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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sending a nearly seven year old alone on a plane to Germany...

423 replies

emkana · 05/01/2008 16:51

... for a holiday with her grandmother, for five nights?

Dd1 keen to go and not scared. Have never done this before, but as I understand it airline will look after child?

MIL so upset at the thought that she can't even talk about it.

Have to go now, but will check back later.

OP posts:

Original poster

emkana · 05/01/2008 21:15

frogs

BA doesn't fly to Cologne anymore, otherwise I always used to go with them, prefer to Lufthansa really! But I do like the thought of taking dd1 to the gate

OP posts:

MAMAZON · 05/01/2008 21:21

i wouldn't feel comfortable but you know yoru Dd better than anyone else.
if the Airline are happy to have her and she is happy to go then i guess there's no problem

Reallytired · 05/01/2008 21:24

But why do you think the risk of a child flying to a foreign country is less than the risk of them walking to school? In my son's case its a familiar route and there are loads of people and not a single road to cross.

Can they speak German? What would happen if they got lost at a large foreign airport?

frogs · 05/01/2008 21:24

Do check about the gate, though, emkana -- can't quite see how they get past you needing to have a boarding pass.

Alternatively, some of the budget airlines fly to Cologne -- when dd1's cousin came for his return visit to us, it was actually cheaper for the child and his dad to fly over together, Dad went back and then came back again a week later to pick him up. Crazy but true. Presumably you know that budget airlines won't take unaccompanied minors, though.

frogs · 05/01/2008 21:27

Reallytired, they don't get lost, that's the point. The stewardess stays with them until the nominated relative picks them up in person and signs for them.

Presumably your dd speaks German and English both? I think that helps reduce the strangeness, though all the staff will speak both as well, since there will be children who only speak one or other language. Even with the Stockholm incident (see below) the lack of language was not a problem.

sazzybeehomeforxmas · 05/01/2008 21:27

They won't get lost. Lufthansa (or any of the big airlines) assign an member of staff to them at check in when you leave them and they won't be left alone for a second. They stand more chance of getting lost when you take them to Tesco tbh

AnnakeyRules · 05/01/2008 22:02

The same 'stewardess' won't look after a child for the whole journey, though.
Ground staff take them on board the aircraft, the cabin crew settle them in a seat, then they are on their own for the flight while the cabin crew do the service. If flight is quiet, crew may chat to an UM, if busy they'll get no special attention.
At the end of a flight, cabin crew hand UM over to ground staff again to deliver to whoever is picking them up.
Some kids love it, some don't

Alambil · 05/01/2008 22:11

My DS would love it I think - what an adventure!

How long is the flight? How close to 7 are they?

I would probably do it it - only you know what your DC can cope with... go for it if you think they will cope; the airline wouldn't have such a service if it was deemed totally unacceptable (or at least there would be a minimum age condition)

Go for it

emsiewill · 05/01/2008 22:24

I would let my dd's (11 and 8) do it, as long as they wanted to.

However, when I worked for Eurostar, I remember a couple of times people arriving with children, and not being able to understand why we weren't keen (understatement) to let them check in on their own. One scenario that sticks in my mind is the group of children aged approx 8, 6 and 3, who were being dropped off by their relatives to go back to Brussels.

At that time (may still be the same), Eurostar didn't offer an unaccompanied minor service, and we had many cases of adults getting on the wrong train / getting off at the wrong stop, so no way were we going to let some little kids take that risk - the adults went absolutely mad at us...

utterlyconfused · 05/01/2008 22:31

I'm astonished too at everyone's reaction. There are children who do this all the time for various reasons. The airlines wouldn't do it if it didn't work. If the child is happy to go, do it, if not, don't.

SugarSpiceandAllThingsNice · 05/01/2008 22:35

Bit different but I went on ferry to France at 9 yrs old on my own. I know I couldn't with my ds as things are different now and he's not even 5 yet so hard for me to comment. One thing I would worry about on top of usual worries would be the thought of them crying with pain at ears popping on a plane (ds did this year).

NKF · 05/01/2008 22:40

Really enjoying this thread. I have no idea what I would do except to say I'd rather it was with a big airline than one of the budget ones.

If the child feels up to it, it could be the adventure of a lifetime, something they never forget. There are families (forces people, diplomat's children) where this sort of thing happens all the time.

Makes me feel scared though but would that be a reason not to do it?

jajas · 05/01/2008 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyMuck · 05/01/2008 22:58

My dcs have been on planes at least every 3 months since birth. I asked ds1 (will be 7 in March) as to whether he'd like this and he look horrified. Pity, as I was just getting used to the idea of sending the dcs over by themselves therefore not having to see my MIL!

Only you know your dd. That said I would probably still be bricking it until I knew that they were safe on the other side.

mumeeee · 05/01/2008 23:02

I think seven is is to young to do this. Also some ailines won't alow under 12's to travel on thier own.

hatwoman · 05/01/2008 23:11

dh did this as a kid too. if dd wants to do it I would definitely do it. tons safer than an unaccompanied 9 year old on a ferry . I get nervous when dh takes dds out on deck - I have no idea what I think might happen nor why it's worse than a plane. but the sea looks very cold and very near.

ivykaty44 · 05/01/2008 23:32

What are you scared of going wrong? You can't always be there with your dc or within a small distance that you could get to them if something is wrong.

Perhaps due to different experiences with all do have a slant on this, some on here have gone to boarding school in another country and parents have been 6000/7000 miles away and a different time zone - this then has an effect on how we view this situation. A parent 6 or 7 thousand miles away in an emergancy could still get on a plane and fly over to be with their child.

In all my school days though this never happened to any of the boarders. They all trooped of each holidays and all trooped back again so i guess none of them got lost or anything bad happened to them. Some lived in the uk and got trains and buses but a vast majority lived overseas and it was longhaul.

TheFallenMadonna · 05/01/2008 23:38

I reckon my 6 yo DS would be fine to do this. And yes, he would behave much better if we weren't there...

iwantacoolchristmasnickname · 05/01/2008 23:46

what on earth is the fuss about?

she would fly as an unaccompanied minor.

She would be in the complete care of a member of airline staff from the moment she leaves your care to the moment she is met by the person named by you and who has to prove their identity as such.

Airlines fly unaccompanied minors all around the world. They don't leave them to find their way around the airport alone, for Pete's sake.

If your dd wants to do it whyever shouldn't she?

Of course you have to pay full fare for that service and no airline would accept a booking for a child without it anyway.

Phatmouse · 05/01/2008 23:53

I used to go back and forward from magaluf when I was 8 on my own. It was great fun and I was always made a fuss of. I must have done it at least 50 times, there was never an incident and I felt so grown up.

I hate flying now.

Oenophile · 05/01/2008 23:57

Mine travelled to Holland at the age of 7 with her gymnastics group for a week of training. She was fine and so will yours be, if you know she is the type to cope. A wonderful adventure for her!

kindersurprise · 06/01/2008 00:02

Do it.

I do think that there is a cultural thing about this, as you and Berlina said.

Plus, those of us living abroad are used to popping back and forward to UK to see family/friends. For a while I was on more planes back and forward to Scotland that I was on trams or buses in Germany.

Assuming that Emkana's DD is similar to my DD in that she is used to international travel, and having Granny in UK, then she will be as comfortable with the situation as a 7yo getting on the Ubahn in Prenzlauer Berg to visit Oma in Grünewald.

frisbyrat · 06/01/2008 11:34

My mother used to send me to visit my Oma in Germany sometimes on my own. I was a very shy child, but I loved the journey, and the responsibility of carrying my passport and ticket in a pouch round my neck; don't know what it's like 25 years later, but when I was 7 I got spoilt rotten by the air hostesses.

Then, of course, Oma let me wander round Koblenz on my own and I got bitten on the neck by a mental collie, but that wasn't really Lufthansa'a fault!

frisbyrat · 06/01/2008 11:36

Ooh, just looked at your profile pics. She's really cute!

Original poster

emkana · 06/01/2008 19:35

Thanks frisbyrat. That's my ds though. Maybe I should cut his hair after all...

OP posts:

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