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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Childminder Notice

27 replies

Isaidno22 · 16/03/2022 06:37

My childminder has just given us a 4 week notice via email to say they are closing their business to explore new opportunities.
They have looked after our children for years and I’m shocked and really upset that they did this by email and did not speak to me about their intentions to close with more notice. They are like family!
I fully accept they can close the business but they have been a truly wonderful childminder. I feel deceived and I don’t know how to approach them to discuss it. AIBU to feel like this? On top of this, there are no other childcare settings with vacancies in the town we live in that service the primary school. I just need some advice on how to deal with this.
Thanks.

OP posts:

sweetbellyhigh · 16/03/2022 06:44

You email back and say, thank you for your email. Of course we are very sad to lose you as we trust you like family, we are so grateful for your loving care of our precious Joaquin and will always remember you with live.
We wish you the very best with your new adventures.

Then you cry/rant etc and once you're through that you set about finding a new childminder. Or another solution.

Ie. feel whatever you feel but don't make the mistake of projecting your disappointment. They probably couldn't mention it sooner for fear of word getting out before their plans were confirmed. I don't know, could be any number of reasons but it would be to no one's benefit, especially your child's, for you to berate them.

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 16/03/2022 06:48

^^ @sweetbellyhigh is bang on.

TonkaTruckduck · 16/03/2022 06:49

OP I feel for you, I'd be absolutely stuffed without my wonderful childminder.
However, it is in the back of mind that mine will probably do the same in a few years, most of the childminders I've known / heard about do stop childminding when it stops suiting their personal circumstances, so when their children are slightly older. I knew one childminder in her 50s, but she was the exception around here.
She probably sent an email to wrap up the formalities of closing a business and serving notice, but will no doubt speak to you in depth about it when you see her. Maybe she'll have some suggestions for you?
How old are your dc?

girlmom21 · 16/03/2022 06:51

@sweetbellyhigh

You email back and say, thank you for your email. Of course we are very sad to lose you as we trust you like family, we are so grateful for your loving care of our precious Joaquin and will always remember you with live. We wish you the very best with your new adventures.

Then you cry/rant etc and once you're through that you set about finding a new childminder. Or another solution.

100% this.

I don't understand why you feel 'deceived'. There's been no deception. Shes told you by email because her policy will be that she has to give written notice.

collieresponder88 · 16/03/2022 06:53

I think yabu to feel deceived yes. They have been brilliant and you have been lucky to have them It would have been nice for them to tell you in person but I'm sure they have their own reasons for sending the email maybe they are finding it difficult. When all is said and done they arnt your family and you arnt theirs. It was a business relationship and they are entitled to give you notice if they want to.

ThinWomansBrain · 16/03/2022 06:54

If she's "like family", maybe she emailed rather than spoke to you initially because as much as it's been a business fo her that she needs to move on from, she feels the conversation awkward?
Also, putting it in writing first means that it doesn't come up out of the blue in front of your children during a pickup or drop off.

MRex · 16/03/2022 06:55

They aren't really "like family", they are providing a service and have done a good job by the sound of things. @sweetbellyhigh's advice is good.

Try asking around at school, you might find other childminders.

olympicsrock · 16/03/2022 06:55

What sweetbellyhigh said. Spot on.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 16/03/2022 06:57

She is giving you written notice it’s normL.

Unfortunately it’s a business and although it’s good you had a good relationship they have decided for what ever reason to look for new opportunities outside of childcare.

Ask your child minder if she knows anyone with availability or contract the council and ask for a list of children minders within the area.

4 weeks notice is standard also.

lisaandalan · 16/03/2022 07:01

That is the professional way to do it I'm afraid and if she has emailed the others, then it's only fair to email you too. Four weeks is the standard practice for notice, but I do feel if she has known before this she should tell everyone before.

autienotnaughty · 16/03/2022 07:11

I use to be a childminder and policy to end a contract was four weeks written notice. A number of times parents would give less notice or exactly four weeks notice just because they didn't want to have the conversation. Equally if she had given you more notice than four weeks you might have moved on sooner leaving her struggling financially. but I think it would have been nice if she had told you in person and followed up with the notice. But it's done it is a business and she has followed procedure, I would just tell her you value her and will miss her and get her a nice leaving gift.

Chikapu · 16/03/2022 07:13

How exactly have they deceived you?

litlealligator · 16/03/2022 07:14

She's probably emailed to ensure all parents get told at exactly the same time so there's no confusion or rumour

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 16/03/2022 07:14

What sweet belly said

You feel “deceived??”

Get over yourself

ChiefPearlClutcher · 16/03/2022 07:15

Your reaction is exactly why she sent an email.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 16/03/2022 07:20

Nailed it in the first post.

lunar1 · 16/03/2022 07:44

She didn't deceive you, everyone is entitled to move on from their job.

LoopyDream · 16/03/2022 07:52

The email is because if she started telling people IRL then gossip will start happening and you’ll be upset that Karen heard before you. By emailing everyone is informed at the same time

londonrach · 16/03/2022 08:02

First post is perfect. Buy her a lovely leaving present. No idea why you feel deceived. She given you the correct notice

audweb · 16/03/2022 08:06

I was so sad when my childminder quit. But it’s her life and she had to make choices job wise for her and her family. We stayed in touch. I cried and moaned about losing her to my friends but just said the same as first post. They haven’t deceived you, and considering that’s your reaction I think that’s probably why they told you via email. Be nice to them, it is after all just a job for them.

Peasock · 16/03/2022 08:09

She probably wanted to follow the proper process for notice and an email allows all mindee families to read it at the same time rather than telling someone and rumours spreading. I'm sure it was a really hard decision and there were things to get into place before formally giving notice, it is upsetting but if its the right decision for her then she has to do what she has to do. As she's been a great childminder please don't make her feel bad, it's okay to say you've been really thankful for the time spent with your children and will be sad for the end of an era, but that you are excited for her. Making her feel bad won't make her change her mind, but might taint your relationship. I'd just have a cry if you need to and then talk about it.

Lindy2 · 16/03/2022 08:13

It was probably a hard email for her to send but it is 4 weeks written notice which is probably what contracts stipulate.

Telling you on the doorstep with your children around really wouldn't be a great way to break the news to you.

She's not family. Everyone is entitled to change jobs without being made to feel guilty.

Shmithecat2 · 16/03/2022 08:14

I feel deceived and I don’t know how to approach them to discuss it.

What is there to discuss? She's made a business decision. She's letting you know, not inviting debate. I can understand why you feel sad, but deceived? Don't be silly.

Pinkdelight3 · 16/03/2022 08:16

I second sending the nice reply, but also maybe ask her for recommendations of childcare alternatives just in case she knows someone that you don't.

Glenthebattleostrich · 16/03/2022 08:17

It is such a difficult decision because we do genuinely love the children. I have dithered for a while about closing my childminding business. I did speak to all the parents because we have a day when all families are in and I did it then and then followed up with an email but there were lots of snotty tears!

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