To be so lonely

[Jenna19871]

I’m the sort of person who gets on with people in general, but I’m so bloody lonely.

I have friends but they’re 100s of miles away and busy with their own lives. This is another weekend of me sitting alone at home watching TV and wondering if I’ll ever have a social life again.

Reading x

At least I have my cat I guess! She’s comfy sitting on my lap every evening

What's stopping you from making friends locally? I am home alone this evening (by choice) but there's plenty going on locally if I wanted to go out - a music concert, Am Dram theatre show - just as a couple of examples, plenty of pubs showing the rugby etc. It sounds hard but no one is going to come knocking on my door asking me to be their friend, I need to make the effort. I have a volunteering project arranged for tomorrow where I will meet like minded people.

Sorry to hear this. Have you thought about taking up a hobby? That's a good way to meet people locally. Or even join your local W.I - it's not just for old ladies! :-)

Thanks @Ragwort I like the volunteering idea! I feel like it’d be really awkward to go to my local pub on my own! It’s only a 5 minute walk but wouldn’t everyone think why is that sad woman hanging out by herself 😂

I suppose it depends on the pub . Also agree with trying out the WI, I belong to WI and have moved around a lot but always join when I move to a new area.

Join meet up.com it’s a bit of a needle in a haystack thing but there are some other normal people there that you might like to hang out with and then you basically run off together and leave the group

It's really hard isn't it. I think friendships come naturally to some people and not to others. I moved to a new area 15 years ago, its been very difficult to make connections. I finally made 2 friends, had a lovely few years with them socially but they've now fallen out with eachother and ones ghosted me. I haven't got the energy to start again. It shouldn't be this difficult.

It sounds like you want to make connections though. Have a look at wild women wanderers on Facebook (if you like being outdoors).

I mean.. YABU, you have to get out and make a social life or how else is it going to happen?

I do know it’s hard to do, but the more you do it the easier it will be. Find out what is happening locally and start trying things that appeal. It takes time to make friends, so I think it’s better to focus on things that interest you, so they will hold your attention while you are getting to know people - but you should get acquaintances pretty I quickly.

Do you have a long distance partner, or are you also looking for that?

I will try the WI! I also should try to catch up with people who have invited me to do things, like my neighbour asked if I want to hang out with him and his girlfriend and try the new brewery! Just feel a bit socially awkward

@GoLightly282 I’ll have a look at wild women wanderers as I love to be out and about (hiking/running badly and slowly)

@Luredbyapomegranate I do have a partner, he’s at the rugby tonight and will be home later! He’s always trying to boost my confidence and encouraging me to do new things and meet people. It’s on me 100% that I haven’t

Hi op yes hiking/walking are great. Its not easy. I met 2 others through walking not the best time 6.10 but gets me out house. I feel if I dont do things now my 50s will be lonely. Kids older now here

Well at least you have friends and a partner that’s more than a lot of people, if you want friends local put in the effort

It’s hard to start but once you get going it will get easier.

Join library if you have one, they will have info about local events & groups

Join some local groups or sport

Look on local Facebook

You have to make the effort to get out there

Best advice my friend gave me was - try something & if you don't like it, try something else

Some pubs & social clubs do quiz nights, comedy nights, music nights, knit & natter clubs, book clubs, board game etc