To think there's something going on at his school?

[RedRuby152]

My nephew who's just turned 6 has recently been excluded for a few days and by what the school says he deserves it as through this year he's been throwing furniture, jumping on tables, hitting out at other children.

The issue is we look after him several times a week and whilst he's not perfect with us he's polite, thoughtful in his actions and of others feelings. He's generally happy and can get excited and doesn't get out of control the same as when he's sad, the moments he can have a wobble they last a minute or two but theres been no hint of throwing furniture or the like.

We obviously ask about it and he clams up. Hes gone from liking school to faking illness to try and stay home. There seems to be instances where because he now has a reputation a child has hurt him and he gets punished the same as the other child, and now even when he's good in the morning they take him out of the afternoon just in case he misbehaves so even when hes good he gets punished.

I'm not saying he's perfect but AIBU to think there's something happening at his school this year to make his behaviour so bad? how likely is it that he's so terrible at school but consistently does a 180 out of school for extended periods of time?

@User65412

Are you sure he's being taken out of class for an hour as punishment? That seems unusual at age 6. What's he doing in that hour? In my school, if we know a child finds the environment too stimulating and it will negatively impact their behaviour (which is often worse in the afternoon when there's less structure), they may be taken out for an hour to do a quiet activity they enjoy with a TA or a structured intervention that helps them with cope with different situations. What do the school say to his parents? Why do you look after him so much?

He was going to another teacher who made him do jobs but he LOVES doing jobs so he wasn't seeing it as a punishment. So now he's sitting in a corridor with nothing. As a teacher has said " they know he's bored as he's singing to himself".

We look after him due to his parents work schedules for an hour or two somedays

@Morph22010 @yellowbridgebang
Thanks for your replies. Very sad to hear similar situations. Every year I seem to have to explain again that he's unable to explain /speak up for himself in school. It's so frustrating. Good to hear your kids are happy now.

Got confused by the name change error.

The parents need to insist upon school acting appropriately in terms of identifying triggers and prevention rather than punishing him constantly.

My DD was a nightmare in R and first half of Y1 but with a lot of work on identifying the causes she is now doing amazingly. Simply punishing isn't enough to do anything meaningful towards change.

And to the PP said the problem is probably at home is at best ignorant and at worst down right nasty.

Sitting in a corridor with nothing is absolutely awful and I've never known a school do that to a child at primary let alone at just 6 years old. They would never get away with - the parents need to demand to see the head about that and the to talk through everything else to get him the help he needs.

My son struggled like this at primary school. It started in reception and carried on until he left primary. I was beside myself with worry for 7 years and the school and I tried everything to find out what was going on: educational psychologist, 121 help outside school, Thrive for 7 years in school, nothing seemed to help. He was wonderful in all the 121 sessions, then reverted back to being disuptive and rude in the classroom.

Now in the first year at secondary he's like a different child. He's bright, sociable, well behaved. I think primary was too claustrophobic for him - the same 30 kids in one crowded room every day for 7 years. As a PP said, the classrooms are overloaded with information on every square inch of wallspace.

At secondary he has a 1 mile walk uphill to school, the buidling is large, bright and airy, the lessons are more diverse (just endless bloody SATS maths and english at primary), he walks from class to class between lessons, different tutors throughout the day, different pupils in each class.
He seems to be in his element.
He still talks a lot and gets detentions but nothing like the trouble he got into in primary.

I really hope your lad settles soon. However, if he doesn't, try not to panic like I did. It could just be that primary is too much and he'll be better at secondary.