To be irritated by Helena Morrissey backtracking now

[PurpleHollyhocks]

Apologies for the Mail link but I can’t quite believe that after years of saying ‘oh this was nothing to me’, she is now saying ‘eh it was hard and I have to loads’

I mean that’s the reality for any man or woman in a very senior role, you give a huge amount of your home life and to pretend otherwise was utterly misleading. I don’t judge her or anyone else for making that decision, if I had her talent I might have done the same but at least be honest about how it’s achieved.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10628799/HELENA-MORRISSEY-wish-hadnt-helped-create-myth-easy-women-all.html

‘Give up loads’ apologies, typing too quickly

Yes I agree this is irritating and has contributed to the overall pressure women feel to be perfect at everything when returning to work. However I can't get past the nine children aspect. Don't think I would be able to cope with nine whether I worked outside the home or not!

A Tory telling lies should be no surprise to anyone.

She seems very obsessed with having blonde children.

@JanisMoplin

She seems very obsessed with having blonde children.

Yes I noticed that. Why was it necessary for her to mention the hair colour?

Why anyone ever fell for the "you can have it all " myth that these types perpetuated is beyond me
You can't
If you have a decent partner and are lucky you can have a lot but having it all is impossible
It's like the glossy instagrammers today
What you see is the shiny veneer and nothing like reality

I admire Helena Morrisey .however I find it irritating as you say when high power women like her say it was so difficult when her children are raised and she is past the grind stage.new talented women need to feel she is their role model. Not to be focusing on the negative downside .although I doubt many women will want 9 children even if sahms!

I have taken the time to read this article and she comes across as a deeply self absorbed, insecure, vacuous woman.

Not someone I would admire in a million years.

Spitting out children like it's a sport to prove a point.

Pure vanity is what I got from that article and liar to boot.

No one forced her to have nine children and no one forced her to lie about it either.

That is all on her, completely her choice to be a liar IMO.

I think anyone choosing to have 9 kids should be 🙄 at. Especially when they say how hard it is, who cares? It was your choice. Really irritated by her.

Thank you for posting. I was in her industry so she is known to me and she used to amaze me how she could do her job plus having all those children.

Yes there might be strange remarks about the blonde children although I have those thoughts each time I see the fairy advert with a perfectly dressed mum, clean etc - the opposite to me most days - ie tonight my jeans are good splattered.

What is good to read is she finally admits it wasn't easy.

I suppose when you have a large family there is pressure that goes along with that to not complain, same as if your a very young mother (or perhaps even a much older mother) then I really think you can feel there is judgement against you already and if your seem to ‘complain’ or don’t portray a perfect picture then you’ll be doubly criticised. Couple that with being in a very cut throat career where you’ve probably got multiple people gunning for your job, your a manager, chairing up meetings, departments etc and so your needing to maintain an image. She’s probably just in a more secure place career wise now and eligible to retire if she wanted to/forced into that position. Plus she’ll of now had time to reflect now they are all growing up. When she was always surrounded by little children I suppose your just getting through each day but once they’ve all grown you perhaps think you wished you’d had chance to stop and enjoy them a bit more. Plus as she said she reflected on the pressure it created for other women as people will have looked at it and thought if she can manage it why do other mothers say it’s so hard. People live and learn and I think it’s good and useful that they are able to talk about that

I found it an annoying article. First of all her background, upbringing is one of privilege and is not typical and therefore not achievable for most people:

She grew up in an affluent area

She got into Oxbridge - good on her but obviously most people don't and it probably gave her job opportunities most wouldn't get

She met her husband at uni - she didn't spend her 20s going out on dates /meeting potential partners, therefore freeing up time on her career.

Her husband became the primary care giver. Good on him and her for coming to the conclusion that she would be the major breadwinner - this is essentially a gender role reversal to most families I know.

They have staff - this is a big one, the women I know who have kept on the same career trajectory pre and post children have all had nannies for childcare (not nurseries). That means that they had to be earning an awful lot of money (over £100k) before they started having babies - this is simply not achievable for most women.
They also have cleaners.

This woman is obviously hard working, clever and literally 1 in 66 million. She is a role model of sorts but being held up as a 'woman can have it all' - she is definitely not.

@Pipsquiggle I don’t agree on her background - from what I understand her parents were teachers, that is hardly very privileged. Also provided you have the ability then oxbridge is a possibility. Harder if you are in the ‘wrong’ school or background but not impossible.

Regarding her husband, perhaps she had the foresight for what she wanted in a partner that few of us had at that age.

I don’t think we can take away from her that her achievements are her own, I just found the assertion that she could do all this and be a very involved mother disingenuous and it’s annoying that she’s only now decided to burst that bubble

I find her hugely irritating in general tbh. I’m some ways she reminds me of that awful love island woman who claimed everyone has the same 24 hours in the day and we could all be just as successful as her if we just worked harder. She’s very self promoting and “a personality” far more than any man doing the same kind of job.

She was my role model for so long. And I wondered how she did it. Now we know. Lots of help and a stay at home dad and now she admits missing out on so much much.
I feel sold a lie really.

I do wonder just how supportive she was of women in junior positions - not the ones she'd want in boardrooms, the ones doing the admin, struggling to get kids on buses to childminders, not having a 'wife', ie, a very well paid husband working freelance from home and a nanny (and probably cleaner, gardener, PA, etc) all taking most of the daily work off her.

No idea if she was actually the dream boss or whether she was an 'I've got NINE children and I'm NEVER late, you should rethink whether you have the ability to continue in your role' - but it would be interesting to know if she actually helped those women as well as the 'admirable' ones.

I don't blame her actually for trying to make it all sound easy. She was working in a very male dominated industry and fighting for recognition and advancement. When people are handling billions of pounds, no one around them wants to hear that they're struggling to cope and are missing their children. She would definitely not have made in it the 1990s if she'd behaved like that. In recent times it's become acceptable, if not the in thing, to say you've got mental health problems and you're struggling to cope and need help. So it's easy for her to come out and say that now. It even helps her career in politics to sound like she's sympathetic to others.
But I have no doubt that if she was working her way up and saying was struggling even today, she'd be side-shunted, because ultimately when you're paying someone millions to do a job, you don't expect them to see them in magazines complaining how hard their life is.