Avoiding getting shafted but still being fair.

[daffidoodledandy]

Looking for opinions on a fair split of house-selling proceeds.

Partner and I have reached the end of a hard relationship. We bought the house jointly about 7 years ago, just under £250k. Partner put down £90k deposit from his previous house, I was a first time buyer. He chose not to ring-fence his deposit.

The mortgage was calculated on my salary only because his wages were/are irregular. I paid moving costs, fixed his old boiler and simple redecoration on the old house to get it ready for sale, and bought new appliances for the new house. Over the years, I've also replaced the windows, had a new boiler, gas line and heating put in, and bought a new oven and washing machine.

On average, I pay £1000 into the joint account each month, though that sometimes goes up to £1500. He is meant to pay £400, but sometimes misses a month. In 2017, he didn't pay anything for the year when he was struggling with mental illness.

We don't have children. Not married. The house is estimated to be worth around £390k now.

How can we work out the best/ fairest way to split the money when we sell the house?

You're not talking half the deposit OP, you've already paid back your half. And some, by the sounds of it.

Would you be more comfortable with him getting his 90k back but you getting a larger portion of the remaining equity? Say 70:30 in your favour? Or 80:20 even

If you are uncomfortable with taking the 90k I can think this is the only way to make sure you don't get shafted too.

50/50 - if what you've paid in has matched this then he's just prepaid repaying you.

How much are you looking at if you go 50/50? Will he get at least £90k back? If so there's no need to feel guilty. He hasn't paid much more in than that and he managed 7 years spending much less than he would have living alone

@DuckyNoMates

50/50 - if what you've paid in has matched this then he's just prepaid repaying you.

Or you've been paying him back even.

He should get his 90k back then 50/50.

I think this would be really unfair to OP who paid more in other ways. If he gets back his deposit then the rest should be worked out in a rough few proportion of how much they paid each

I think you've both been bloody idiots.

Money sunk into a property that isn't yours is just... money sunk into a property that isn't yours... you cant really take that into account now.

Him getting his 90k back now then 50/50 on the profit is fair. Maybe if he was being kind he should have dropped to 80k to take into account your moving expenses but that needed to be agreed at point of purchase.

If you own the property 50/50, 50/50 is what the split is legally determined to be. But it really isn't you in danger of being shafted. He was stupidly generous when he bought the property.

If you dont want him, send him my way please....

50:50 best way of doing this after this length of time with the other variables

@Notagoodnight

I think you've both been bloody idiots.

Money sunk into a property that isn't yours is just... money sunk into a property that isn't yours... you cant really take that into account now.

Him getting his 90k back now then 50/50 on the profit is fair. Maybe if he was being kind he should have dropped to 80k to take into account your moving expenses but that needed to be agreed at point of purchase.

If you own the property 50/50, 50/50 is what the split is legally determined to be. But it really isn't you in danger of being shafted. He was stupidly generous when he bought the property.

If you dont want him, send him my way please....

You want her bloke who paid a massive deposit then £400 a month or less ever since towards living expenses and nothing towards essential home improvements?

Raise your bar.

For simplicity I'd go 50/50

@daffidoodledandy

We used the money I had saved for the deposit on all the house-moving expenses, so all the legal fees, making his old place fit to sell, estate agents, hiring movers, furniture and appliances etc, because it was available and not tied up in the mortgage process.

But I do struggle with the idea of ‘taking’ half of the deposit, though. That’s why I’m questioning what the ‘right’ thing to do would be.

I think that you need numbers to make this decision.

So he put in 90k,you paid legal fees, sorting his flat out totalling?

Work out when he paid nothing at all when you only paid the money. Literally list them all and go back through statements as far as can.

Add in the renovations etc of the current home.

If they're then equal, then yes 5050,if they're not then you need to lol at appropriate shares.

Atm it's all I think I paid this but no actual figures. It's easier to be less emotive when it's factual.

Crudely, based in 6 years of £400, he's paid £118800.

You've paid legal fees say 1k, and another 3k say on his flat moving etc. White goods say 2k.say 8k for heating, 3k for windows. So to be generous let's say 20k. Plus your monthly contribution makes 72k for 6 years of 1k contributions, and 1 year of 1.5k is 18k. So possibly 110000.

So personally I think that it's unlikely you have paid more in to really justify 5050,buf would think that a 40/45 versus 60/55 is possibly justified.

Though obviously, this is if he thinks that non mortgage/house costs should be included! Technically, I'd say they don't! That the only genuine costs that count are mortgage payments, and possibly home improvements if agreed. So whether you chose, when in a relationship to pay the burden of the water bill, was your choice and ultimately financial loss.

A really simplistic way of working it out is to assume that his deposit is his share of the house and he hasn't paid anything towards the mortgage.

Assuming your mortgage is approx £600 p/mth, you could argue that you've been paying that and you've both paid £400 p/mth each to cover the rest of the bills.

His initial deposit of £90k was 36% of the house value (possibly adjust it down slightly to offset the legal and refurbishment expenses that you've paid). On the current value of the house it would mean that he is due approx £140k.

You probably need a spreadsheet

Phew, lots to look through since last night!

I've started to write up some figures. They're not exact to the penny yet, but fairly accurate.

Total estimated payments by me: £116k

Monthly costs:

Mortgage 809
Energy 140
Council Tax 165
Insurances 25
Groceries/house 350

Total: 1489

I can see there is a lot of conflicting opinions on this, which is making me feel a bit better about feeling in two minds. I really don't want to screw HIM over, either, and want it to be fair to both of us. I've lacked backbone in the past and want to stand up for myself too.

@Notagoodnight, help yourself. Really... go on.

If you get 390 k them maybe something like he gets 120k and you get 100k

@daffidoodledandy

Phew, lots to look through since last night!

I've started to write up some figures. They're not exact to the penny yet, but fairly accurate.

Total estimated payments by me: £116k

Monthly costs:

Mortgage 809
Energy 140
Council Tax 165
Insurances 25
Groceries/house 350

Total: 1489

I can see there is a lot of conflicting opinions on this, which is making me feel a bit better about feeling in two minds. I really don't want to screw HIM over, either, and want it to be fair to both of us. I've lacked backbone in the past and want to stand up for myself too.

@Notagoodnight, help yourself. Really... go on.

But actually that's "only" 65k towards the house. The rest is living costs that you have chosen to supplement your ohs £400 contribution by £125 a month. That was your choice and what people in relationships do. So in my mind that is in real terms a 42% equity share of all the equity.

And 42% would give you approx 59k,so close to what you have actually contributed the house itself.

That, considering you'd have paid rent, isn't bad going imo. And it means that he loses about 10k.

Equally, he'd not be unreasonable to say, he'll take his 90k and the 50% of what's left. Which would give you 25k,which again isn't bad going either considering you had now ay of making the deposit and would have paid rent.

You win in all ways imo.

I think he should get slightly more back to account for the amount his initial 90k "investment" has grown over 7 years. However my rough calculations still put it at about 40% to you 60% to him.

Even though you arranged your finances at the time as his 90k all being deposit, and your savings all being moving fees and refurb costs etc, in reality both your amounts were "one pot" into which he put say 90k and you 20k or so?

Then you've paid the mortgage effectively.

So I think you would have a fair claim to 40-45% or so. That acknowledges his "extra" early investment.

I can see the points made by some other posters but I would still suggest 50/50.

Why? Because it is simple. Because he made an active choice not to ring fence the deposit. Because you made an active choice to support his living costs.

If you want to get seriously picky about it, then perhaps if he gets his 90k back, he should also pay back 50% of the costs that you have been paying (less the months he paid £400). It would be unfair for him to get the deposit back and still have been subsidized by you.

So, he gets the first £90k plus 50% of anything else less 50% of the expenses he didn’t pay while you were together including appliances and moving costs etc.

Or, he gets the first 90k plus 50% of anything else less £400 X months unpaid.

I do think 50/50 is still fair. You both benefit from the decisions you made in the past as a partnership.

But if you disagree, then you are going to need a serious spreadsheet with EVERY expense and bill accounted for. And remember, if he can go back on not ringfencing his 90k, you can go back on agreeing he only needed to pay £400 versus you £1000-1500 for living costs.

50/50 is looking pretty attractive in comparison to such a detailed spreadsheet now, isn’t it?

@DifficultBloodyWoman

I can see the points made by some other posters but I would still suggest 50/50.

Why? Because it is simple. Because he made an active choice not to ring fence the deposit. Because you made an active choice to support his living costs.

If you want to get seriously picky about it, then perhaps if he gets his 90k back, he should also pay back 50% of the costs that you have been paying (less the months he paid £400). It would be unfair for him to get the deposit back and still have been subsidized by you.

So, he gets the first £90k plus 50% of anything else less 50% of the expenses he didn’t pay while you were together including appliances and moving costs etc.

Or, he gets the first 90k plus 50% of anything else less £400 X months unpaid.

I do think 50/50 is still fair. You both benefit from the decisions you made in the past as a partnership.

But if you disagree, then you are going to need a serious spreadsheet with EVERY expense and bill accounted for. And remember, if he can go back on not ringfencing his 90k, you can go back on agreeing he only needed to pay £400 versus you £1000-1500 for living costs.

50/50 is looking pretty attractive in comparison to such a detailed spreadsheet now, isn’t it?

I disagree. Living costs are very different to housing costs. The op has chosen to subsidise his living costs. So that money is long gone and perhaps a lesson to the op for the future.

Neither of your choices were made in isolation.

If he had protected his deposit you may have been more savvy about your own finances. Therefore, it doesn’t make sense to say he gets to keep his deposit but the money you paid out is gone.

Either 50/50 or somewhere around the 40/60 mark that others have mentioned based on what you can agree is fair.

But the living costs INCLUDED the mortgage. What's to say that it wasn't OP paying the bulk of the mortgage, and the rest of the living costs were split?

Energy140
Council Tax165
Insurances25
Groceries/house350

Total: 680

Half is 340, so on the months that he managed to pay his full 400, he was only paying £60 into the mortgage. And that's before you consider the legal fees and moving costs that the OP paid.