To say no to this money?

[SayNoorYes]

I have debts, but I am managing them, they altogether equal under £1.5k. I am overpaying them and I have a couple of credit cards that I actually use regularly for purchases and pay off.

One of my parents has just inherited some money and was planning to give me some.

They want me to pay off all my debts including my credit cards, hand the credit cards back and just use them as credit instead when I need it.

The money would be put to much better use helping me to move house or get me a new car or paying for my childs activities for the next however many years (I’m a single parent and extra-curricular is actually one of my biggest expenses – I can afford it but any extra todays it would help).

Parent is saying if I don’t pay my debts off then I won’t get the money.

I am managing financially, I work part time and as I said I am paying them off, I also want to keep the credit cards as I want a mortgage in a few years and my credit rating right now is quite good and getting better.

So AIBU to say no? Or am I being foolish given the cost of living right now?

I’d accept.

But regardless you will have more money for extra curricular activities so I'm not sure I understand why you'd reject for that reason

Won’t being debt free be better for your mortgage application than a credit card?

And not having to make debt repayments means you can spend that money on extra curriculars.

I would accept. The money you are saving on repayments can be used on your child's extra curricular activities and its great to be debt free. I'd probably be a bit at having to hand them my credit cards though, very much treating you as a child who can't be trusted to manage their own money.

Take the money, use the money you save on debt repayments to cover activities.

It's the handing the credit cards back to the companies that's got me I think, I am actually managing those and never use more than half my limit unless it's a big purchase (like when I bought my washer) but I save up first use my credit card then pay it back just because I like the protection from using the CC.

Just accept it. Surely your other costs will be easier to manage without debt repayment, even if only a little.

For me, it’s the strings attached to the “gift”. They seem to feel being generous financially to you means they get to dictate how you live - no thanks! My parents are financially comfortable and generous and give us money from time to time with no notable strings attached. My ILs on the other hand! We never accept a penny off them! I would stop discussing your finances with them too. My parents, in laws or siblings would have no idea whether we had credit card or other debts.

I would take the money, but wouldn’t be handing cards back, and would explain that you don’t want to approach your parents for funding instead, you manage at the moment

Ah, handing the cc back to the companies is fine. I thought you had to hand them to your parents.
I’d accept, and then try not to use cc at all.
And after a few months , I’d apply for a cc if I felt I needed to buy via a cc for protection.
I’d not go to parents for credit as they can then disagree with the need or the amount.

I'd be concerned about the amount of control your parents are trying to have.
Tbh I'd be over the moon with any offer of help, like they have extended, except handing the CCs back.
I'd happily pay them off, keep them at £0 ongoing balance, but there are upsides to having them, like keeping a good balance, like the additional purchase protection.

Do they understand how this works? It's worth a conversation. It's also a really good safety net for if you need quick access to credit for any reason ....and holidays, how much I regret not booking holidays on CCs over the past few years! I can only imagine how much less stress it would've been to get refunds.

@Glowinglights

Ah, handing the cc back to the companies is fine. I thought you had to hand them to your parents. I’d accept, and then try not to use cc at all. And after a few months , I’d apply for a cc if I felt I needed to buy via a cc for protection. I’d not go to parents for credit as they can then disagree with the need or the amount.

@Glowinglights I think thats a good idea, but maybe keep the CCs, I have a low interest rate as I change them whenever my interest deal runs out

Whilst I'd resent the high-handedness of controlling what you do with the money (especially given it is inherited rather than earned, but that's another thread...) I'd accept. You can redistribute it later yourself. if you feel, for instance, spending on a credit card which you pay back in full each month helps you budget then apply for a new one and in future stop sharing your finances.

Take the money. Pay off debts.
Apply for new credit card so you can use it as you wish if needed.

Accept it, pay off debt, apply for a credit card that you spend a small amount on every month and pay off without fail to maintain your credit rating. Simple.

How will your parents know if you’ve closed the credit card accounts?

Can’t you just accept the money, pay off the debts, keep one card open for things that need credit card protection and save up for bigger stuff?

How on earth will your parents know if you give up your credit cards? Do they read your bank statements? I certainly would not be sharing that sort of info on how much debt I had or having Togo cap in hand to them for future loans- that sounds really worryingly controlling
You are right about having a card for protection and keeping high credit history as well. CCs are not the issue- debt is if it is not managed correctly . Especially as interest rates are going up now.
So, either tells white lie that you’ve handed them back, or tell them no thanks for the offer.

I'd refuse too because of the strings attached.

@NoSquirrels

How will your parents know if you’ve closed the credit card accounts?

Can’t you just accept the money, pay off the debts, keep one card open for things that need credit card protection and save up for bigger stuff?

@NoSquirrels This parent knows about the credit card as they saw it in my purse and saw me use it in the supermarket.

I sometimes use it if I'm a bit short right before payday and either pay it back in full or pay over minimum back.

For big purchases I save up, use my credit card for it and then pay the credit card back from my savings.

Accept it and get a new credit card on 0% they needn't know

There’s no such thing as “handing the credit cards back”. You just stop using them. If you don’t trust yourself, you cut them up.

I would always want to retain one for emergencies, but I can understand their concerns about you hanging on to multiple credit cards, particularly with your history. The only people I know with more than one or two credit cards are people with poor financial discipline.

I’d accept the money and cut up all except one credit card (which they don’t need to know about) in front of them.

Why would you basically turn free money down? You can always apply for another credit card further down the line if you need that backup

I’d accept. But if you want to keep making payments on the credit card for your credit rating to keep improving- I would use the credit card maybe for online purchases so you can still pay it back and your parents won’t know. That’s if they’re planning on keeping hold of your cards. If they want you to cancel them- how will they know if you don’t?!

@MayMorris

How on earth will your parents know if you give up your credit cards? Do they read your bank statements? I certainly would not be sharing that sort of info on how much debt I had or having Togo cap in hand to them for future loans- that sounds really worryingly controlling You are right about having a card for protection and keeping high credit history as well. CCs are not the issue- debt is if it is not managed correctly . Especially as interest rates are going up now. So, either tells white lie that you’ve handed them back, or tell them no thanks for the offer.

@MayMorris I sometimes use the credit cards right before payday if I need shopping but then pay it off in full or over the minimum on payday usually it's pay it off in full.

This is where the parent has seen the cards.

For big purchases I save up then use my CC and pay my CC off with the savings if that makes sense?

I'd accept!

You'd get a mortgage quicker being debt free. You'd honestly be stupid not to.