Why cant I do it?

[Largebutnotincharge]

I've always been overweight but not this bloody big. I'm obese and cannot stick to any sort of healthy eating plan.

I'm so frustrated with myself.

I have about 4 and a half stone to lose to get me into the top end of the healthy weight category. I know that when I reach for a chocolate bar or order a takeaway that I'll regret it but I do it anyway!! I eat u untill i feel sick and can have at least two large chocolate bars a day and then a massive takeaway on top. I dont know why i do it to myself. Is anyone else the same? I feel so pathetic! I'm making myself miserable but can't seem to stop stuffing my disgusting face!

Has anyone else managed to turn their lives around and if so, how did you do it?

Sorry it's not an AIBU but busiest board!!

So it sounds like you’ve got an all or nothing mentality, so when you fall off the wagon you’re like ah well I’ve slipped now I might as well binge. This is the first thing that needs to change.
Number 2, would you be open to some counselling to maybe help you understand some of your food triggers and help you break the hinge cycle.
Number 3 you need to think of it as a lifestyle change. Small Gradual changes that work along side you resolving your emotional issues with food that lead you to binge. Choosing leaner cuts of meat, changing how you cook, swapping to skim milk, whole meal bread, whatever you’re having add extra veg and reduce the carb portion size slightly, Look into healthier choices when eating out.
4) take foods off the naughty list. There’s no such thing as bad foods the only thing that’s bad is your relationship with them. So if you fancy a donut one day, have to, savour it. It won’t make you fat. You just don’t have it every day or you make adjustments to your other meals.

Some studies have shown vlcd work as they produce rapid results and people are motivated to keep going but In your case if you feel like you fall off the wagon and feel bad. I’d avoid them.

Don’t focus on exercise right now, you can’t out train a bad diet. Chose the stairs and walk the long way home sure but don’t put emphasis on ‘working out’

Yes I agree, I can be a bit all or nothing. Counselling is a good idea. I have no idea why I'm so weird about food. I absolutely HATE being hungry. I wasn't starved as a child or anything. I just dont seem to be satisfied with feeling not hungry, I have to be full to bursting!

I've wrote a shopping list and included meals that I know will have leftovers so I can use them for lunch the next day. Will make use of my slow cooker aswell as I HATE cooking with a passion.

Thanks everyone xx

written or wrote neither looks right as you can see I'm not very good with words either 😂

@Largebutnotincharge

Thanks for your replies.

I don't think it's the amount of weight that's overwhelming, it's the fact that I cant seem to stop myself making bad choices as pathetic as that sounds. I have 0 will power and I'm so frustrated.

I’m exactly the same. I swore I didn’t want to overweight in my forties but was. The at 48 I swore I’d do something about it and be slim for 50. Here I am 3 months later and still overweight. I can’t stick to anything. I don’t eat a lot at all, health, regular sized portions. it’s just the sweet things that are my downfall.

Do you think you might have binge eating disorder OP? There are support sites and counselling that can help if so, my friend had the same cycle of wanting to lose weight but eating foods she didn't even want necessarily but felt compelled to eat until she felt sick. She gave up smoking years before addressing her eating and said she found not eating the chocolate she didn't really logically want to eat was a more uncontrollable urge than the one to smoke when cutting down on nicotine! She joined an online support group after years of failed diets and after addressing the underlying cause she has lost 6 stone and can now have a reasonable amount of all foods without going over the top. Maybe worth considering?

You sound very similar to me OP. I lost a lot of weight (over 8 stone) by following a low carb high fat diet for over 2 years. But when the weight loss stalled I fell off the wagon and I've been struggling to get back on properly ever since. For me it's a mindset thing, I have to have something click in my head and suddenly following a healthy lifestyle just makes sense and is easy. But the click has only happened twice in my life.

I love low carb high fat, however sometimes I wish I could just eat like a "normal" person e.g have the occasional chocolate bar, pack of crisps etc as a treat without it leading to full on binges. I teach my children that no food is unhealthy as long as you eat it as part of a balanced diet, but I can't take that approach myself as I have "trigger foods" that lead to binging and if I have something off plan I throw the baby out with the bathwater and binge for the rest of the day.

I don't know what the answer is, counselling maybe, but I wouldn't even know where to start. Sorry, this is not a helpful post at all, but at least you know you're not the only one.

I've never really thought about a binge eating disorder but could have a read about it.

See I can cope without snacking in the day but I have to have giant portions with my meals and then always fancy a 'little' sweet treat which is usually a share bar or chocolate that o eat to myself. Eastee is round the corner and I'm dreasing my little one having easter eggs in the house as they're my favourite!

I think I need to try and get a grip. I'm a grown woman, a mother and dont want my little one thinking that being this way is okay. I also smoke cigarettes and am desperate to quit but i know that doing both is virtually impossible. I'm hoping that the more weight I lose and the more energy I gain will help me look at the fags as the disgusting things that they are and just quit.

See I stopped smoking cold Turkey when I was pregnant and ate quite healthily whilst pregnant so only gained actual baby weight but that was because I HAD too. I had no choice as I was growing another human. So I know that I can do it but I just need somthing to 'click' inside my head.

Ahhh thank you for reading my rambles. All of the advice is interesting and I will take it on board.

Yep i could of wrote that too at! Sat here now thinking what I should have for breakfast. Need to start the day healthy and stick to it. Going away in about 9 weeks and want to be a little slimmer. Where do I start??? So hard 😫

@DarkCorner

I had a friend in a similar position and she went to overeaters anonymous and got lots of help and support that way. Diets had never ever worked for her. OA meant she had to go cold turkey on any "trigger foods" but just eat normally and she has been a stable weight (size 12) for ages now.

If that's not for you, maybe try low carb - it means certain foods are just not available and it quickly stops you feeling hungry yet you can still eat lots and feel satisfied.

basically this.

Some people have a psychological addition to eating and it sounds like you are one of them. It’s not your fault. No diet will fix this, you have to work on your head.

OA isn’t the only way of tackling this, but it’s worth trying to see if it works for you. Otherwise Shahroo Izadis The Last Diet is a more behavioural approach.

You will need to adjust your eating of course, but tackling your mental state is the first thing.

Oh no so many spelling errors. If you can read that, well done to you!

Another vote for gastric sleeve abroad.

Life changing and what I have saved on binge eating rubbish has paid for it.

Lost 5 stone and not binged (physically can’t) and do OA so get psychological support as well

If the bad food isn’t in the house, what would you do ?

Whenever I read posts like this the negative and blaming tone always strike me. Diets are hard work as the minute you "fail" then it can be a downward spiral.

Can you rephrase it by making choices that nourish your body and will make you feel healthier overall. It might be a walk at lunchtime, or eating some salad with your dinner, drinking more water etc.

Celebrate the small changes that are positive rather than berating yourself for eating chocolate!

I hit 16 stone and had a Gastric bypass a month ago. You physically cannot overeat, perhaps consider that plus some therapy.

I know it's obvious but please look into the risks of gastric sleeve surgery- it's often cited as something really brilliant but there isn't even any longterm data on potential effects after a decade, let alone immediate risks. Not saying they're bad or people go into it without knowing, but it's important to make an informed decision as with any major surgery.

We worked out I had inattentive ADHD - and the lack of will power for impulsive eating fits into this. Try eating more fibre so you feel fuller longer.

She's a bit woo but this was very useful to me and made sense.

@Whatifitallgoesright omg I feel like iv been hypnotised

Not sure if anyone will see this but thought I'd update. I've FINALLY got my head in the game and I'm determined to lose weight. I've just got to the end of week two and I've lost 6lbs in total.

I've been eating berries with full fat Greek yog for breakfast, salad or soup for lunch and some kind of meat or fish with veg and some kid of carbs for dinner.

I know I will get bored of the above soon but wouldnt know where to start with changing it up!

Come chat to us here for more ideas if you like

Why We Eat (Too Much) Thread 5 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weightlosss_chat/4452191-Why-We-Eat-Too-Much-Thread-5