is ds doing this on purpose?

[OverproofRum]

For the love of God please someone explain to me what on earth is going on with my ds11?

He is slowly driving me insane with his constant moaning and nitpicking over everything.
Everyday I wake him up there seems to be something wrong with him, be it a headache belly ache, fucking toenailache! He is so highly strung Its honestly driving me nuts, he's late for school most days and also makes ds2 late because of his sheer lack of movement.
This morning apparently his bike is stiff and will only go slow there is absolutely nothing wrong with his bike, it has recently had a full service and he rode it yesterday and there was nothing wrong with it.

He moves at the pace of a sloth, takes 10 mins to put on a pair of socks or shoes, complains the shoes are too small again they are relatively new and fit him perfectly. I make breakfast and he moans he doesn't want it, he wanted something else, is always up and down the stairs putting stuff in his bag when it should have already been done or I've done it and then he's conveniently forgotten something.
You can't say boo to him without a complete meltdown or he get angry, It's like he thinks the whole world revolves around him and everyone has to go where he wants on his schedule and God help anyone who doesn't do it.
I'm a single working parent and am honestly trying to do my best but it's really starting to affect my relationship with him as I just don't want to be around him, it's also affecting his brother who even though he is a bit of a dolly day dreamer gets things done and is quite happy to just go with the flow and very relaxed.

I don't even know what to do anymore

Some of this behaviour is normal ime.

Some of those things just say nothing - going up and down the stairs 20 times is fine as long as he ends up with everything he needs. My older son does this and it helps me to think of things that way round. I'm not a morning person and a worrier so I do it the night before but if that's his chosen way to deal with things then leave him to it.

The moaning is also pretty normal. I ignore. I tried the sympathy approach of agreeing that mornings are crap but that depresses me and doesn't help because clearly I don't understand him

Does he get enough sleep? Could he make his own breakfast ?

Is his behaviour just in the morning or all day long?

I find after school is trickier than in the morning as they are hungry unlike mornings when they'd rather stay in their bed and sleep.

@bookbuddy I've just bought DS new socks and we've got half the morning back! Maybe I should do it more often - self care

He's in year 6 and I know with Sats everything is a little harder and slightly more stressful, but he absolutely loves school and pretty much excels in all subjects has done since reception.

I did initially think he was being bullied, however I have spoken to him and his teachers and both assure me that he isn't.

This also isn't a new thing he has always been like it so I don't think it's all down to hormones, which no doubt are adding to the issues but I think as he's got older its becoming harder for me to physically put on his shoes or get him out of bed and I cannot take it anymore.

He was also tested for autism last year but he masked, so is under review and will go for another test I'm hoping at some point this year do we will definitely know for sure.

@GoldFigure hopefully that’ll work for a while! I’ve bought lots of fluffy sleep socks for her they seem to make things a little easier for her (extra stretchy)! I have actually taken her to the gp before thinking maybe something was wrong (sensory issue), but no she can get up and ready if it’s somewhere she wants to go!

It's an all day occurrence, some days I'll get up and he's fully dressed and ready for school other days it is like waking a demon

I have to teens with autism but I think most of these behaviours are just normal teen behaviours, one of mine also has dyspraxia and possible ADHD, she’s often slow in the mornings, takes a while to wake up, will moan a lot but once she’s awake she’s like a different person. I have memories of my brother as a teen, he was awful, grunted a lot, was always late for school, would swear at my parents (only in the morning) and would only eat when he wanted too, never when my DM had cooked him a meal.