the right time / difficulties in my marriage etc etc, she warned me about leaving to late, importance of listening to my body. It really shook me up as my husband was pressuring me about it too and I did want children and felt conflicted. Some random therapists views are not welcome.