Feel like this isn’t how a doctor should carry out an intimate examination?

[Anxietyandwine]

Okay prepared to be told I am being over sensitive here but I don’t think I am.

Had my period this week. 111 sent me to hospital for excessive bleeding and fainting. Arrived at hospital at 9:30am was examined in A&E around 2pm and then told to wait for a specialist to review. All fine.

Told I potentially need surgery and I’m being sent up to a bed. But then moved to a surgery ward waiting room instead. Waited til midnight to finally be seen be a dr/surgeon for assessment.

He came and got me and walked me through a disused part of the hospital to a TINY room, small enough there was only room for one bed and one chair. So he’s asking what’s going on, I’m explaining and he’s standing over me which already feels a bit odd but it’s fine.

Asks if I’m okay for him to examine me - I agree - he goes to get nurse to chaperone. Fine. I notice the sheets are stained and all crumpled like they’ve been used and I ask if I can have a clean sheet to lie on. Nurse gets one.

Nurse and doctor proceed to stand staring at me, he gestures to the bed so I get on fully clothed. He tells me I need to undress. So I am lay on the bed and pull down my bottoms/underwear without looking up already feeling embarrassed. He examines my intimate area with a gloved hand with that horrible lube they use. Fine. Then he uses the paper towels type things to clean the lube stuff off my intimate area without warning.

I’ve had two babies, I’m not particularly squeamish with smears etc. But it just felt wrong.

Not having privacy to undress. Not having a sheet to cover myself with during exam, the doctor cleaning me up after which I really wasn’t expecting. I felt pretty degraded by the whole experience but I just wanted it over and to go home.

So I guess

IABU - This is normal I’m being over sensitive?

NBU - this isn’t normal and I should feed it back to the hospital.

Not sure if it's normal or not , but if it made you feel uncomfortable you should raise it.

No that's not normal.

It's shit and you should feedback.

I think in a&e they sometimes forget that emergency doesn't mean you are in war zone with no boundaries.

I've had similar and did say something and it was like the doctor kind of 'came to' and went, 'sorry, I should have thought'. It was weird.

That doesn't sound normal no.

This doesn't sound normal to me, whenever I've had an examination they've always given me privacy to get undressed, a sheet to go over the top of me and leave the room for me to clean myself up, get dressed etc. It sounds like he was very insensitive, and I'm sorry for you that you had to experience this. In your position I would personally feedback to the hospital

It's not normal but probably indicative of overworked and full NHS hospitals.

I'm sorry for your experience and hope you are on the mend

I've had a nurse wipe a bit and then give me the tissue.

Tbh, I don't understand why you would be bothered about undressing when the Dr was going to see your bits anyway, but as a pp, if you were uncomfortable, raise it with the hospital.

Sounds typical, that doesn’t wake it right.

Not on.

I chaperone frequently and in those circumstances I’d have said that “we will just pop outside while you undress” & instruct you to put a bit of bed roll over your bottom half for dignity whilst ushering the dr out.
I’d also have been the one to knock and shout asking if you were decent and if it was okay for us to come in before we entered the room.

That was really crap. Sorry you had to deal with that

I've had many, many gynae procedures and have never ever been cleaned up by a doctor. The chaperone, what was their reaction? The doctor seemed to ask permission/follow procedure until that part. It's very odd, maybe he got distracted after cleaning his hands and just started cleaning.

@Insanegotnobrain

Not on.

I chaperone frequently and in those circumstances I’d have said that “we will just pop outside while you undress” & instruct you to put a bit of bed roll over your bottom half for dignity whilst ushering the dr out.
I’d also have been the one to knock and shout asking if you were decent and if it was okay for us to come in before we entered the room.

That was really crap. Sorry you had to deal with that

This is how I have always experienced other intimate examinations. If I hadn’t been up all night and then at hospital all day I probably would have said something but I just didn’t have it in me at the time.

I don’t know if the chaperone reacted to anything I don’t think my eyes left the ceiling the whole time I was mortified.

I’m a doctor and I don’t think YABU. If there wasn’t a curtain you could change behind then we’d step out of the room for a minute whilst you changed. I’d always make sure you had a sheet to cover yourself with and I’d give you something to clean the gel off with not do it for you. Please consider feeding this back to PALS.

@LottyD32

I've had a nurse wipe a bit and then give me the tissue.

Tbh, I don't understand why you would be bothered about undressing when the Dr was going to see your bits anyway, but as a pp, if you were uncomfortable, raise it with the hospital.

It's bloody obvious.

But if you can't understand it... undressing in front of someone while they watch feels very different to being in control and allowing access to those parts that need to be examined. Doctors know this which is one of the reasons for surgical draping to make the human body and what we have to do to it less traumatic for all concerned. There are articles about it.

I have had a doctor 'clean up' before and I found it super weird. I had just had a vaginal ultrasound. I think he did it without thinking. There was a nurse with me so I do t think it was anything dodgy but it did feel wrong somehow. I've had loads of smears and vaginal exams and they usually just give me some towel and leave me to it. Sounds like they weren't very considerate of your privacy. If you continue to feel uneasy about it, you should feedback about your experience.

I’ve had several IVF’s where a male doctor would do an internal scan every second day to check on egg progress. I’ve probably had over 50 internal exams at least? Now you mention it I would say a lot sort of use the towel to get rid of excess fluid and then hand me towel to clean up further. Once someone didn’t offer me something to cover myself and it did make me feel uncomfortable so if it ever happened again I just asked and was obliged.

Definitely not normal. I do intimate examinations every day and I always allow my patients privacy behind the curtain to undress, with a sheet of paper towel as a modesty blanket.

And I offer the paper ‘blanket’ to them following the exam to clean themselves up whilst they are back behind the curtain getting dressed.

Speak to PALS

Doesn’t sound great to OP. Was he young? Could be due to lack of experience. I can kind of see a Dr thinking (wrongly) that as you presented as an emergency that the whole thing could be sped up a bit by not offering you a gown etc. Especially if A@E was rammed with emergencies and he’s stressed. But I would raise it with PALS to stop it happening to someone else.

I remember having an internal and being wiped afterwards, I hated it and it made me feel really uncomfortable.

Agree with others. Recently had a similar examination due to heavy periods by my own gp. I was given a private space to undress and then called her in when I was ready. A sheet to go over myself. She then explained in detail what she would do and what she was feeling for. Asked if it was ok to go ahead, asked if i was ok during and then gave me some of the extra sheet roll thing to clean up with as she left and shut the curtain after her so i could dress.

If you're uncomfortable raise it. My nurse cleans me up after a smear.

Being cleaned would particularly freak me out! I’d complain - the doctor may have just been overworked and not properly thinking right, but it should be raised in case

Bit different but I work on a gastro ward and often chaperone for rectal exams. As an inpatient you pretty much always undress in front of the examiner, and they will wipe the lube off for you, although with warning would be better

@FelicityBeedle

Bit different but I work on a gastro ward and often chaperone for rectal exams. As an inpatient you pretty much always undress in front of the examiner, and they will wipe the lube off for you, although with warning would be better

I wonder why such a difference in the general standard for rectal exams as opposed to vaginal exams? Sounds very similar to my experience.

Someone asked if he was young, no he was probably around 50. I will probably raise it in the hope that the next woman is given more dignity. Cross with myself for not voicing it there and then now.