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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to tackle this

10 replies

Nothappyatwork · 16/03/2022 15:13

I haven’t worked in big corporate for a long time we’re talking nearly 20 years. All of the girls I work with that are younger are lovely just really good nice people but then there’s this one, we started on the same day I thought this is great we’re gonna get on brilliantly, similar stages of life, similar age, actually similar career history which worked in some of the same places as well which is really nice. Been for lunch together she is offloaded onto me I’ve not really had anything to offload but nodded and smiled in the right places.
We were doing some training where we each had to take a section of a role-play and when it came to my part I happened to glance up this person and she was grimacing and I thought well you don’t necessarily know that that was it you that she was grimacing so just leave it don’t get distracted and then of course I couldn’t stop looking after and shes rolling her eyes and pulling faces during my presentation. I thought that might be me being oversensitive but now I’m looking back there’s been a few things like we were sat around talking and somebody dropped a massive faux pas and she just looked straight at me and said all that’s the kind of thing unhappy would say, weve known each other five weeks so I don’t really think that she could possibly comment that’s something I’d say. There was also a meeting in the boardroom last week we were all given a glass of alcohol and as we left I put mine down untouched, and a loud comment was made that I’d best not go into work holding my glass of alcohol (the company gave it to us, we were at work, so ).
I thought i was being over sensitive but she literally argues with everything i say, black is white kinda thing. All with a smile on her face and a lol on the end

OP posts:
Squeezita · 16/03/2022 15:36

Yep, sounds like early stages of bullying behaviour.

Tackle it early on, take her aside or put in some time in for her and ask her if she has a problem with you.

Nothappyatwork · 16/03/2022 16:30

Thank you… id really started doubting myself

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Momicrone · 16/03/2022 17:15

Could you give it right back in a light hearted way, so take away her power

Nothappyatwork · 16/03/2022 17:40

Tbh my confidence took quite a hit before starting this job, I probably am less confident standing up for myself but i need to, with a light hearted grin

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SewingWarriorQueen76 · 16/03/2022 18:23

She's trying to make sure that she is seen, not you. In the end, others will notice her behaviour too, but I 'd 'put it in an email to your manager.

Merryoldgoat · 16/03/2022 18:41

Deal with it head on and professionally.

She’s trying to undermine you. Sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Chamomileteaplease · 16/03/2022 19:03

You should get some good tips from people on here.

All I can think of is saying "pardon?" to everything she says, in a neutral tone, so that she has to repeat it and her bitchiness isn't missed by anyone.

Nothappyatwork · 16/03/2022 19:09

@Chamomileteaplease

You should get some good tips from people on here.

All I can think of is saying "pardon?" to everything she says, in a neutral tone, so that she has to repeat it and her bitchiness isn't missed by anyone.

I like that, not passive aggressive but assertive. I do you think she’s actually massively insecure herself.
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Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/03/2022 19:48

I find a softly spoken "Why would you say something like that?" tends to work - after all if they're being unpleasant deliberately there's not much they can say

Nothappyatwork · 16/03/2022 21:27

Love that too ☺️

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