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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the social comparison of house price boasting / general house price chat?

28 replies

Hellooooo754 · 19/03/2022 11:15

I love the London neighbourhood I live in, but I’ve been aware for some time that it’s ritzier than I am and that I can’t really afford to stay here.

I do a running group with a bunch of local women (who I like but have definitely got more disposable income than me) and the conversation this morning turned to property prices. Boasts about x house selling for x INSANE price, how another woman’s house is now worth x equally insane price.

I’m sick of the chat. It makes me feel shit because it’s money I don’t have. And it makes me feel shit because it doesn’t impress me, it depresses me because the money is absurd. It makes me feel like I don’t belong.

I usually come back from my running club feeling great (I have wobbly - albeit well hidden - MH), but now I just feel so flat.

Am I being unreasonable to absolutely loathe the house price chat?!

And why do London interlopers (it’s usually those who are fresh-ish to this area) talk about it so goddamn much?! (Tbf I was at a party in another expensive part of SE England and the chat focussed on house prices there, too!).

OP posts:
IamnotSethRogan · 19/03/2022 11:18

I understand how annoying it is, however the market is absolutely crazy ATM, especially and always in London so I can see why some people do find it interesting to talk about

malificent7 · 19/03/2022 11:19

Yanbu...it's very distasteful. You have more class than the lot of them!

Iamthewombat · 19/03/2022 11:25

Yes, it’s deeply tiresome. Who gives a sh!t how much someone’s house is supposedly worth? It’s because they can’t stop themselves from boasting.

Thecurtainsofdestiny · 19/03/2022 11:27

That doesn't sound like fun at all!

Have never discussed house prices with anyone - just not usual here to do so- and it does sound tiresome.

Cinnabomb · 19/03/2022 11:29

That’s London for you…

GeneGenie123 · 19/03/2022 11:48

Wet talk a lot about the housing market but not necessarily prices. We are in the process of selling & buying so it’s usually in relation to that. It’s all relative anyway, so what you sell for you then go on to buy at the equally inflated price. It’s happening in the whole of the south east.

Malteser71 · 19/03/2022 11:50

Are you sure it’s boasting?

I thought my house was worth £625k. My neighbour just sold for £625k and their house is much, much smaller and in need of renovation.

I’m astonished by this, and interested because (a) who is supposed to afford this? (b) i don’t know whether it’s a reflection of lack of similar properties on the market and (c) it looks as though my house is worth a lot more than I thought, and I wonder if it’s a good time to sell!

None of that is boasting. It’s conversation.

Cookiecrumblepie · 19/03/2022 11:56

It’s something apolitical that people can talk about, I wouldn’t take it personally. You can only talk about the weather and food for so long. What else do people have in common that won’t cause an argument?

Missushbb · 19/03/2022 11:56

i know what you mean OP. i'm not in London but another city, and yes the chat can always turn to house prices, i find, only if i'm with people from my area, e.g. mums i've met at toddler groups etc. my work friends or friends i've had for years wouldn't really talk about house prices unless someone was actually buying! think sometimes it just a common topic if you live in the same area. don't let it put you off your running group.

DaveGrohl · 19/03/2022 11:58

I hope you’re not in my running group and I’ve been a dick - having recently bought a house I could be guilty of this. Sorry! Blush

Hummingbirdcake · 19/03/2022 12:04

YANBU.

SylvanianFrenemies · 19/03/2022 12:14

YANBU. However, we are trying to buy at the moment, and I am guilty of this. It is hard not to be obsessed and constantly trying to make sense of things. A house we were interested in sold for 44% over the offers over price. Yes, I did talk about this and the figures involved, it was hard not to! Sorry on behalf of housing bores everywhere.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 19/03/2022 12:15

That’s London for you…

Bollocks! There are crass people everywhere. I’m London born and bred. Own a home and never had these conversations with friends even once in nearly four decades of living here. I’m not dodging them, though I would, it’s never come up in casual conversation. Only ever discussed one to one if a friend or family member was trying to buy and never boasting at all.

FleurDeLizz · 19/03/2022 12:18

The market is absolutely nuts right now so I’m not surprised they want to talk about it. They don’t mean anything by it I’m sure

DetailMouse · 19/03/2022 12:21

Sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe. I have never, ever had a conversation IRL that included the value of someone's home. Even people currently in the process of buying/selling don't mention actual figures. If house prices are mentioned it's in the context of "how will DC ever get to buy?"

Botanica · 19/03/2022 12:21

Your projecting your own issues and insecurities here.

House prices and the property market as a whole matters a huge amount to many people - understanding the market dynamics and how to best ride the peaks and troughs is a skill central to managing one's financial situation throughout life. And yes, for many it is actually quite interesting to observe and speculate.

No-one likes a property boaster but if it's just general chit chat then perhaps you just haven't found your people in the club. I'd just listen and nod politely and then move the conversation on when you have the chance.

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/03/2022 12:25

It’s v v boring
It’s just because it’s easy chit chat and the prices are genuinely gobsmacking

Just change the subject? I live in a tiny flat in london, I have friends with big houses but I can (mostly) avoid these conversations and I think people are happy to talk about something else

Afan · 19/03/2022 12:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Retrievemysanity · 19/03/2022 12:35

We’re in the midlands so it’s not just London. But if you’re buying and/selling, it is an interesting topic of conversation, it’s not necessarily boasting. Certainly round here it’s more a ‘can you believe this went for this much’ kind of chat.

Original poster
Hellooooo754 · 19/03/2022 12:38

@Malteser71

Are you sure it’s boasting?

I thought my house was worth £625k. My neighbour just sold for £625k and their house is much, much smaller and in need of renovation.

I’m astonished by this, and interested because (a) who is supposed to afford this? (b) i don’t know whether it’s a reflection of lack of similar properties on the market and (c) it looks as though my house is worth a lot more than I thought, and I wonder if it’s a good time to sell!

None of that is boasting. It’s conversation.

I think it’s a mix between shock - genuinely surprisingly expensive - and stealth boasting
OP posts:
FleurDeLizz · 19/03/2022 12:38

@Afan

The market is absolutely nuts. That phrase give me estate agent hype. So ridiculous. I’m with you OP. Give it a rest (born and bred Londoner too)
Whether you find it ridiculous or not it’s true certainly in the South East
JellyfishandShells · 19/03/2022 12:44

Wouldn’t have a chat about how much my own or individuals’ houses are ‘worth’ are but the completely dotty pricing of a local large building into 6 fancily fitted out but otherwise not attractive 2 bed flats was a subject of ‘who the hell is that aimed at ? ‘ conversations. To realise how mad needed an understanding of comparative prices in the area and the demographic profile now and more recently.

That kind of conversation amongst people who already own in an area isn’t boasting and I haven’t ever come across ‘ooh, look at me and my expensive house ‘ vulgarians.

Littlecaf · 19/03/2022 12:49

Sometimes I find these type of conversations a bit tone deaf - house prices in our large SE village have gone bonkers recently - a friend has been looking to move within the village and has offered on a 3 bed doer upper for £900k. She commented unprompted to me if we had looked a moving - I scoffed internally! I think some people just don’t realise that other don’t have that much money (or don’t want to get into that much debt!)

cigarettesNalcohol · 19/03/2022 12:53

Completely understand you op. I have the same problem with my cousin and his wife - he (and it's always him) is constantly boasting about his cars, his house price, expensive gadgets & watches, luxury holidays, private schools, big extensions, how much they earnt this quarter (lol) - it's all he EVER talk about. Every. Single. Time. And it's draining. He never asks a question about us. Always steers the conversation towards money, only interested in boasting about himself.

I have a lovely life and home, we are not hard up. I have everything I need, health, lovely marriage, no debt etc. I'm happy. He doesn't impress me & I'm not materialistic BUT each time we get home after seeing them, I feel down for a couple of days because he makes me feel like utter shit, makes me feel like my life is shit.

After a few days I forget about him and feel happy again. But some people just have a way of getting under your skin. I see him a few times a year, usually with other family members around so I can avoid him (although I can hear him boasting into someone else's ear loudly from across the room, he does it to everyone Hmm).

Thatswhyimacat · 19/03/2022 12:54

The more depressing thing is when someone's 5 bedroom 3 bathroom in Liverpool costs less than my 1 bed flat in not even central London!

None of my circle talk about these things, it isn't the done thing, but if people are comfortable talking about financial stuff I generally think good for them, it's still a bit taboo but can be beneficial for people to discuss, but of course some people just like to boast, if it wasn't house prices it would be something else.