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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not enjoy holidays with babies / toddlers?

64 replies

Mountainbear · 20/03/2022 08:37

Planning to go away in September with a one year old and three year old and my DH really wants to go abroad.

Basically, I find holidays with small children stressful. You're away from home, without all of your baby stuff, their routine is disrupted, you're dragging them around all over the place, you can't go out in the evening etc. In no way is it really relaxing.

So, how do I make it better? If you enjoy holidays with little ones, what is your secret??

I'm thinking of trying somewhere a short flight away, but which is still warm in September and has nice beaches / national parks, but also interesting places to visit - they're too young for lots of kiddy attractions, but somewhere with a nice aquarium, museum, archaeological remains, caves etc., would be good. Thinking about Mallorca and wondering whether to try one of those all inclusive resorts with a splash park, play area, kids' club etc., or whether it'll just be horrendous and we'd be better off with a villa / air bnb??

Any suggestions welcome.

Also, I do know I'm very lucky to be able to go on holiday, and I am grateful.

OP posts:
Classicblunder · 20/03/2022 16:49

We love self catering - as it keeps our kids on a routine, don't have to share a room with them, have more private space.

Usually we eat out with the kids at lunchtime and then just gave a light meal like cheese and wine and snacks for dinner

whoruntheworldgirls · 20/03/2022 16:57

All inclusive with a good kids pool, kids club that take younger ones, the Tui family holidays usually do, though we had to pay a bit extra for this because of the extra training they have.
Flight lots of snacks, crayola magic pens and paper are great as no risk of going everywhere, tablet with cartoons/kids games (sago mini games are good)
It's not the same as pre kids but i love going away with my 5yr old.
She will do archeological sites etc as long as only for a morning before the main heat of the day, plus she wants the afternoon in the pool! An ice cream bribe always helps too Grin

grey12 · 20/03/2022 16:58

Personally I have enjoyed holidays with the kids 🤷🏻‍♀️ but they are holidays geared a lot towards them. We like showing them things, it's lovely seeing their excitement at things that seem mundane to us and vice versa Grin

Bringonsummer19 · 20/03/2022 17:00

Oh it always felt so much hard work at that point. Mine are both over 4 now and it’s a complete game changer

Papayamya · 20/03/2022 17:04

I think once you don't expect it to be a relaxing holiday as was before children it helps look for suitable places and resorts. Personally I don't find holidays worse with children, we have been fortunate to have some amazing ones; but yes definitely different rather than necessarily better or worse. Could you go for a longer UK holiday to start with (although probably be more expensive!)? We've just looked for hotels or apartments with stuff like the cot already there, and then it's just a case of taking clothes etc- if we take toys it's just a small bag of favourites rather than carting loads about and it's always been fine. We've always opted for a room with a balcony and taken the baby monitor so we can sit and have some drinks when they're in bed, enjoying the weather whilst knowing they're safe. Some nights we've just thrown reckless abandon to usual routine at night though and taken the stroller down in case he gets tired. Loads of tips online, have a look around and im sure can agree on one!

Doodar · 20/03/2022 17:06

Definitely AI or full board. A good kids club is a bonus too, When Dc's were little we hired the same babysitter every day for them while they napped, gave us 2-3 hours child free time. Kids had dinner about 7pm then the same babysitter came 8-11 and we went out.
They spent hours in the pool, always took a plastic tea set to play with, then a long walk on the beach looking for shells before sundown.

Frenchie8690 · 20/03/2022 17:09

My tips:

  • Always go somewhere sunny. Stuck in rainy Wales with a bored 2 year old was like pulling teeth.
  • hotel rather than villa, less faffing around with finding a supermarket, cooking etc
  • check kids club/crèche ages. When ours were small we always sought out the ones with childcare that started from 3 months old so we could have a break
  • book a babysitter one or two evenings so you can have an adult dinner too
FreezyFreezy · 20/03/2022 17:27

We've never been abroad with our dc; we've always been on short caravan holidays at the coast with them and have actually really enjoyed them. They are cheap, they have separate bedrooms and living areas so you don't have to sit in silence as they sleep and they often have a veranda type thing where you can sit out in the evening whilst they are in bed. We always do simple things like a day on the beach or a wander through the town or even a trip to the arcades and the rides and then gone back to the caravan when they get tired (not so much of a problem now they're older) which cuts down on the stropping.

DSGR · 20/03/2022 17:34

I love holidays with my kids and never understand why people find it stressful! Guaranteed sunshine abroad, different food and beaches, the kids love it…

Phineyj · 20/03/2022 17:43

We found a lovely gite in Brittany through Tots to Travel when DD was between those ages. Pool, trampoline, chickens, play barn stuffed with toys and an owner who babysits! PM me and I'll send the name. Short drive from St Malo ferry or fly to Rennes and rent car.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 20/03/2022 17:50

Hmmm I think quite differently tbh 🙈 but i agree it’s deffo not the same as it was before

But I love it - we took our 1 year old to Spain last year and we just let her routine go to shit, took her out in the Pram just when she was due to sleep and hope she’d fall asleep on route (she did half the time) and we sometimes could enjoy the meal in peace - and sometimes we got to have a drink on the way home if she was in good form

Then some mornings she actually slept in late some morning she was up super early

We just took turns getting up

We also took turns having time by the pool and one of us would sit up in the room with her during her naps (and also nap half the time).

At night when she was in bed we would have a drink on the balcony or in the living room of the apartment

She absolutely loved the pool and the beach

It felt like a holiday to me and I really enjoyed it

We are taking her to Greece and Japan this year (if japan ever opens up to tourists that is!)

But if you don’t enjoy holidays with them then I guess don’t do it

Ylvamoon · 20/03/2022 17:58

I have always taken DC abroad. The biggest hurdle are airports. Busy, noisy and not very child friendly!
We managed to have a few dinners out, simply by putting DC into the buggy for sleeping.

(The only child friendly airport I have been to was Zurich... they have a nursery type room for babies & toddlers. Lovely helpful staff that will tell you when your flight is called. Clean and tidy play room and a separate bedroom with a few cots ... that was 10 years ago.)

reluctantbrit · 20/03/2022 18:00

We always went on holiday with DD, I didn't even think about not going.

We preferred self catering at a younger age as DD was a no-go for going out for dinner in the evening and I didn't want to eat at 6pm. I also said no to sharing a hotel room with her. She was an early riser, 7am was a lie-in and it was a lot easier getting her a small breakfast and then we did a bigger one at a more reasonable time. Not possible in a hotel where the restaurant isn't opening unitl 8am.

Either a villa on our own or an appartment in a complex where there are other. children she played with.

We moved to AI when she was 7, she stayed up longer without having a meltdown in the morning. But we never were big AI/resort people before DD was born so it wasn't that we missed cocktails at the pool.

You. learn to take only the really necessary bits, we took some toys but you make do and going. to Spain or Greece means good weather and not really the need for lots of things to do indoor.

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 20/03/2022 18:12

I never went abroad with children when they were tiny. A cottage in the UK where we could pack everything into a car along with their toys was much easier. In all honesty, I've only just started viewing holidays as holidays now the children are at school and have that independence.

TheBestSpoon · 20/03/2022 18:19

We've never been into beach holidays, so we've always gone for city breaks, but not tried to pack in too much sightseeing and added in plenty of playground time.

Two things that really helped were getting an Air BnB with separate sleeping areas for kids so we could chill after they were asleep and not trying to move them to the time difference - Greece worked really well for this as the two hour time difference meant usual 8pm bedtime was 10pm, so we could all go out for a nice dinner and then sleep in in the morning without any issues of fiddling with routines. I know a lot of PP said they were more flexible with routine, but we really found it best to try to keep it as similar as possible for everyone's sanity - YMMV! But still, it's never going to be as go-with-the-flow as pre kids - we just tried to think of it as a different kind of trip altogether.

Original poster
Mountainbear · 20/03/2022 19:27

Thanks for all the comments and tips so far.

I think part if the issue is that we've never really been beach / pool holiday people. We like a bit of that, but we've always been more into sightseeing, visiting places, hiking etc. - all of which are much more difficult / stressful with kids.

The other thing which stresses me out is all the stuff they need - cutlery, sippy cups, baby monitors, sleeping bags, books, a few toys, bibs, white noise machine etc.

I think maybe we just need to slow down a it - be a bit more selective with visits / activities, make sure we both get some relaxing child-free time. I think a vilka / air bnb will probably suit us better - more space, plus the reviews of the food at all inclusive hotels seem pretty variable, and the kids clubs only seem to be from 4 years onwards, so no good for us.

OP posts:
NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 19:33

We used to Google top things to do with kids for each place we visited and base a day around one of the places/activities. Giving each other some child free time is a good idea.

RussianSpy101 · 20/03/2022 19:36

Don’t overthink it! I’ve never, ever taken our own cutlery abroad. Cups and books can go in hand luggage and are also handy for the plane. Toys you can easily take too. Bibs will be very easy to pack.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 20/03/2022 19:46

Portugal is ideal in September and short flight. You'll find you don't do your normal routine and that's ok, go with how they seem. Don't push things to be exactly like they are at home.

RedPanda901 · 20/03/2022 20:06

Go abroad with kids while they are under school age as you'll be shocked at the prices you have to pay once they're at school and you can only go away during school holidays!

Favourodds · 20/03/2022 20:08

The other thing which stresses me out is all the stuff they need - cutlery, sippy cups, baby monitors, sleeping bags, books, a few toys, bibs, white noise machine etc.

But they don't really need loads of this stuff... Cutlery - I just give her a teaspoon or let her wield a regular fork. Sippy cup - same, get them drinking from normal cups. Sleeping bag - just use a hotel blanket, they're both big enough to be safe. Etc etc.

Life is as hard as you make it.

Skyeheather · 20/03/2022 20:30

You won't need a baby monitor if you're all sleeping in the same room. You won't need a white noise machine, they'll be plenty of background noise coming from the other rooms. You don't need toys the beach shops sell plenty of stuff you can buy when you get there and at the kids pool it will be full of everyone else's toys already, most kids are happy to share. We have various inflatable things that we been gifted by other holiday makers not wanting to take them home. All the AI hotels I've stayed in have plastic plates and cutlery (if there's a separate kids area in the restaurant there definitely will be), just take a couple of sippy cups in your suitcase. You only need a couple of sleeping bags per child surely?

Curiosity101 · 20/03/2022 20:48

I know people have already said this but...
Cutlery - Can probably make do with spoons and hands for the 1 year old, the 3 year old will presumably be ok with adult sized cutlery
Sippy cups - 1 each shouldn't be an issue, we always take a sports bottle for each of us as adults anyway as we like to carry water without constantly buying bottled water
Baby monitors - You could leave the doors open? Presumably the 1 year old will be in a travel cot and the 3 year old will be big enough to open the doors anyway. Eitherway I'd pop the 1 year old in with you and then no need for any monitors
Sleeping bags - You should only need 1, I'd guess your 3 y/o is using a blanket/duvet now? And the 1 year old could use a blanket if needed if the sleeping bag got soiled
Books - Load digital versions onto your phone/tablet?
A few toys - Buy a suvenier or two on day one? Our 2.5 year old had a helium balloon from Disney which gave him hours and hours of entertainment
Bibs - Yep, fair enough but they don't take up much room. Also you can get disposable ones if you want space in the case
White noise machine - Load an app on your phone/tablet and use that instead

We're very active on holiday - if you want to get out and about then baby carriers are you friends! Back carrying your 1 y/o and 3 y/o will give you lots of freedom combined with other more child friendly activities.

silkypillows · 20/03/2022 21:00

Take grandparents, if possible. We are currently on holiday for a month and this is our second month long break since having DS2 (5mo). Taking the PIL is honestly life changing for holidays.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/03/2022 21:02

@Mountainbear

Thanks for all the comments and tips so far.

I think part if the issue is that we've never really been beach / pool holiday people. We like a bit of that, but we've always been more into sightseeing, visiting places, hiking etc. - all of which are much more difficult / stressful with kids.

The other thing which stresses me out is all the stuff they need - cutlery, sippy cups, baby monitors, sleeping bags, books, a few toys, bibs, white noise machine etc.

I think maybe we just need to slow down a it - be a bit more selective with visits / activities, make sure we both get some relaxing child-free time. I think a vilka / air bnb will probably suit us better - more space, plus the reviews of the food at all inclusive hotels seem pretty variable, and the kids clubs only seem to be from 4 years onwards, so no good for us.

Honestly you’re way over thinking it- apart from own cot sheets and their drinking cups, I’ve never schleped all that other stuff. A good all inclusive has a great kids section in the dining rooms, cutlery, plates, etc- you won’t need a sleeping bag in hot weather, you won’t need a white noise machine- honestly you sound a bit too rigid !