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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit my job with nothing to go to and risking a sanction on my UC

66 replies

TheMentalLoad · 17/03/2022 20:40

I literally hate it. My anxiety is through the roof, I don’t sleep for a few nights before I have to work and for days afterwards I go over what I’ve done and think about all the things I did wrong.

I’m on 0 hours and cut my hours right down to only 4 a week but I’m still not coping and work keep asking me to do more and more and I just can't. I know it’s the job that’s the issue not working in general as my last job before this was in a completely different field and I loved it, but the job disappeared overnight due to covid and I had to take what I could to keep a roof over my DDs head.

But I’m at the point where no amount of money is worth the effect on my health. I had a few months off before Christmas and into January (got signed off) and overnight my anxiety levels decreased, my IBS cleared up and I was eating better and much more myself according to friends.

Then I had to go back (my MH nurse wanted me to try it to see if the break helped but have 1 shift a week) and my symptoms returned within hours.

I’ve battled on for over 4 weeks now but I can’t do it anymore. I’m a single parent to 1 DC but my DC has stopped sleeping the night before a shift, I suspect they’re picking up on my anxiety, so I’m going into a shift sleep deprived and I’ve had enough. DC also has some health conditions so I'm juggling that as well.

I’m likely to be sanctioned by Universal Credit for quiting, but I am actually at the point where I don’t care, it’s not worth my mental health.

I am desperately looking for other work but I think I’d be in a better place to get a job if I didn’t have my current one hanging over me.

I know I am very UR, but I just can’t take it anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheMentalLoad · 17/03/2022 21:34

@Hwory

The worst job I ever had was at a call centre. Gave me terrible anxiety. I walked out without another job to go to.

I would get signed off work so you don't get sanctioned.

@Hwory I'm a single parent, DDs primary aged - KS2 but lower KS2. So I do the school run x2 a day, I have friends I see regularly as well although I'm seeing them less because I just feel so stressed by it.

I feel like I've got no headspace for anything other than work, I have never felt like this in any job I've had before.

OP posts:
Fistikfistik · 17/03/2022 22:21

Don't quit but start looking for something else. Call centre work is horrible. I did it for 2 years

GrolliffetheDragon · 17/03/2022 23:07

Nothing can be that bad that most people couldn't just suck it up for 4 hours a week whilst lookin for another job.

Admittedly it was more than four hours a week, but reducing the hours wouldn't have helped. I walked out of one job because, amongst other things, I was finding it increasingly hard to resist the urge to injure myself to avoid having to go in. I was I no fit state mentally to look for another job - I'd tried and completely fucked up the interviews.

GP just offered me antidepressants, but I knew from previous experience that the side effects would leave me incapable of working for weeks, would make me even more miserable and wouldn't actually fix the problem - which was the job and my line manager who hated me.

Beseen22 · 18/03/2022 07:23

One of my friends who has been out of work for 20 years while she raised her kids alone got told she had to get a job (not sure how it works sorry I guess she was sanctioned?) So she started of cleaning but it was a bit unpredictable. She then managed to get a job doing the school dinners and it's 10.30-1.30 every day and she absolutely loves it, can do the school run every day and is off in the summer and it's busy while she is there but she doesn't have to think about It at home. Is there anything like that going near you? Alternatively if you go into care work there is such a shortage right now you can pick whatever ward and whatever hours you want to do but I appreciate it's a much higher stress role at times.

girlmom21 · 18/03/2022 07:35

Do you think you could do another job or do you think you're not in a position to work at all at the moment?

ProfessorScarlett · 18/03/2022 07:49

Look for another job OP. Don't quit or get signed off (unless you have to). If you're only working 4 hours a week you have plenty of time to look and interview, even working in a supermarket etc may be good as you get staff discount on food after 3 months.

Imanidiotiknow · 18/03/2022 07:54

Ugh. I work in a call center too, unfortunately its too well paid to leave. I hate it with a passion, the big brother monitoring is so excessive I can't even leave my desk for a wee without being questioned.
It sounds like you'll be OK if you quit Flowers

ComDummings · 18/03/2022 07:56

As soon as you posted I knew it would be call centre. I used to fantasise about crashing or being hit by a car on the way to work. I wish you luck in your search for another job.

Nothappyatwork · 18/03/2022 07:58

@britneyisfree - contact Go Centric, they have from home roles. Op do the same - line something else up then quit

Original poster
TheMentalLoad · 18/03/2022 08:01

@girlmom21

Do you think you could do another job or do you think you're not in a position to work at all at the moment?
@girlmom21 I have worked successfully in other jobs since splitting with my H so I'm hoping with a bit of headspace from current job I could get something more suitable.
OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 18/03/2022 08:04

Hospitality round here are crying out for staff, anything like that near you. In fact schools are crying out for admin staff and for once we don’t have a stream of people wanting term time working

girlmom21 · 18/03/2022 08:08

I'm guessing you dont get much annual leave allowance but could you take a day off or call in sick and use the time to job hunt?

If you can be flexible you'll get another job in no time.

Swimswimmer8 · 18/03/2022 08:10

For something within school hours, what about a teaching assistant role? If you’ve worked in a charity before it sounds like you like working with people?

You can gain some experience / knowledge about whether or not you want to do it by volunteering at a school?

mjf981 · 18/03/2022 08:11

Get another job. Working on a production line? Cleaner? Supermarket?
Anything would be better than working in a call centre. I've never done it but it sounds horrendous.

DockOTheBay · 18/03/2022 08:19

I feel like I've got no headspace for anything other than work, I have never felt like this in any job I've had before
This is not normal for a job where you work 4 hours a week. Have you been looking for work elsewhere?

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 18/03/2022 08:24

Don't quit, go off sick and ask your doctor to keep signing you off. While off apply for other jobs, there are loads out there at the moment.

Your employer might start down the occupational health route with a view to dismissing you but this means no sanction for UC.

Redsquirrel5 · 18/03/2022 08:33

I think if your anxiety levels are that high you should quit. If you can manage to look for a job first all the better but if it is affecting you severely then leave and then find a job. Lots of jobs in the care sector and as already said in hospitality.

Charity shops employ some people.
What are your set of skills?
What jobs have you had previously?
Try some volunteering to get back your confidence.
Do you like ironing? Start your own business. Someone on mumsnet was charging £15 an hour for ironing that is nearly £3 more than I got as a TA teaching a class! If my shoulder wasn’t a problem I would do that. Four hours ironing would get you more than a call centre.
I hope you feel better soon.

Calmdown14 · 18/03/2022 08:38

With the rise in cost of living, I'd be very careful with sanctions.
You really need to focus your efforts on finding something else. It's clearly not for you and expect the intrusion into your home environment isn't helping.
Surely four hours a week is easily replaced. There are always adverts on our local FB pages looking for people to help elderly relatives a couple of hours a day. Might something like that work?

NoSquirrels · 18/03/2022 08:46

Anyone to help with school runs or childcare once or twice a week?

Any breakfast or after-school clubs for your DC?

Looking for a school-hours job is severely limiting you.

Don’t get sanctioned if you can avoid it. It won’t improve things.

Can you get signed off again in the interim?

AngelinaFibres · 18/03/2022 08:53

@SevenWaystoLeave

Just read it's call centre work - oh yes that can easily be that bad, drove me to the brink of nervous breakdown when I did it. Totally understandable.
My youngest son worked as a letting agent after uni. He would completely understand how you feel. He had students and their parents phoning and calling him a cunt and landlords phoning him and doing the same. All day ,every day. It made him ill. If I were you I would find a different job, this one clearly doesn't work for you. Set yourself a plan ,that will give you a little bit of control . If you are on minimum wage there is ,hopefully, a bit of choice out there. Get your CV sorted and apply.
Hoppinggreen · 18/03/2022 08:59

Call centre and telesales work is very hard and I actually think only doing it for 4 hours a week would make it worse as it gives you too much time to think about it rather than get into the rhythm of doing it all the time
It’s not a job everyone can do, you need real mental resilience and I dont think it’s right for you OP. There should be plenty of hospitality jobs around, most places I know are short staffed

Underfrighter · 18/03/2022 09:00

Lots of call centre work is very stressful.

Why cant you get signed off with stress for a few weeks and use that time to look for something else?

Grenlei · 18/03/2022 09:09

@DockOTheBay

I feel like I've got no headspace for anything other than work, I have never felt like this in any job I've had before This is not normal for a job where you work 4 hours a week. Have you been looking for work elsewhere?
Completely this.

I know what it's like to hate a job, at one time I used to actively want to fall downstairs and break a leg or something so I could get 6-8 weeks away from the hellhole. But I was working 40+ hour weeks, managing a team, plus my own work, client demands, complying with all regulatory requirements, and in a toxic workplace (to which I had a difficult commute) where any lateness resulted in a verbal warning.

Ultimately I stuck it out and eventually another, better, job came up.

I'm struggling to grasp why a tiny 4 hours of your week is impacting you so significantly that you're taking 2 months off sick and then in the subsequent 2 months haven't even been able to look for another job?

I can only think that either, being charitable, there are other issues at play here unrelated to your job which are causing your MH issues. Or less charitably, that you want an excuse not to work.

CannaBelieve · 18/03/2022 09:14

Op says she works from home

Not sure how she would hope working in sainsburys/boots/hospitality if she is struggling with 4 hours WFH

girlmom21 · 18/03/2022 09:17

@CannaBelieve

Op says she works from home

Not sure how she would hope working in sainsburys/boots/hospitality if she is struggling with 4 hours WFH

It's the work/customers she can't cope with and, quite frankly, it sounds awful.