Asking what I can do to make the most of life

[wastedtwenties]

Sort of triggered by another thread where the OP is 26 and asking what she should do whilst she's young

I'm early 30's now and my 20's were spent with v poor health. I still have struggles (chronic illness) and also have two young children 5&3.

I've missed out on finding myself, finding hobbies, learning what I like and what I don't like, travelling etc and reading that thread amplified all the feelings I already hold.

I'm married with a mortgage and two dependants who are a joy but take the little energy I have. I work part time in a career where I won't progress with part time hours. It gives me no job satisfaction but I feel stuck as I can't give anymore of myself to my work life. Financially we sort of need it for the next year or so.

My health is such that I'm always trying different things/ researching to see what may work for me.

What advice would you give me?

I can't see anything you've written that would prevent you trying out new hobbies so id start there as it's likely to build your confidence in other areas too.

Find a hobby. Best thing I ever did, joining a club and making that 2 hours a week a priority for me.

I discovered meditation in my 40s, and it has changed my life. 10 mins a day keeps me calm and happy.

What sort of activities did you like as a child? That would give you some.clues.

Are you physically mobile? What limitations does your illness involve?

Once the kids are in bed I am utterly exhausted. I don't have the motivation or energy for hobbies. I started going to the gym twice a week 6 months ago and that's done wonders but it's not enough. I just don't feel mentally satisfied.

I've always enjoyed reading but recently I've been obsessed with self help books. But then I take it so seriously, trying to take all the info in and getting upset when I can't manage it.

I'm physically mobile but fatigue is a huge issue , pain is less of an issue but does limit me at times.

Absolutely find something for you, however small. Work and little kids can just suck the life out of you.
An exercise class, go for a walk, meet someone for a coffee/drink, read a book. Whatever works for you.
I had my dc quite late and did lots but you had yours young and can do stuff when they are up and left home. Different but no better or worse

go out earlier then and get your husband to do the evening and put the kids to bed

Your children are young and you will have more time for you as they need you less. Be patient. You have plenty of time ❤

I've just started learning to play drums and going to a rock choir once a week.

I found audiobooks a huge benefit. I rarely find I have time to sit and read (bad at making time) but I put audio books on whilst I walk the dog, cook dinner, commute to work. I feel like I've lived a hundred more lives through it. It really helps me escape from humdrum of normal life. I also have problems with fatigue and pain due to chronic illness and I have to measure out my activities carefully so can't just "slot in" a new exciting activity, so I really feel you on that. But audiobooks have really made a significant difference to how I view my days.

@Cantbelieve20

Your children are young and you will have more time for you as they need you less. Be patient. You have plenty of time ❤

^ I think this poster has it right: to me the best thing you can do is preserve your health & energy so that you will be on the best position when you have more freedom with older kids

Also agree on the meditation (or walking, jogging, swimming etc as repetitive gentle movement is also meditative & me time)