Context, married, two very small children (3 and 8 months)
Is it just difficult for everyone?
Or did I marry an asshole?
I spend more of my nights thinking about our incompatibility. I am still very social, despite the kids I still want to recognise me! He always, always has an amazing reason why he doesn't want to socialise.
Again for context, on his side...I'm not the best 'drunk'..I find it very hard to stop myself so would rather have nothing than one or two drinks which is his now choice.
When I say I'm not a good drunk I would like to take full responsibility for the fact that I used to scream and shout and be a bit vulgar. Since having my kids I have been better, I still can't stop when I start but I am no longer angry. The anger came from a turbulent life. Very angry, I've seen a lot of anger and a lot of sadness.
Still not an excuse, but until I've recently undertaken therapy to figure that all out...now, as I say..I am better.
I don't want to be with my husband. He is unkind, selfish and cold.
We have been together for ten years, and have two small children and he is an AMAZING father. Coming from a broken home, I know (as does he) that I will never put my children through that, I will always sacrifice my own happiness for theirs...
BUT I do not want either of my kids growing up thinking this is 'normal'. It's not. He is a very unreasonable man. He is constantly telling me how fat I am, that having children (and breastfeeiding them both) is not an excuse to stuff my face.
I'm at such a loss.
Do I give my kids the family I never had, or do I cut my losses and give them a happy mum? With someone that loves me? Will anyone love me with two small kids?!?!