To move for my child's school

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My child has moderate special needs. I do not wish to give further details because their disorder is rare and I worry it may be outing.

They have potentially been offered a place at a world class specialist school which is perfect for their needs. Children attend from all over the country.

The school is about 1 hour away from us. Do I

A) move closer to the school. This would mean uprooting our lives and the lives of our other children, moving from an area we all love. Costs of moving also need to be factored in. But he would get the education he needs.

B) make him commute 1 hour each way for school every day. This would probably be by taxi. We would not manage this school run as me and my husband's workplaces are no where near this school.

C) find another closer school to send him to.

There is option D) send him to the school as a weekly border but for me this is absolutely not an option. I want my child home in the week.

My brother has severe learning difficulties and the most suitable school for his needs was about 45mins (each way) from our home. My parents took him to school each day and my sister and I (no SEN) went to the local mainstream schools closest to his school. I really liked it although it was tiresome travelling so much, it meant that it wasn't 'him' and 'us' and we kept our friends/social life in our home town but also meant that we made new friends and had different opportunities in the new area too. It was a massive commitment on our parents part but definitely the right one for us.

Move.

Your priority should always be providing your children with the best education possible. An hour long commute is too long. Find good schools for your other children proximate to the new school and move to a location that facilitates attendance for all.

How old is dc and siblings? Uprooting primary age is very different to teens. Are you certain the school is as good as you believe? Could you try it with the distance before committing to move?

Depending on age and personality of child, I would consider D, doing the commute on a Monday morning and Friday after school, so you get the full weekend together (and would obviously get holidays too).

Otherwise, I guess it would have to be A, although I would also consider the ages and needs of the other children and would be torn if it meant a big sacrifice for any of them.

Tough one, OP. I don't envy you.

Many SEN children have similar commutes to special schools

I would say move, but also consider that the school (which sounds perfect) might not actually work out for your son. What would you do then? Is the area good generally? I say this as someone this has actually happened to...

Start with the commute and ee how it goes. Hopefully he likes it and settles well but you can reassess the situation after a period
Uprooting your other kids and whole life for a school that may well not work out is madness.. try it out and see how it goes

My 8 year old's journey is 1hr15 minutes 1 way. LA taxi.

We can't afford to move as we live in a cheap area, plus I also have a Yr10 child in our nearest school and a Yr11 20 miles (also SEN).

It's a difficult one, not being able to move made the decision for me really.

B, the chid can travel one hour by taxi.
My DS does this, its a door to door service. Very easy and comfortable. Many children travel an hour to school. He'll soon get used to the routine and you won't need to uproot the whole family from an area you all like.
Great that you've got the place for him, well done!

Taxi.

My DCs had a 45 minute car trip to school. It was never a problem.

Whether I chose A or not would depend on whether it would be a move outside of the current LA and whether the place was being funded via an EHCP or equivalent.

If moving outside your current LA and the school was being funded via an EHCP or equivalent the new LA would review the EHCP and potentially amend, reassess or even cease to maintain so there wouldn’t be a guarantee they would name the school.

I would start with the long taxi rides and then if the school is as great as your hope and he loves it you might feel more comfortable with D as he gets older (I work in boarding and honestly think it is amazing for most children in senior school!)

Thank you all for your replies, they have been so helpful. I'm leaning towards taxi to start with and then we can go from there. Xx

Start with B. Many SEN children have similar journeys in our Local Authority as we are rural. Congratulations on getting the right placement for him!

I would also start with B. The most important thing is having him in a school that can best meet his needs and provide the best foundation for him for life. It seems unfair to uproot your other children who also have needs. When you see how the school operates D might become an option in the future. Sometimes we have to choose things that are less than ideal because the alternative is worse.

A lot of parents have said the same as me and ended up going with D. Maybe as he gets older I will feel more comfortable with option D xx

If you have other children, then I wouldn’t move them for the sake of one child.
I would certainly try him the taxi, unless he gets anxious, etc with long travel.

1 hour away is not enough to to consider option D imo.

Could you move 30 min closer so you’re in the middle of both places?

Depends how old they are and how much support they need daily.

If weekly boarding means better quality time with the other children then that could be an option.

I would start them there and see what it’s like and it they enjoy the school. They may not!

Then look at weekly boarding or moving closer.