Should your will be written differently for a disabled child?

[JustOneCornett0]

If your child has a long term disability, should your will be arranged differently?

I think I want to set up some sort of trust but I didn’t get far with figuring it out. Ideally I want my daughter and a couple of friends to be able to manage eg housing for young DS who is disabled. I hope I don’t die while he’s a child but I’m sure even if I live longer than the longest lived of my relatives DS will still need support.

If you want it to be arranged differently then do, there is no "should" about it.

But you should consult a solicitor in real life rather than asking AIBU.

My Nan and Grandad left everything to my Aunt who has Down Syndrome to cover any ongoing costs. It depends on the situation really.

I think it might be helpful to contact a solicitor to enquire about getting a trust fund set up. If your child is likely to be claiming benefits when they are an adult then a lump sum inheritance could cause these to be stopped. Some, like DLA/PIP/ADP are non means tested and would not be affected, but others like UC would stop. Your son or daughter would have to live off the funds untill the amount dropped below the threshold again.
A trust fund would allow the money to be managed, and small amounts could be taken out for things that they needed or wanted.
I think people hear 'trust fund' and associate it with rich kids, but it's actually really common to be used in this way.

I'd be inclined to think yes but I'd get specialist advice. If it's less likely I'd be helping with university/house deposit/providing child care I'd want to balance out ways of making sure they had the support they needed to be secure, that would probably mean some sort of trust and benefit advice.

Will be for mine unless he suddenly becomes neurotypical he is going to need help and support massively via his siblings most likely

There is no "should" really you can write your Will however you want but if you do want to make provision for a disabled child then the Will may look a bit different than just say a 50/50 split between two children for example. If the disabled child wouldn't be capable of managing their own money then their inheritance would probably need to go into a trust. Its really the kind of Will you need a solicitor to help you write.

consider the impact on eligibility for benefits.
I don't say this to be grabby or nudge you towards deprivation of assets. Some forms of supported housing require you to claim housing benefit, and if your DC has substantial assets they can be ineligible for these services.

Definitely get specialist advice. Various charities ( Mencap, Autistic Society etc) often have their own legal experts for advice.

Depends on disability. My dc has physical disability but I expect they will live a fully normal/independent life.
If they will need lifelong care or will lack capacity to deal with their affairs as an adult then yes very sensible to get appropriate legal advice and make provision.

Get specialist advice from an experienced solicitor. A lot will depend on the child's current and likely future needs and the benefits position. It is worth paying for an expert to advise.

Definitely-we have a trust set up with linked wills -not cheap but essential if you have a disabled child with siblings- my only advice would be if cannot afford trust do not leave money to disabled child if not in trust as they lose all benefits. Mencap do regular free seminars so go to one.

It completely depends, partly on whether you're leaving multiple properties and income earning trusts or "just" your family home. I work in learning disabilities nursing and actually being left money has worked against some clients, but mainly at the point where the money starts to reach the tipping point between being wholly self funded and applying for state funding. Also sadly our team know of a lady who's parents left her a very large estate and her brother nothing yet made him her legal guardian (he had been on good terms with her before his second parent died though not especially close) - that did not go well but he wasn't actually criminal or abusiver and his guardianship couldn't be legally removed from him, but he was extremely cynical and resentful.

I'm not in the UK but you need advice on how leaving whatever you have to leave would impact your child's access to funded residential care or whatever services they might need.

Yes I would imagine I would do that. I would explain to all siblings and hoped they'd understand

@Lockheart

If you want it to be arranged differently then do, there is no "should" about it.

But you should consult a solicitor in real life rather than asking AIBU.

I did ask a solicitor! Thanks. I think it is a niche topic.

Thanks everyone. I will go on a mencap course. Did pay for legal advice but subsequently realised it was a niche subject once I had already paid!

Yes, of course. They will always need some help, so writing it into your will would help that. It means they have been left more, but its for families to work out what is right for them and explain things to the NT children.

Hi I have a disabled dd, we went through mencap and they were brilliant.
Most solicitors know surprisingly little about provision for disabled children and more often than not give incorrect advice and charge a fortune for it.
Mencap run free will and trust seminars some in person some zoom just get in touch with them and they will book you on one.
We used one of their solicitors to write our wills and set up a discretionary trust for our dd. Many solicitors will advise a disabled persons trust which is totally the wrong thing to do as only a discretionary trust will protect anything you leave to them without affecting things like benefits and care packages.

I have a discretionary trust set up to manage my sons inheritance when I die. He will need full time care and be on benefits so it made sense to

You need to be careful re leaving sums of money where some benefits are means tested - you don’t want DC to loose some benefits as a consequence and then struggle to reapply when the pot runs dry.
A trust with an income is a good idea if you have enough wealth or can leave anything that generates an income - obviously you also need someone willing to manage that.

My parents never had legal advice but decided many years ago that everything would come to me and nothing to my (disabled) sister. The reasoning being that if she had to self fund the amount that went to her would be used to very quickly and then she'd have to be state funded anyway. And they knew that I would advocate for her and fight all the way for what I thought was in her best interests. As it turned out she died of breast cancer 3 years ago at 36.

There’s no ‘should’, only what works for your family.

Some siblings would understand, others would be resentful (whether you think they should be or not) and that’s something to consider in regards to what you’d want the sibling relationship to be after you’ve gone.

If they have a disability which is likely to mean they will need lifelong care and will never live independently then I would recommend that you leave your money I'm a discretionary trust in your will. We did our will like that because one of our DC was in this category. Sadly (or not) depending on how you look at it, DD did not outlive us so this is no longer required.

Something else to consider also is if Grandparents are likely to leave money to your child. PIL's were planning on doing this and in the end they designated our DDs share to be given to DH on her behalf. MIL is still alive so this didn't actually need to happen as it turned out.

@bigbluebus

If they have a disability which is likely to mean they will need lifelong care and will never live independently then I would recommend that you leave your money I'm a discretionary trust in your will. We did our will like that because one of our DC was in this category. Sadly (or not) depending on how you look at it, DD did not outlive us so this is no longer required.

Something else to consider also is if Grandparents are likely to leave money to your child. PIL's were planning on doing this and in the end they designated our DDs share to be given to DH on her behalf. MIL is still alive so this didn't actually need to happen as it turned out.

I'm so terribly sorry to hear this @bigbluebus . I cannot begin to imagine what you must have been going through with the loss of your daughter.

@bigbluebus so sorry for the loss of your daughter💐