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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it possible to lose weight in perimenopause?

122 replies

Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:03

I hit early perimenopause at the end of my 30s. It took a while to figure out what was happening. I think I have HRT sorted now. I have put on about a stone a year however, and gone up from a size 8 to a 16 in about 4 years.
Everything I researched told me that slow and steady wins the race. Learned about blood sugar and fasting and gut microbiomes.
No fads. No crash diets. Just eat more vegetables and less processed food. Focus on eating well rather than trying to lose weight, and the weight loss will take care of itself.

I really have tried to stay positive. Have worked on being comfortable in my own skin. I have worked on reducing stress and upping connections with others.
But I'm struggling today. It's hot and sunny and I feel huge. My body shape is just so... middle-aged. I hate the way I am judged.

My inner feminist hates me for saying this. I've squashed this down. But fuck it. I just want to be slim again. I want to feel like me again. I want my flat tummy again. I want my breasts to not fall down to the sides. I want shapely legs, not fat ankles. I want my rings and bracelets to fit on my fingers and wrists again. I want to wear dresses and not have the pain of my thighs rubbing together. I don't want to "ummph" when I stand up or wobbly when I run.

I just want to be me again :(

OP posts:
Lampzade · 23/03/2022 16:07

Intermittent fasting and some simple exercise such as walking

SummerHouse · 23/03/2022 16:09

YANBU. It's really hard. Just wanted to say that before the questions and suggestions. Flowers

Original poster
Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:12

Intermittent fasting and some simple exercise such as walking

I dunno. I eat within a 6- or 8- hour window. I walk 15k steps a day. I'm currently unemployed so have lots of time to keep active.

I need to quit sugar completely. I rely on it emotionally far, far too much.

OP posts:
elizabethdraper · 23/03/2022 16:14

Yes, I am doing it.
Ignore all the fads fasting,keto, slimming world everything like that

Join a strength gym with small classes. You need this to strengthen your bone and improve your posture anyway

Eat clean, 1g of protein per 1g body day
Walk, smile, be positive,

Original poster
Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:15

Thank you @SummerHouse, I'm just feeling really down in the dumps. I always swore I wouldn't let my weight get me down like it has my mum. Easy to say when you're a size 8.

OP posts:
Iamtheweedonkey · 23/03/2022 16:15

It's so difficult, I'm 48, been peri menopausal for roughly 4 years now. I have put on 2 1/2 stone, gone from a comfortable 12 to am extremely tight 14. I'm short, I hate myself so much, I look like a wee ball. What really annoys me is that all my life I've thought I was fat, when in fact, I had a lovely figure. Arghh!

Original poster
Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:16

Join a strength gym with small classes. You need this to strengthen your bone and improve your posture anyway

I have weightlifted for about 10 years. It's the only exercise I've kept up really 'cos it's the one I enjoy. Do you do Olympic lifts?

OP posts:
nickEcave · 23/03/2022 16:16

I'm 47 and for me the answer has been portion control and walking - a lot of walking! I'm only 4ft 10 and was size 14, 10.5 stone in 2020. For the past 18 months I've walked at least 5 miles a day every single day and now I'm size 10, just over 9 stone. I only work 4 days a week, mostly from home, so I am able to fit the walking in and my children are secondary age. I would have struggled to make the time when they were younger.

MatildaTheCat · 23/03/2022 16:20

Have you had your thyroid checked? If you are being really honest with yourself about what you are eating you shouldn’t be gaining weight. It is harder though and now, in my mid fifties I’m struggling with my tummy even though I’m not overweight.

IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble · 23/03/2022 16:20

I have cut back massively on carbs, it's the only thing that works for me. I don't miss pasta, bread or any of the main carbs. I miss chocolate so have it at the weekends but only in moderation. I don't drink anymore either.

All sounds a bit shit but i have managed to go down a dress size so far and the feeling of my clothes fitting me again has been worth it!

Mercurial123 · 23/03/2022 16:20

Yes of course it is but you have to be prepared to reduce calories and exercise a lot. I do Crossrope (weighted skipping ropes) burns a lot of calories and is fun. I also cut out alcohol.

elizabethdraper · 23/03/2022 16:21

Oh 1500-1800 calories

None of this 1200 shite, your NEAT will reduce dramatically leading to less calories being used.

It will also lead to binging

Lubeyboobyalt · 23/03/2022 16:22

yup, I'm there right now

the fast 800 keto - best diet I've ever done. Be very careful and accurate with your food measurements and don't weigh in too often due to natural fluctuations that might make you think its not working (salt, exercise and hormones can all cause weird fluid retentions)

I'm weighing in monthly. Only got 2lb left to go now then I'll do the maintenance version. 26lb off so far since end of January - can't believe I'm so close to target already

and due to my appetite naturally reducing with fewer carbs, I know I can keep up the maintenance as well, it's honestly been a breeze. I hope you can find what works for you too and strongly recommend this one!

Original poster
Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:23

What really annoys me is that all my life I've thought I was fat, when in fact, I had a lovely figure. Arghh!

Yes! I once went up to a tight size 10 in my 20s and felt really uncomfortable Hmm Of course, I just skipped the biscuits for a couple of days and lost the weight...

OP posts:
Original poster
Wanabe · 23/03/2022 16:25

Thank you for the success stories, they are really helpful. I have a few weeks now where I really am in control of my time and choices.

I think that the first thing to really focus on is my sugar intake.

OP posts:
allinadaystwerk · 23/03/2022 16:25

The only thing that works for me is 16:8 intermittent fasting. It took 3 months of being strict for it to really kick in and then it was brilliant. I do a long 3 hr hike / country walk once a week other than that I'm quite sedentary tbh

It takes time to kick in but once it does its so easy. I came of it over Christmas and I put a 1st on in 3 weeks, I wasn't massively over eating just grazing late at night. I had to retrain myself again in January and Feb and thus month I'm back to what I was and finding it much easier. I will not come off it again.

I eat what I like within reason from 12 noon till 8pm then only have clear fluids (water or herbal tea coconut or real lemon lime juice mixed with sparkling spring water) between 8pm and 12 noon the next day. You can choose your 8 hr eating window to suit you. It sounds severe and its hard at first but once your body and mind syncs it becomes easier and the weight stays off!

gamerchick · 23/03/2022 16:28

Yes, by lifting weights and controlling diet. It's hard work and has to be consistent but it's paid off shape wise.

gamerchick · 23/03/2022 16:28

I like the fact my maintenance calories are 1900. Rather than just having 1200 a day also.

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 23/03/2022 16:31

I’ve gone up two dress sizes after decades of eating whatever I wanted and staying a size 8 (I know! Boo hoo!) but I’ve lost one dress size in the last three months by not buying chocolate and eating half a plate of fruit (breakfast)or veg (lunch/dinner) at every meal.

I really don’t have the mental capacity to manage anything more complicated than that. And when I’m struggling with the peri- stuff even that falls apart.

I used to have phenomenal willpower, now I’ve only to say “don’t” to myself to trigger a full scale teenage you’re-not-the-boss-of-me rebellion binge. That’s why I didn’t say I’ve given up chocolate - I just try to have twenty minutes of discipline in the supermarket and not fill the trolley with it.

I realise this is the absolute lamest diet plan ever (but it’s working)

SirChenjins · 23/03/2022 16:32

I did Slimming World (there mere mention of which upsets some on here I know) but actually found it very simple and easy to follow. I did it properly which basically means limiting fat, processed carbs and sugar, and lost weight on it. I now do a maintenance thing which basically means limiting these things but not as strictly, and eating in a specific time period. It’s hard but doable.

CakeAmbushAlert · 23/03/2022 16:36

15,000 steps a day should keep you trim and toned. What's you height and weight OP. Are you early 40s? A stone a year over how many years?

I'm early 40s. I've got lockdown weight to lose. Less willpower these days to eat well to fit into nice clothes. A husband who snacks beside me each night so I join in. Growing teenagers so we have substantial dinners when in the past I would have had lighter meals like soup some nights. No holiday booked to aim for. When I look in the mirror in my underwear there's a slightly podgy, deathly pale, cellulite legged middle aged imposter looking back!

HowIsItMarchAlready · 23/03/2022 16:36

Weight loss is mostly down to diet rather than exercise - it's a known fact. Sadly...

CakeAmbushAlert · 23/03/2022 16:38

I think that the first thing to really focus on is my sugar intake

Have you got anything you could give the boot immediately like sugary drinks?

travailtotravel · 23/03/2022 16:39

I lost 3 stone by cutting carbs and calorie limiting - i did the fast 800 thing for 3 months eating between 800-1200 cals a day. I was reasonably disciplined for 9 months after this between 1200-1500 cals to maintain and staying off carbs.

I started HRT in December. 12lbs from.nowhere and the tum. Bastards. I mean ...

So its possible but it takes an iron will.

LifeExperience · 23/03/2022 16:39

I'm in my 60s, so past menopause. The only thing that works at my age is cutting out sugar and all simple carbohydrates. I no longer eat bread, rice, potatoes or any kind of sweet other than once in a great while. Very little alcohol and no soft drinks, including diet drinks, which raise insulin. I like a fizzy drink so have naturally-flavored sparkling water instead.

Exercise will not help much with weight loss, but it's important for overall health. I wear a pedometer, do water aerobics and Tai Chi.