I didn’t know where to put this thread so I hope I can get some advice here.
I’m due my first baby next week and I’m struggling already with boundaries when it comes to certain family members. I had COVID two weeks ago and despite being triple jabbed I was pretty rough for a week and still not my best the week after. I decided that I didn’t want any visitors now until the baby is born as DP somehow hadn’t caught it and I need him there when I give birth, it would really upset us both if he did catch it and couldn’t be there, there’s already been an outbreak in his workplace so he’s really trying to be as careful as possible. We’ve also told everybody that we don’t want any visitors for at least a week after baby is born. This had nothing to do with COVID as we’ve had this planned for months, we both feel we will need the time to adjust to having a baby here before everyone comes over wanting to cuddle with baby for hours. This is where the pressure and unnecessary comments are starting.
My mum has down played her feeling about waiting a week, she keeps saying to me that I’ll most likely change my mind once the baby is here and that I’m just going to want to get the visiting out of the way. I understand I could totally change my mind when he’s here but I honestly doubt that I will, I just want that week for DP and I to bond with the baby as we have a lot of family to get through once visiting starts. While she’s not really being too pushy at the moment I know what she can be like and I can already feel I’m going to be guilted and guilted to let her come over before we’re ready. My MIL on the other hand has already started the guilting, and has guilted us for a good majority of this pregnancy. For example, we were keeping to ourselves over Christmas as cases of COVID were pretty bad in our area and I hadn’t had my booster at that point. She kicked up a huge fuss, had a major strop that we were spending Christmas as just the two of us and made my DP feel so bad that I had to tell her to calm down and enough with the stropping as it had gone on for the whole month of December. It was like dealing with a little kid. I’ve never met someone who puts on the victim act so much, telling other family members that she’s being completely left out of the pregnancy and that she’s never going to see the baby because we won’t let her see us. Just complete over reactions to everything. I know my partner has mentioned to her a few times about the week wait and all she’s had to say about it is that it’s unfair on her and she needs to bond with the baby otherwise the baby won’t know who she is 
On top of this, my DP has a sibling who he does not speak to. They haven’t spoken in about 3 years and want nothing to do with each other for good reason. Only thing is, this baby has been turned into an excuse to guilt my partner into making contact every time we see a member of his family. The situation around DP and his sibling was a major one and I personally don’t want the sibling around me or my baby, neither does DP. Only thing is, I’ve been able to slightly bite my tongue with everyone whilst pregnant when they bring this up, but if the arrival of my first born is going to be made into a demanded sibling reunion then I’m going to lose my head with them. I’ve had comments such as “Babies are the reason families come back together” and “The baby will bring the peace back between them”. As if we’re having this baby for the sole reason of fixing a relationship between two siblings who never really had one even before they went NC. It has irritated me this entire pregnancy as we can’t speak to a member of DPs family without them saying these things and I’ve had enough of our baby being used as an excuse to mention said sibling and try to guilt my DP into making up with them. Even his other sibling doesn’t speak to said sibling much and is the only person defending us and saying that the baby is not a therapist and isn’t going to patch up a relationship that has barely ever existed between DP and sibling.
There are other family members passing judgment on the week wait on my side but I’m mostly concerned about my mother and MIL as I don’t want to be bullied into anything when I’m most vulnerable. I’m quite a firm person but my emotions have been so up and down this last month of pregnancy that I’m scared they’re going to get to me and make me feel like a terrible person. I really don’t think asking for a week of space is asking for too much.