To want to be financially Independent

[Samantha312]

I need some advice..so I currently work part time and earn a good amount, however, DH and I haven’t been getting on recently and he said this morning he is moving to his mums, even if he doesn’t I don’t like the fact that I do rely on him financially and won’t be able to afford childcare, bills etc by myself and the thought scares me. I would love to be able to cope by myself if he ever left…how can I get to this point? I honestly feel he would leave me in S* if it came to it so need to get this sorted

As a single parent you will get help towards the cost of childcare. He would have to pay you maintenance too. Do you own your house or rent?

What hours do you do ? What is part time?

You can't force a man to pay maintenance if he decides not to, so its essential you are financially independant.
Find a job, any job you can get with hours that work for you; then look into upgrading your job to one you want.

Can you increase your hours?

OP I am a single mum, just gone to full time in my job to boost my income. I get universal credit even working FT and you get a higher amount if you have childcare to pay for. I also get the child benefit. My ex is a high earner. I earn less than 30k but can still pay for my own house, mortgage etc with these added income boosts. There are always options. I believed for years I would be financially screwed (not helped with threats from my ex I wouldn't be able to afford to leave him), but honestly I'm able to pay for everything I need to and was grateful I could go full time. There are always ways.

I work Sunday, Mondays and Tuesdays. Yes I really want to be financially independent, I do have quite a good job but obviously won’t pay for everything..it’s childcare that is the issue really as it already costs me £500pm. I just don’t want to be scared for him to leave for that reason and I am going to do my best to get myself in a better position

I could increase my hours but wouldn’t be able to afford full time nursery for my 18month old DS…and I don’t really want him to go full time if I’m honest…I know if it comes to it he would have to. I could move into my mums for a brief period whilst I went back to education?

Why are you paying for nursery now? It should be a split cost

He pays the bills as he earns more

Yeah nursery is a joint cost. If you keep doing a Sunday you could do 4 days in nursery.

How old is DS?

It’s really annoying me that he says I live for free…He really thinks I wouldn’t cope without him and I don’t want to be in that position.

You would get a significant amount of universal credit help with childcare and likely other amounts too. You'll manage, don't let it hold you back.

@girlmom21 18months..I also have. 4 year old in school

Use the turn2us benefit calculator

It's not easy. I am going through divorce at the moment and desperately trying to stay in the family home with my dc as it's not huge (no spare bedroom) and is close to their school, etc. I am relyin gon my ex to take a smaller share of the equity and to be 'generous' i nhis maintenance payments so that at least until our youngest finishes school/college in 4 years time, we can stay here.

I work and receive UC and child benefit but it's still not enough on its own. My ex earns over 3 x what I do (because I went p/t to enable his career progression...and affair) so he can get a decent mortgage on his salary but I can't. I hate that I can't be completely financially independent but I tell myself I am in a better position than many women I see/hear about who don't work at all and then their marriages end.

Yes. I feel I stayed at home whilst he worked crazy hours to progress in his career. I’m just feeling quite vulnerable but I suppose all isn’t as bad as it seems and it will work out for me

This really is something you should have considered already