to not know how to use the gym?

[crispmidnightpeace]

My husband has got me a gym session for while I wait just half an hour for our daughter to do a class there. It's his gym, so he knows people there. I have not been inside a gym in almost 25 years.

The only area of my body I am not happy with is my bum.

Can I just work my bum the whole time? What machine should I head to? I envisage myself going on a machine, being trapped in it or something, and having someone my husband knows have to rescue me and him becoming a laughing stock.

An idea of what to do so I don't look like what I am (a 40 year old divvy who has no idea how to use a gym) or ideally some type of blow by blow of how to behave and what machine to go on, would really help me, thanks.

Hang on, this embarrassment is coming from him? That’s quite the drip feed. He sounds like a dick. Why would he buy you a session at the gym he uses and then make you feel worried about using it? He should be encouraging you and offering to help, not being a belittling twat.

@DameHelena

Honestly, OP, I wouldn't follow any advice on here about using a particular bit of equipment. You need an induction for health and safety.

Also, this stopped me in my tracks:
He values his time there and doesn't want me to embarrass him. I am quite embarrassing with little social etiquette.
He's told you, has he, that he doesn't want you to embarrass him? Has he told you that before? You seem to think you're embarrassing; where does that idea come from?

I am, I'm completely mental. And I have no fashion sense and am loud and often rude. My parents are crazy and I'm an only child. I do try. I get along best with other eccentric types such as in my theatre group. We are all mad in that industry.

OK, but "He values his time there and doesn't want me to embarrass him.*

I repeat: He's told you, has he, that he doesn't want you to embarrass him? Has he told you that before?

I'd go to the pub and have a glass of wine as normal, if I were you Sounds like he's set you up to fail.

Yeah think I'd go to the pub too! Why do you actually want to do the gym thing (and I say that as someone who loves the gym!)

If he finds your general demeanour embarrassing, you have bigger problems than how to use the gym.

He's your husband. He's the one person in the world who should think you're great, even if nobody else does. I can understand that we might all cringe at an individual behaviour in our partners, but this isn't that. He finds you being you embarrassing. Isn't he embarrassed by wanting to be an MMA fighter? That's like 'I wanna be a pop star!'... how old is he, 14?

Ok OP... Eccentric, loud, unorthodox fashion sense... You sound right up my street, can we be friends???

Honestly don't go if you don't want to. You should be able to say a polite no thank you to your husband and find another way to get some exercise.

If you do go, absolutely don't pick up a weight without help from a PT because it is so easy to injure yourself.

And finally, just to point out that there's absolutely loads more benefits to working out than how you look. Its brilliant that you are so happy with your body. But if you do have any interest in starting going to the gym, the benefits of building some muscle mass are numerous and life changing. So you would want to workout your whole body, not just your bum, regardless.

But that said honestly just go and have fun with your excellent sounding friends

Usually when you join a gym for the first time they require you to have an induction where a staff member will take you round and show you how to use the equipment safely. So at your induction you can ask them what to use and they’ll show you how to do it.

At all the gyms I’ve been part of they offer a free session to form a programme based on what you want from the gym and it’s been really helpful and I’d probably happily pay for that too

If you’d like to do the gym, then don’t worry about being eccentric/whatever! Get one of the PTs to show you what to do and make you a plan. This is standard in most gyms. I was worried, but the PT is just as bonkers as I am.

If you don’t want to do the gym though then stick with the wine!

Get a personal trainer. Honestly the skills and exercises you learn with them will set you up for life and you'll never feel shy about going into the gym again. I'd suggest 5/6 sessions at least with a PT.