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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this delivery driver being rude?

73 replies

Swizzel · 16/03/2022 15:03

Hi all - not a big thing, but I know that it's going to bug me all day long.

I had a Tesco order delivered this morning. One of the items I had ordered was a small joint of beef (1.25kg) - what I got was a joint that was actually 2.5kg. Now, I realise that sometimes weights can vary, but in this case the difference in price was obviously double what I had intended to pay, and took me over my weekly budget. On this basis, I asked the delivery driver to take the joint of beef back as I didn't want it. His reply to me was "Yeah, it's not like you could cut it in half and freeze the rest of it, is it?"

I didn't manage to formulate a reply to his comment before he left, I have autism and can sometimes take a little while to process what people say. I was already flustered, trying to get the shopping out of the crates and into my bags by the front door as quickly as possible, as the driver was in a hurry (I'm disabled, so I was doing it one-handed whilst using my walking stick to balance). However, I've been thinking on it for the last few hours, and it's really bugging me. I think he was being rude, but don't know whether to complain, or whether I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

For context, we usually have our Tesco order delivered on a Thursday morning when my husband is at home to unload it all. I could only book a Wednesday slot this week, and decided that I could manage to unload a small order on my own. Because of my health conditions, it's really difficult and painful to do it, so I wonder whether I'm just being over-sensitive?

OP posts:
Thethreecs · 16/03/2022 16:28

If you could not afford the dearer larger joint then you didn't have to take it and it's none of his business what you decide.

I'm sick to death of delivery drivers here commenting on my food shop. We've 7 people here and I shop 2 weekly so it's a big shop, they always make some sort of smart arse comments.

If you're not happy with how you are treated then speak up and tell someone, drivers shouldn't be making sarky comments about your order.

We usually get an email after asking about the delivery, not sure if you do. Maybe just ireland.

Mydogmylife · 16/03/2022 16:38

@TristramBrandy

What would you their response would be?

Btw, if it is a substitution then it is almost certain to be charged at the price of the smaller piece.

Sadly no - weighed items are charged at full price
PeacefulPrune · 16/03/2022 16:46

Yes he was rude. Yes it's normal to feel hurt by it. But unless he does it again I don't think a complaint is warranted. Everyone is rude sometimes. He was probs trying to be funny or just forgot to use a filter.

TwoDaysOff · 16/03/2022 16:50

It was me who originally said about the sub price in the third (?) Post.
Apologies, I didn't realise about the meat exemption.

moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 16/03/2022 16:53

Yes he was rude
No I wouldn't complain

Geezabreak82 · 16/03/2022 16:57

Sainsburys often do this when we order a chicken. You can indicate roughly what size of bird you want, but we often end up with one that's too small or far too big. It's really annoying because it makes it difficult to budget and plan meals before the shopping arrives. I can't see how it's not avoidable if the pickers paid a bit more attention. YANBU though because supermarkets need to be mindful of the cost of living and the fact that a joint of meat double the size of what's been ordered may not be affordable. It's frankly none of the drivers business either.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 16/03/2022 17:08

Don’t give it a second thought. He probably thought he was being clever. Technically he’s right but you didn’t ask for his opinion.

RB68 · 16/03/2022 17:14

when you get a joint they are a bit vague on how much it can weigh and it doesn't come under the sub rules as far as I can see. And yes he was rude he was saying you could keep it and half it - but if it is over your budget that is a by the by and it was an unnecessary comment

50DaysAF · 16/03/2022 17:20

They hate taking stuff back. I think it’s time consuming when they get back to base, they have to adjust the total, do something with the item etc. it probably annoyed him because you kind of accept the risk getting a bit of meat delivered because of the nature of picking online orders.

I wouldn’t complain personally but only because I’d be worried he’d be the same driver next week.

Concestor · 16/03/2022 17:35

Yes he was rude.
I'd complain because it's not acceptable in a customer facing role to behave like that.
I'm also autistic.

Seems like NT people don't mind rudeness? That would explain quite a lot!

Booboobibles · 16/03/2022 17:36

It’s impossible to say without knowing the tone in which it was said.

If it was a friendly tone then maybe he meant it was the wrong shape to cut and if it wasn’t friendly then he was probably being an idiot. If he was being an idiot, he’s probably like it to everyone and is a miserable person. Just feel sorry for him…a happy person doesn’t act like that.

I’m autistic too btw.

Degreeincodology · 16/03/2022 17:39

Move on. Really not worth thinking about and making a complaint would be absolutely ridiculous

Swizzel · 16/03/2022 17:54

Thank you everyone for the advice and opinions. I'm feeling a lot better about what happened now, and have decided to just let it go and work on the basis that it was hopefully just a one-off during what may just be a stressful day for the driver (Cheltenham Gold Cup this week, traffic is probably terrible).

A very big thank you to those of you who understand that, for me, autism very much affects my thought processes and my feelings. You have made me feel less anxious about asking for help and advice on here in the future.

OP posts:
Theoldwrinkley · 16/03/2022 18:17

Please don't complain. Put it down to him being (possibly) having a bad day. My son has autism. Got a job delivering. He thought he was being chatty and friendly to a customer calling him 'chief', as in 'you are the boss'. Customer took it as a racial insult (as in native American) and complained. My son got the sack. Cue further mental health problems, financial stress etc. And he was being respectful and chatty, no offence intended.

Star81 · 16/03/2022 18:29

Well @mnnewbie111 I still don’t think the driver meant it in a rude way but I think your comment to me was definitely rude and patronising.

Eightiesfan · 16/03/2022 18:30

@TwoDaysOff

Usually subs are charged at the lower price? On that basis I would have taken it. But yes, he was a little arsey
If only that were true, as this item is bought per weight OP would have been charged full price as it’s not strictly a sub.
mnnewbie111 · 16/03/2022 18:33

@Star81

Well *@mnnewbie111* I still don’t think the driver meant it in a rude way but I think your comment to me was definitely rude and patronising.
Oh wow, that wasn't my intention, sorry you felt that way. I actually meant it that it's sweet that someone can see the best in people. Mumsnet is mad AF
FangsForTheMemory · 16/03/2022 18:35

If it was on the bone or an awkward shape, you probably couldn't.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/03/2022 18:37

He was not being rude.

CapMarvel · 16/03/2022 18:41

It's literally impossible to determine from a 2nd hand account whether the guy was being rude, sarky or whatever.

Just forget about it.

BoredZelda · 16/03/2022 18:45

It’s literally impossible to determine from a 2nd hand account whether the guy was being rude, sarky or whatever.

Just forget about it.

Yep.

AngelinaFibres · 16/03/2022 18:52

He probably thought you were being ridiculous and knew how much of a faff it would be to take it back and do all the returns paperwork. I think his idea sounds very sensible

AngelinaFibres · 16/03/2022 18:53

@Theoldwrinkley

Please don't complain. Put it down to him being (possibly) having a bad day. My son has autism. Got a job delivering. He thought he was being chatty and friendly to a customer calling him 'chief', as in 'you are the boss'. Customer took it as a racial insult (as in native American) and complained. My son got the sack. Cue further mental health problems, financial stress etc. And he was being respectful and chatty, no offence intended.
Was the customer a native American
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