Feel like a bad mother when he cries

[LoathlyLady]

I went to pick up my 16 month old from nursery today and he was sat alone crying. It made me feel awful. Im sure I just caught him at a bad moment while the minders happened to be focused on something else, he wasn’t screaming, just sat quietly crying and staring at the door. They said it sometimes happens when his key person leaves for the day (she finishes at 5 and I can’t always get to nursery to pick him up by then), but that it’s nothing to worry about and he’s usually easily distracted. But it made me feel really sad.

He also woke up 20 mins after I put him to bed this evening and cried for a couple of minutes - I didn’t go to him straight away as trying to wean him, and he calmed down and went to sleep on his own after 5 minutes. But again I felt like a terrible person, that I’m doing things that make him sad, or that I’m not a good mother.

He’s generally really happy, I don’t know, maybe I just need more sleep

If this makes you a bad mother then every mother in the world is a bad one.

Babies and toddlers cry because they're learning how to communicate and regulate their emotions. The fact that you're worrying about him crying tells me you're probably a wonderful mother

Give yourself a bit of tlc

He might be teething. Sorry, I know everyone always says this, but it happened to me so many times that I imagined various deep problems and it was just a tooth. Especially the waking up.

Thank you @PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn - that’s really kind

@Doona I think you’re right - his molars have just come through and I can see canines peeking out. He’s also settling in at nursery and picking up lots of hugs, so has a lot on his plate. Should probably stop overthinking a few tears given all that

*bugs

You’re not going to get through motherhood without your child crying. Bless you. You sound really attuned to him and that’s a good thing.

The thing about his key worker leaving at 5 is a bit unfortunate, but it also means he’s attached well to her to be upset by her departure, so that’s actually a good thing too.
As is his ability to self-settle. Be kind to yourself.