Hi 👋 POTENTIAL TRIGGER DV
For context, I have one toddler and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. Both to the same man.
We split up a few weeks ago (maybe 3/4 weeks) and he's since moved a few hours away for work, he really wants to get back together and I'm really hesitant.
It's been toxic since day one, he took me away from friends and started isolating me and I was so naive that I didn't realise, then I fell pregnant.. he started pushing me around but then he'd cry his eyes out after and I'd feel really bad and I brushed it aside.
He stopped for a few months and then things got worse, to the point it was physical and mental. I can say now that I was living with domestic violence but it took me a while to realize it.
He was diagnosed with PTSD and has had a bad past and he blames a lot on his illness, he says he didn't initially realise how bad it was and he's sorry and he will get help and sort himself out.
He's adamant on "making me fall back in love with him" I still stupidly love him and I feel bad for him but I can't keep living like this. I'm pregnant though, so what do I do..
My daughter goes to bed around 6pm so after that I find myself to be lonely some nights, I have thought about just talking to other men.. I think it's just the attention I want if im honest.
I don't want another relationship and im embarrassed to be pregnant again to him, I haven't even posted on social media that im expecting.. is that awful?
I want the baby, I don't regret the baby and I know I will love them as much as I do my daughter but im embarrassed about my situation.
He does have good qualities too, he's not all bad and its not bad all of the time either.
I just want to hear other peoples thoughts on this.. should I be with him?
Is it bad to speak to other people?
Thanks