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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to deal with new neighbours

64 replies

justmovedhouse · 23/03/2022 09:45

So we've just moved in. Conscious that this might be outing so I'll try to be brief and I've name changed.

We share a boundary with a couple who don't like an electric cable against 'their' fence on our side. It's all perfectly safe, it's armoured cable and is currently dead anyway). It was there when we looked round and when we moved in. They've pulled it off and damaged some plants. They've left a passive aggressive note in our garden about it and told us they take people to court.

My view -they go low, we got high. So move the cable (won't be easy and we need it to be out of the way of the kids) and just be polight but keep our distance.

Husband thinks they'll just walk all over us thinking we're wimps and what will it be next. Not sure what he wants but he's really upset by it.

Who is right? Am I being a wimp?

OP posts:
MrsWinters · 23/03/2022 10:58

They’ve handled it badly, but if it’s their fence then you need their permission to attach anything to it or paint it etc.
I’d look to do something else with the cable and when you pass them give them a cheery wave and say “sorry the cable was already there but we’ll move it, we didn’t know it was a problem”
Try and shift the relationship onto a calmer footing.

justmovedhouse · 23/03/2022 10:59

I would just put up our own fence but their comment it's not a boundary fence worries me that any fence we put up they'll say is on their land. We can't come in to our garden a safe distance because of some fruit trees.

I really don't want to escalate things. Equally I don't want them to be griping about other stuff if we sort this.

I think it is their fence based on 2nd and 3 rd hand info. The deeds are no help. I'm happy to sort the cable but the way they've felt with it has really got our backs up especially as we've not changed or moved anything.

OP posts:
justmovedhouse · 23/03/2022 11:02

Annoying thing is we would have been super nice to them but won't dare any more contact than necessary now.

OP posts:
Oldandcobwebby · 23/03/2022 11:07

I know it's missing the point a bit, but the cable should not be fixed to a fence anyway. But that is no excuse for the high-handed behaviour of your neighbours.

professional-electrician.com/technical/electrical-installations-garden/

Oakdog · 23/03/2022 11:09

Are you renting or have you bought? Was anything stated during the sale about disputes with neighbours?

Hallmark1234 · 23/03/2022 11:11

I think firstly you really need to try and establish a) is it a boundary fence and b) who owns it. Check your deeds if you have them, look on land registry, or ask the Solictor that handled the purchase.

Next either speak to them, or put a note through their door (they can't argue back, or interrupt you, if you write it down), but whoever's fence/boundary it it, they don't have the right to come onto your property and damage plants. I wonder why they waited until previous neighbour left before they did that? I would also suspect their were problems that previous neighbour hasn't disclosed.

I also agree you should deal with this promptly to show them you're not a walkover. People like this will see your acceptance of their behaviour a green light for further problems.

Really, take a big breath and with the back up of your husband tackle this now.

Thirkettle · 23/03/2022 11:16

If I got a welcome letter saying 'we take people to court' I would do everything in my power to legally annoy the fuck out of them until they left or had heart attacks.

I would win.

BlanketsBanned · 23/03/2022 11:17

You need to check the boundaries, they cannot accuse you of putting up a fence on their land if its in your garden that you own.

AllOfUsAreDead · 23/03/2022 11:21

I'd find out who owns the fence from my solicitor, and then send them a letter from said solicitor about how they have damaged our property.

R0llonspring · 23/03/2022 11:28

[quote Oldandcobwebby]I know it's missing the point a bit, but the cable should not be fixed to a fence anyway. But that is no excuse for the high-handed behaviour of your neighbours.

professional-electrician.com/technical/electrical-installations-garden/[/quote]
I agree that have handled it badly, but may have been stung by a bad relationship with the previous neighbours. I'd 'kill them with kindness' and hopefully they will soften.

^^ But I actually think it's academic, since what Oldandcobwebby said here is correct. We've just had armoured electrical cable fitted in our garden for a habitable out building and it was laid in duct that was then buried about a foot underground. Electrician said it was a legal requirement. Google it, there's a lot of information and videos about how to do it.

It sounds like the previous owners installed it illegally in the first place. Good luck.

AdobeWanKenobi · 23/03/2022 11:37

@whoruntheworldgirls

If you need the cable and are happy with it's placement and it's on your side then leave it, sod them, it's YOUR garden.
She cant 'sod them' because whilst it's her garden it's THEIR fence and as such the law says she can't paint it, nail anything into it, hang anything from it or attach anything to it. This includes the fence posts.

Personally OP I'd sink the cable in the ground along the base of the fence and ignore moving forwards. They are right if it is indeed their fence, but the way they have gone about it wouldn't endear me to them.

Movinghouseatlast · 23/03/2022 11:37

Look on gov.uk for the law on fences. It is very clear on there and will help to know the actual legal position.

comfortablyfrumpy · 23/03/2022 11:40

I'm guessing there has been a neighbour dispute between them and your sellers (which wasn't declared).
Good luck, sounds like you have a good way forward.

Movinghouseatlast · 23/03/2022 11:42

Why would they say a fence in your garden was in theirs? If they paid for the fence, even if they are not responsible for it in the deeds then you are not allowed to hang anything on it. Are there T marks on your deeds?

I moved because of a fence issue with my nutter ex neighbour. I nearly had a breakdown over it.

justmovedhouse · 23/03/2022 12:01

I'll try and talk DH into burying it some how. It'll take a bit of time though there's other stuff that's more urgent and it'll be quite a job. Whilst it's a dead cable it's not urgent.

If she brings it up with me I will say no more notes please I don't feel that is a good way to deal with things. It's intrusive. Also you damaged plants.

Hopefully there'll be nothing else and that's sufficient.

OP posts:
Katkins67 · 23/03/2022 12:11

Hi OP. I would recommend having your solicitor follow up with the previous owner as to whether there was an on-going dispute with the neighbour re this. This should have been declared by the previous owner as part of the sale.
What an awful way to welcome new neighbours, agree they sound batshit.

SleepingSausages · 23/03/2022 12:12

I think you should arrange a meeting with them. Potentially somewhere neutral like a local coffee shop. Maybe being in public will keep them civil.

Ask and listen to their grievances and then state your own ie plants and aggressive note. If you are proposing to bury the cable then this should mollify them.

They sound the types to keep bringing up issues so try to neutralise these early in your relationship.

Nightmare.

Nicholethejewellery · 23/03/2022 12:16

Honestly? Start putting the wheels in motion to move away. Whatever you do in this situation will make your relationship with the neighbours worse. Confronting them (at any point on the "super polite to rather aggressive" scale) will aggravate them, in fact any reaction by you at all will aggravate them including doing nothing. They're not reasonable people, otherwise they wouldn't have climbed over the fence and issued a veiled threat of legal action as their first interaction with you. You're better off selling up before you start getting into official disputes that you will have to declare. It's only a matter of time.

Catclean · 23/03/2022 12:27

You'll need an electrician in at some point anyway won't you? So they'll advise on how the cable should be dealt with. As above, it's going to have to go underground.

BoldMove · 23/03/2022 12:52

I'd probably try to get in touch with the previous owners and ask if it was ever a problem when they lived there. They should've by rights told you about any neighbour disputes. Either way it'll give you some insights as to whether you're living next to some batshitters and what to expect. I'd consider putting your fence on your side if you need to attach the cable later. Alternative is to hivriund and be mega sweet saying you didn't know it was a problem and your door us always open if there any problems in future. Take the higher ground as you said. Doesn't mean your weak. They may ge as theyvebeen cowardly doing this way.

billy1966 · 23/03/2022 13:21

Photograph the damage for one.

Have you just bought the property?
Go back to your solicitor and ask why you weren't informed there was bad blood between the neighbours as they are already threatening you.
Contact 101 and ask for advice as they have threatened you and damaged your property.

I believe people like that are bullys.
Don't allow them to bully you.
You will regret it.

megletthesecond · 23/03/2022 13:29

Is there a possibility it's technically their side of the boundary, and should be their fence. But previous occupants of your house have put a fence on your side of the boundary?

My neigbour refused to put a fence up so I've put a fence up 6" into my side of the boundary.

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 23/03/2022 13:35

I’d be more worried about their warning that it ‘isn’t the boundary fence’ tbh. Where do they think the boundary is, do you agree, do your deeds/land registry agree? Because if they’re this ott about a fence then a boundary will potentially be a much bigger issue in future. And yes I’d also be suspicious about previous undeclared dispute, I doubt they’ve suddenly started to be threatening court out of nowhere.

StaplesCorner · 23/03/2022 13:59

@DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat

I’d be more worried about their warning that it ‘isn’t the boundary fence’ tbh. Where do they think the boundary is, do you agree, do your deeds/land registry agree? Because if they’re this ott about a fence then a boundary will potentially be a much bigger issue in future. And yes I’d also be suspicious about previous undeclared dispute, I doubt they’ve suddenly started to be threatening court out of nowhere.
Depressing but I agree with @DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat - sorry OP that's all you need.
OddsNSodsBitsNBobs · 23/03/2022 14:02

@whoruntheworldgirls

If you need the cable and are happy with it's placement and it's on your side then leave it, sod them, it's YOUR garden.
Whilst I agree with this you can't legally attach anything to a boundary wall/fence without the owners agreement.

OP, think you'll need to find an alternative method to run the cable to your outbuilding.