To feel a bit sorry for myself

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 2022-03-22T16:47:07+00:00

...and maybe a bit angry. Since lockdown began I started going to a "creative writing for well-being" zoom workshop. It was free, though due to lack of funding we had to contribute a modest amount to the last session which was totally worth it. Today was the last class and no one knows if they will start up again due to funding. In person classes however WILL be starting up again. I am unable to attend these due to my disability and lack of transport. These zoom classes have really kept me going. My mental health was being well maintained because I had this class to look forward to every fortnight. Also I had "homework" to focus on in between times. I was meeting and connecting with a variety of people. It really was a lovely group. I felt like my world had opened up. I'm feeling quite miserable that it's closing back down again. I feel like the needs of people like me are being overlooked. My book club looks like it is going the same way. It's just seems very disheartening after having this respite for the last two years that it's just being wrenched away. I will have a mope and then have a look to see if I can find something else to fill the big gap it's going to leave. Thanks if you got this far. I just needed to vent.

EishetChayil · 22/03/2022 16:54

Can you and the other members not keep it going?

SNUG2022 · 22/03/2022 17:00

Can they not set up a laptop in the room for you to join in remotely? I wouldn't give up without making some proposals first.

Gruach · 22/03/2022 17:06

Oh no! I know exactly how you must feel. I was invited to join a similar-ish weekly group during lockdown, which had previously been inaccessibly face to face before covid. (Almost a whole day’s round trip away.) I think, without it I’d have lost all my communication faculties over the last two years - and I’d look a sight. It was often the only day in a whole week where I had to look like a person.

Thankfully, now, it’s become a hybrid thing - people who live in the relevant city attend in person, the rest of us continue to attend on zoom.

Can you not persuade your group to do that? It’s not much trouble for the organisers - there’s no reason at all not to keep the virtual members.

NarrowHippedVixen · 22/03/2022 17:08

Oh that must feel so sad. Can you push for the zoom one to continue? Ask if they can make the in-person one hybrid? Or find a new one which is still running remotely? There must still be some out there!

gingerhills · 22/03/2022 17:13

OP, I'm sorry it has come to a close, but if you enjoyed it, can you look for a similar class that is permanently run online? Or contact some of your fellow students in the last class and start a self-led writing for wellbeing workshop on Zoom or FB. Maybe others also find it hard to get there in person.

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 17:39

Thanks for the responses.

You know I hadn't considered the possibility of doing a hybrid class!

We were all encouraged to email one of the organisers and let them know our feelings. 2 or 3 of us were in tears. I will add this in.

Re: meeting up with other members. I'd be a bit wary as this type of group really needs a facilitator to keep things on track/on topic and generally just be very sensitive if someone over shares.
The facilitator is pretty spectacular at this. Not only are they great at guiding the writing they have experience with counselling. They've been doing this kind of thing for about 20 years.

There is also part of me who thinks, just accept it and find something else. If it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen. I definitely got too reliant on this and book club which is also heading in the same direction.

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TottersBlankly · 22/03/2022 17:54

just accept it …

Hmm …

Lack of women’s suffrage?

Apartheid?

Imprisonment of gay men in the UK?

Strip searching of young girls in school?

Nah …

All you’re asking for is the use of a laptop with zoom facility.

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 18:05

@TottersBlankly

just accept it …

Hmm …

Lack of women’s suffrage?

Apartheid?

Imprisonment of gay men in the UK?

Strip searching of young girls in school?

Nah …

All you’re asking for is the use of a laptop with zoom facility.

I suppose I'm just thinking of the logistics of making it work. Also when something becomes difficult I have a tendency to just give up nowadays.

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TottersBlankly · 22/03/2022 18:27

The logistics?

What you’ve described is exactly the same as the group I attend. So - anyone who wants to do so can attend in person. A laptop is placed in the room with the zoom camera turned towards those present. The people attending on zoom can see and speak to the people in the room - and vice versa. It’s best if this is managed by an organiser. Everyone gets to listen and participate.

Please don’t give up without even suggesting this obvious solution!

DaffTheDoggo · 22/03/2022 18:31

If you can’t find a solution with your current group, have a look at Arvon.

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 18:32

It's a free class run by the local library. They have few resources and even less money. It may be easy but my state of mind is seeing only obstacles.

I will email the person again.

You telling me about the class that you do like this gives me a bit of hope.

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Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 18:33

So thank you

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Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 18:35

@DaffTheDoggo

If you can’t find a solution with your current group, have a look at Arvon.

Nice idea, thank you but even with concessions it's out of my budget. I'll keep looking.

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TottersBlankly · 22/03/2022 18:38

@DaffTheDoggo

If you can’t find a solution with your current group, have a look at Arvon.

Worth doing anyway - they have a steady programme of online classes. (And their grants really do materialise, so you may not have to spend more than you can afford.)

The only thing is, it’s nice to attend a group comprised of people you’re familiar with.

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 18:45

Thanks, I'll have another more in-depth look.
Yes, as a group we have built up quite a rapport. We are all familiar with each other, comfortable and feel safe in that space. Quite bizarre really since we all started this class as newbies to zoom. I quite honestly didn't like zoom/FaceTime at all. I'm now very comfortable with it. I have counselling via zoom too. It's so much easier!

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Blue4YOU · 22/03/2022 19:02

I really hope they can facilitate you OP!
I’m sure they will try - after all it’s been on Zoom so far: what’s the difference in a few people joining just that way…

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 19:29

@Blue4YOU

I really hope they can facilitate you OP! I’m sure they will try - after all it’s been on Zoom so far: what’s the difference in a few people joining just that way…

I really hope they can. I suppose new people to the group would need to be ok with having technology invade their in person meeting. It'll change the dynamic of the group that's for sure! I have a feeling that those on zoom may get overlooked in favour of those in the room. I don't know, I'm probably catastophising

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Underfrighter · 22/03/2022 19:34

Well nothing has been decided as yet so you have an opportunity to shape the class.

Is there anywhere that is accessible to you nearby? That you can suggest you meet so that you and anyone with any similar issues can attend. It doesn't need to be a traditional meeting place...you could ask a pub if you could corner off an area weekly if some of you agree to stay for lunch after. A cafe near us lets people use some space at quiet times. Depending on how big the group is, it could be at someones house or keep rotating around people and you could go to some. You could suggest keeping the classes on line to keep things focussed and have separate meet ups socially in accessible places.

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 19:47

@Underfrighter

Well nothing has been decided as yet so you have an opportunity to shape the class.

Is there anywhere that is accessible to you nearby? That you can suggest you meet so that you and anyone with any similar issues can attend. It doesn't need to be a traditional meeting place...you could ask a pub if you could corner off an area weekly if some of you agree to stay for lunch after. A cafe near us lets people use some space at quiet times. Depending on how big the group is, it could be at someones house or keep rotating around people and you could go to some. You could suggest keeping the classes on line to keep things focussed and have separate meet ups socially in accessible places.

Yes, I just need to write the email. Job for tomorrow. I already sent one today and the person is on holiday for another week. I WANT ANSWERS NOW lol. It's a lovely idea getting together that I would definitely pursue but unfortunately the vast majority are geographically too far apart for it to be feasible. I've met one of the group in real life at my house, which was nice but they have difficulties with physical health too so I don't want to exhaust that.

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TottersBlankly · 22/03/2022 19:50

The person who manages our meetings is scrupulous (or at least tries to be!) about alternating between remote and in person participants. It does assume a degree of respect and consideration amongst all attendees - no one tries to monopolise the time available, and anyone who hasn’t spoken is given space to do so if they want.

Remember, this is the norm now. All the conferences I’m aware of in my subject area are being planned as hybrid events; performances of all kinds allow some opportunity for online viewing, no one wants to look as if they’re excluding anyone.

And libraries are maintained by councils, aren’t they? Your council tax pays for this group - you have a right to attend! (Arguably. I have no actual knowledge of the terms on which it’s run. )

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 19:54

@TottersBlankly

The person who manages our meetings is scrupulous (or at least tries to be!) about alternating between remote and in person participants. It does assume a degree of respect and consideration amongst all attendees - no one tries to monopolise the time available, and anyone who hasn’t spoken is given space to do so if they want.

Remember, this is the norm now. All the conferences I’m aware of in my subject area are being planned as hybrid events; performances of all kinds allow some opportunity for online viewing, no one wants to look as if they’re excluding anyone.

And libraries are maintained by councils, aren’t they? Your council tax pays for this group - you have a right to attend! (Arguably. I have no actual knowledge of the terms on which it’s run. )

Thanks for this. It makes me feel a lot better about this.....and dare I say it determined?

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TottersBlankly · 22/03/2022 20:00

‘Accessibility’ is the key word for your email …

Original poster

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 22/03/2022 20:11

@TottersBlankly

‘Accessibility’ is the key word for your email …

Yes!
Annoys me when the facilitator of the group states that the occasional outings they go on are accessible if you can walk a little bit. If you can't you can sit in the café. It's like a slap in the face. Yeah, a couple of hours round trip assuming I can get a lift, to sit in a café with the other cripples. Thanks

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