To think MIL should have told us about D&V?

[Sleepdeprived42long]

MIL looks after DC after school on Tuesday. They also look after my niece (age 1). Picked up DC from MIL yesterday (Tue) and at pick up she said DN had had sickness and diarrhoea Sunday/Monday. MIL unwell all day today.

AIBU to think they (or my brother/sister in law) should have told us this? We could have made other plans for childcare! Especially as it is one of my DC birthday’s this weekend!

I know I can be a bit unreasonable with D&V as I have emetophobia. Feeling really on edge now as feels like inevitable we will get it :-(

YANBU we were once invited round for Sunday dinner when PILs were telling us how it was the first meal they'd eaten in days because they'd had sickness bugs all day that day and the previous day. DH started that night, thankfully I managed managed ring all our customers for the next two days to rearrange before I started.

Then it's "oh there must be something going round" yeah cos you feckers are spreading it!

My god this is my absolute pet hate! The amount of times we have met up for play dates/attended parties/invited round for dinner etc with people who have then casually dropped in to conversation how sick they’ve been (and the we inevitably come down with it) it drives me bloody bonkers because there’s just no chance I would be so bloody selfish/fecking stupid not to tell anyone in advance and cancel all plans if we had been sick

I really hope you avoid it OP but I’d be bloody furious with them for not saying anything if you do all get ill 😷

I messaged them to say would have been nice to have told us. According to them it’s not a big deal as inevitable we will get it cause it’s going round anyway. Might be true but would rather have been able to at least try to avoid it

Chances of a 1yr old passing on a D&V bug that you’re not already immune to are very slim. Also do your DC even play with DN as they are school age? I can’t imagine they’d even come in contact.

@EmpressCixi

Chances of a 1yr old passing on a D&V bug that you’re not already immune to are very slim. Also do your DC even play with DN as they are school age? I can’t imagine they’d even come in contact.

Read the op. The MIL was unwell. The one who was looking after her DCs. Funny how the mil wasn't immune to it despite being a lot older, so chances aren't really slim are they?

My DCs play loads with my niece-literally let her give kisses, cuddles and crawl all over them!

We’ve not had D&V since before COVID so I think our immunity is probably pretty low!

Only luck will help us avoid this I think!

Oh that is really unfair and I would be pissed off too! Fellow emetophobe!!

@EmpressCixi

Chances of a 1yr old passing on a D&V bug that you’re not already immune to are very slim. Also do your DC even play with DN as they are school age? I can’t imagine they’d even come in contact.

What are you on?

You don’t get immunity to norovirus.

@EmpressCixi

Chances of a 1yr old passing on a D&V bug that you’re not already immune to are very slim. Also do your DC even play with DN as they are school age? I can’t imagine they’d even come in contact.

You don't gain immunity for very long for these kinds of bugs.

Happened to us at the weekend. Kids party, casual mention that X had been poorly the night before ‘but was fine now’. Half the kids (and parents) now have D&V

@EmpressCixi

Chances of a 1yr old passing on a D&V bug that you’re not already immune to are very slim. Also do your DC even play with DN as they are school age? I can’t imagine they’d even come in contact.

Eh? I've caught D&V from my son before, not every time, but the chances are very real!

OP, I've always been staggered by this behaviour. I've visited friends and heard about how their dc was vomiting last night one too many times.

It’s really selfish. My Ex H announced that his younger DD was in bed with D & V after he collected my DDs for the weekend- said nothing as he collected them but told them when they got to his house.
It worked it’s way through both kids then myself a few days later, meaning that I had to take almost a week off work, firstly to look after my ill DDs, then whilst I was I’ll myself in turn. I’m self employed, so no work = no pay. Selfish, selfish twat that he is.

It’s the height of unthinking rudeness IMO. We had DGC then aged 1 overnight. Dealt with a poonami at teatime but didn’t think too much of it as he wasn’t ill at all. Went home Sunday teatime, Sunday night all night we were both floored with D&V. DS and DDiL were very blasé about it, just oh yes he’d picked it up from cousins, one of whose whole class and half the parents were down with it . I was furious and quiz them very closely about DGC state of health when we babysit now.

I'd be so annoyed too can't believe people do this but sadly I know of those that do as well. Just last week I went for drinks with a friend who announced she had been vomiting for 48 hours - can't understand why people don't warn others.

I’m glad most don’t think I’m being unreasonable-my DH thinks it’s a bit rubbish but not really a big deal. I was thinking it could have been my anxiety re vomiting skewing my perception.

YANBU. Even reading this is giving me the fear (also an emetophobe). The height of selfishness

The reason these things 'go round' is because people like them spread it! YANBU

This thread is also making me feel slightly less alone in my emetophobia. It’s awful but nice to know I’m not alone! I’ve had this phobia since I was a teenager and I didn’t even realise it had a name and was fairly common until I was into my 30s!

Your dh will change his tune if he has to suffer a nasty D&V bug. I met up with a friend whose kids had a D&V bug ten years ago. She didn't tell me. I asked her why her eldest was so quiet and wouldn't eat anything (he handed his food to my dc who proceeded to eat it). She then told me about the D&V and said it's "ok". Well it wasn't fucking OK. Both dcs were vomiting a couple of days later and then I got it off them and so did dh. Family taken out for 8 fucking days just washing sick after sick after shit (kids were little). Never forgave her because she knowingly did this and when I told her we caught it, she said it was "going around a lot". Friendship over.

We've had this so many time. Pil look after DS one day a week a now look after dn on the same day. Pick up and get dn is ill with X. Sometimes on antibiotics. DS then gets ill then I get it after looking after him. He has health issues so has ended in hospital. Trying to juggle work, sick child, broken sleep. They don't care.

Fellow emetophobe here too. It's v unusual to catch a sickness bug if you have been with someone BEFORE they come down with it as it is passed through faecal/oral route, hence the need for excellent hand hygiene and also not going back to school/work etc for 48hrs following last vomit/diarrhoea. If the DC saw your MIL BEFORE she was ill, they might avoid it. And you're Def not BU. I can't stand this sort of behaviour either. (Also, EMDR has been hugely helpful for my emetophobia!).

@Sleepdeprived42long

I’m glad most don’t think I’m being unreasonable-my DH thinks it’s a bit rubbish but not really a big deal. I was thinking it could have been my anxiety re vomiting skewing my perception.

I agree with your husband. Small children get sick all the time, they grow out of it.

@RedHelenB I know what’s done is done. Not much I can do about it now. Although not sure it’s accurate to say small children grow out of D&V-I know plenty of adults who get stomach bugs (usually from their DC)!