Miscarriage 3rd baby I’m devastated

[InSearchOfSmth87]

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks ( confirmed at 11 weeks) which was so devastating that I felt I just needed to get pregnant again. I already had a ds but had been ttc for a while, I did get pregnant again after less than 3 months and had a healthy ds2. He will be 12 months soon.
I fell “accidentally” pregnant over Christmas holidays. We were shocked, scared but happy to experience children closer together ( there’s a 5.5 year gap between the boys). Sadly I lost the baby yesterday at 10 weeks (discovered at 12+4 weeks) and had a D&C. I can’t shake the feeling of needing to have that baby now. But I’m also confused as how will I manage with 3, especially if the youngest would have only 2 year apart (if I’m lucky to fall pregnant again in a few months).
I don’t have any family support here (they are back in my home country) and I guess that’s why I can’t shake the feeling of having another child to fill the void of needing more people and family around me so my rational thinking is “If I can’t be with my family back there, I should create a bigger family here” Not sure if that’s reasonable.
I am turning 35 in a few weeks btw. And struggling with very low moods. I don’t think I am able to proceed with life if I won’t at least try to have a successful pregnancy again.... is this just crazy ? I guess I’m just heartbroken by yet another pregnancy loss :( I am starting acupuncture again (I did that after my last miscarriage and during the pregnancy which I believed helped me heal, conceive and have that healthy baby)

Any experiences or suggestions as well as constructive criticism welcome..

I’m sorry I don’t have any experience of this but I’m bumping for you and hoping others wiser than me might be along soon

I’m so sorry OP, I don’t have experience but just wanted to send you some love

I think you need to take some time to grieve this pregnancy and get yourself into a better place (emotionally/mentally) before you consider whether you want (and can cope with) a third child. Your second child is still only a baby and you’re only 35. you’ve time to add to your family if it’s want you and your partner really want.
This feels like a very (understandable) knee jerk reaction to your loss.

I’m 45.

I had a miscarriage at 32.
My daughter at 33
My son at 35
Miscarriage at 38
Miscarriage at 38 which was twins

I was heartbroken after every miscarriage but the two after my son broke me as they happened soon after my Dad’s death. I decided not to try again incase I had another miscarriage. I honestly regret not trying again. As you know the pain of miscarriage does eventually fade although you always feel the loss. In your heart if you know that you would love another go for it ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss. Did anyone at the hospital etc mention any access to mental health support or counselling? It might help just to have someone to talk to for a while.

I have just been through something similar. We had to have a medical termination of our 3rd baby and I’m heartbroken.

Definitely recommend PP counselling advice, the hospital gave me some and it’s been really useful just to vent / cry.

I’m still bleeding and all I can think about is having another baby and getting pregnant.

Same worries about a third, can we cope, 3 is creeping into larger size family, can i give them all enough attention, new cars etc.

I think the hormones are definitely part of it, I said I’m going to give myself a few months. Focus on me, loose some weight for the summer, eat healthy and enjoy my kids. A few months won’t hurt in ttc but we thought this was the best idea to be really sure what we want. Plus we need to understand risks of medical issues again.

I am so sorry for your loss, life completely sucks at times.

I'm so sorry for your loss

I lost an accidental 3rd pregnancy and the pain and emotion of it shocked and devastated me, I too instantly wanted to be pregnant again and yet knew it wasn't a great time but my heart wanted it so badly. I ended up taking a break from TTC and getting counselling because it was taking over my life and all my headspace and I felt like that wasn't right - it really helped me. I went on to get pregnant again and I'm in a much better place now mentally.

I’m sorry I have not replied. I am grateful for all the support I have received and all the messages, and I’m sorry so many of us have to go through this sad experience.
I was not getting obsessed about getting pregnant this time, we only “did it” twice the weeks following the bleed. And surprise surprise I got pregnant ( just a few weeks after D&C). I should have been more careful.
And now I really regret it as I should have let my body heal, and the pregnancy has problems. I went for an early scan when I should have been 10 weeks, I measured 9+2 and there was some fluid around the head and abdomen. They didn’t even give me a photo and referred to EPU.
I has a scan the following week measuring 10+2 and there was still fluid but heartbeat and everything else was fine. I’m booked for the next scan this Tuesday when I should be 11+6 weeks so nearly 12 weeks and they can measure the fluid and run the tests. Although I just listened with the Angelaounds and couldn’t find a heartbeat so I’m not super hopefully anyways.
oh well if it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be, and I will not try again. xx

I'm so sorry. I went through 3 including a later loss. Have they given you a reason as to the losses?

I have the cvs test booked for Monday but the bloods came back with 1:6 Down’s and 1:104 for the other two syndromes. Not meant to be I suppose, I will stick with my two lovely boys, just want this all to be over

Just an update and closing of this thread, went to the hospital today and there is no heartbeat, died possibly 12 weeks + a few days. I suppose it wasn’t meat to me, and considering that my marriage is a mess, maybe it is for the best. I am still sad though..

@InSearchOfSmth87 Hello, I know this is your old thread but just wanted to say that I hope you're in a much better place right now and I'm sorry for your losses 💐

@SoInLuv Thank you. I will be in a better place soon. I can see now that these babies were not meant to be. I am glad that I did not bring any more children into this mess. My husband turned out to be “a not so nice person” and we are separating :( Things happen for a reason.