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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go stay with my parents?

10 replies

Isladogs · 22/03/2022 21:15

Not so much an AIBU but not sure what's the best thing to do.

DSCs live with us full time. Norovirus is doing the rounds in the schools here and they've spent the last 2 days spewing everywhere. DP is now also feeling ill and has diarrhoea as of today.
DP has spent the entire day with DSCs on the sofa, which to me has made this room out of bounds for my DD (6 months) and I as I don't want to risk her catching it. I have been taking her out and about during the day so she's away from the house and tonight he has only taken them into their rooms at bedtime so I "can use the living room now". I googled how to clean the room and sofa to avoid exposure to the virus and it's said it can live on fabrics for up to 12 days and is notoriously contagious. If it was just me I wouldn't be bothered but I really don't want DD catching it as she's so wee.

Should I go and stay at my parents house? DSCs have very poor hygiene habits (we've been working on this) and I've already had one of them slam the door on me because I (genuinely really nicely) reminded them to wash their hands after they've been to the toilet. I don't really want to risk DD catching it but it may cause some tension if I go stay with my parents as DSCs were calling me germ-obsessed when they had covid when DD was just a few months old and I kept her away from them for the week.

OP posts:

Original poster

Isladogs · 22/03/2022 21:43

Anyone?

OP posts:

M0rT · 22/03/2022 21:48

How frail are your parents? If they are relatively young and fit I'd go, but there's a good chance you are incubating it now so if they would be hit hard you'll have to try keep your baby separate as best you can at home.
If she does get it just keep a close eye on her for dehydration.

Original poster

Isladogs · 22/03/2022 21:54

@M0rT

How frail are your parents? If they are relatively young and fit I'd go, but there's a good chance you are incubating it now so if they would be hit hard you'll have to try keep your baby separate as best you can at home. If she does get it just keep a close eye on her for dehydration.

They're early-mid 60s and other than my mum being overweight are in okay health. My dad had bad food poisoning a couple of months ago though so would probably be happy not to catch it.

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Whatinthelord · 22/03/2022 21:58

I agree with the pp about balancing the risk to your dad with the risk to your parents if they are elderly.

You’re not unreasonable to go stay with you parents if you feel that is the best thing to do. It is a little odd you are letting the children’s comments about you being germ obsessed affect your choice. How old are the sc.

Original poster

Isladogs · 22/03/2022 22:27

@Whatinthelord

I agree with the pp about balancing the risk to your dad with the risk to your parents if they are elderly.

They are 8 and 10. To be honest it's not so much the comments themselves but that last time when they had covid it created tensions in the household because we're not a nuclear family. They became upset and annoyed that I was keeping away with DD (which they would say was ridiculous and that I was just germ-obsessed) which then led to DP becoming bothered by it and saying I was creating a divide between the family and making it us and them. I know mum's with babies the same age as mine who did the same thing when their own children caught covid, in order to try to prevent the baby from catching it, but because they are my DSC and not my own DC it was taken differently.

OP posts:

Original poster

Isladogs · 23/03/2022 09:57

So I decided to stay, DP slept in with the DSC and I stayed in my room with DD.
DSS8 got up this morning saying he felt fine, came through and went to the toilet, when he came out I told him he had to go back in and wash his hands as they were bone dry so he obviously hadn't washed them. He came out and I made him breakfast, he went over to play with DD but I told him we needed to give it a couple of days to know that he can't pass anything to her. I got a look but he was okay about it, but I'm so glad I said that because when I went into the toilet there was poo on the floor and all over the toilet paper. He's obviously had trouble with it and got it on his hands but the fact that he thought he then didn't know that if there's any time he needs to wash his hands it would be then just boggles me. Am I expecting too much to think an 8 year old would know that?

Now I'm panicking about how well he's washed his hands and what he's touched around the house.

Sorry if this is a drip feed but after my daughter was born I had quite bad postpartum anxiety. It had died down but this has got me worrying about everything again.

OP posts:

SilverHairedCat · 23/03/2022 10:02

Have you got a steam cleaner? I'd just fumigate every surface with they. Door handles, the bathroom, banisters, the sofa etc. That's what I do if one of us gets ill - no point in everyone being ill if it can be avoided.

PattyMelt · 23/03/2022 10:43

I'd get a couple of spray cans of Dettol anti bacterial spray, do all the door handles, light switches, toilet, taps etc a couple of times a day. Try and keep it at bay.

LabelMaker · 23/03/2022 10:46

Get the detol spray stuff. Open windows. I wouldn't go to your parents as unfortunately there's a chance you have it now. I had the same with my DSC and poor hygiene just keep on at them every time. Make them wash their hands. No excuse to be disgusting at that age.

LabelMaker · 23/03/2022 10:47

I got a look but he was okay about it, but I'm so glad I said that because when I went into the toilet there was poo on the floor and all over the toilet paper. that his gross. His dad needs to step up here.

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