Posting here for traffic. Sorry!
Also posting on behalf of a friend so try to keep things factual but not too much detail to out them.
Friend had 3 children with ex, he was physically, verbally and sexually abusive. Two attempts at going to court and my friend dropped the charges due to being scared. It’s been 2 years since no contact. The ex calls the children once a week for a video call, still sends Christmas and birthday presents, however will send the older sibling more expensive presents, on the younger siblings birthday will also send the older sibling an expensive gift - think novelty gift for younger and gaming console for older.
SS we’re involved at the time of split as my friend contacted them. He was physically abusive in front of them and did slight things that were mentally damaging to the younger sibling.
One of the siblings has SEN and routine is very important. They’ve never been involved with the video calls as they wet themselves when it happens, all documented.
This week friends ex contacted her and said he’s moving back to the area and said he wants to see them at the weekend. Friend is in the process of contacting SS and school liaison for the SEN child. Realistically what advice can I give her about keeping her kids safe. She’s aware she can get in trouble for just refusing contact. She also doesn’t have money for court.