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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sending a nearly seven year old alone on a plane to Germany...

423 replies

emkana · 05/01/2008 16:51

... for a holiday with her grandmother, for five nights?

Dd1 keen to go and not scared. Have never done this before, but as I understand it airline will look after child?

MIL so upset at the thought that she can't even talk about it.

Have to go now, but will check back later.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 05/01/2008 17:22

There was something about this on telly recently where the 'unaccompanied minor' program was tested. They sent the same child on several different direct flights with various airlines to see what would happen.

In some instances/on some airlines, all was fine. In other instances, the child was 'assigned' to an already busy airline employee who was supposed to 'keep an eye on' the child in the lounge and escort child on/off plane. At one point, the child needed the bathroom and couldn't get anyone's attention, so child set off to find bathroom on her own, and returned a few minutes later. The airline employee hadn't even realised the child was gone. There was also a scenario where ID of person collecting the child at final destination was not checked and the child was simply handed over without verification.

I think if flight is straightforward and all goes to plan, then everything could be OK with a sensible child. But, if problems arise and flight is not straightforward, alot could go wrong and an almost 7 year old couldn't cope.

SSSandy2 · 05/01/2008 17:22

I would have reasonable confidence in Lufthansa to take care of her.

In the days when you all travelled unaccompanied, it wasn't necessary to check in quite so early and wait around so long. Don't know if that makes any difference.

Dd is 7 emkana and I don't think she or I would feel comfortable with it so I wouldn't do it myself. However I have not yet been in a situation where she would need to travel and I could not accompany her.

I would try to think up possible scenarios of things going wrong and how to best prepare dd to cope.

geekgirl · 05/01/2008 17:23

I used to fly alone from age 4 onwards. Always loved it and was very well looked after.

I'd have no hesitations at all in your case! They are so extremely careful, constant checking of passport numbers, keeping children with the plane staff for journeys from plane to airport etc., I think it's a very low-risk thing to do.

Original poster
emkana · 05/01/2008 17:24

You take the child to the gate yourself, so no waiting alone in departure lounge

OP posts:
scatterbrain · 05/01/2008 17:25

Sounds fine to me - my dd is 7 and I'd let her do it no problem ! I just wish British Rail did the same so I could send her off to Devon unaccompanied to her gran's !!

geekgirl · 05/01/2008 17:26

they have special waiting facilities for unaccompanied children - playrooms with TV etc - the airport in Frankfurt also had a sweetie buffet

Beetrootoyourself · 05/01/2008 17:27

I agree Twig - I don't like the term 'first steps to independence'

Don't think this has to be seen as that though..just getting form a to B

You take them to the gate - blimey - easy peasy

noonar · 05/01/2008 17:28

i travelled as an unaccompanied minor myself, as a child.

i would be a bit nervous of sending a child younger than 9, tbh, unless they were super confident.but then, it is a v short flight.

emkana, i wonder if hose who've been critical understand how the unaccompanied minor sytem works. the airlines have done it before ya know!

QuintessentialShadow · 05/01/2008 17:28

My sisters dd has done this since she was five, and often been changing planes too. The parent accompanies the child all the way to the gate, and stay at the gate until they receive a call from the airline confirming the plane has actually taken off. The children are then taken by airline personell to agreed meeting point for child and family member to meet, and is only released once identification has been produced to show that this is indeed the agreed person to collect the child. The routines are strict, and the children well taken care off. It is common place in Norway, where divorce rate is high, cost of air travel astronomical, and standard visitation agreements are for children to see the other parent 6 times per year.

Emkana, do it, your dd will be fine!

mom2latinoboys · 05/01/2008 17:28

Put her on the plane.

scatterbrain · 05/01/2008 17:28

She'll feel SO grown up - I think it's good for them to learm a bit of independence really ! We wrap them in cotton wool these days - and Lufthansa look like they have it all sussed out ! I bet they keep a realy close eye on the unaccompanied children - can you imagine the uproar if they lost one !!! they just would not risk it !!!

Wisteria · 05/01/2008 17:30

first steps to independence only really comes when they start doing things 'unsupervised', like the first time I let my dd1 get on a bus with her friends and go into town - that was a scary day!

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 05/01/2008 17:30

i've known 4 year olds do it without a problem.

frogs · 05/01/2008 17:30

I don't think you do take them to the gate yourself, emkana -- we were always taken as far as departures by parents/relatives and by staff from then on, and that was still the deal when dd1 did it a few years ago.

You'd need a boarding card to go through departures and passport control. But they don't wait at the gate by themselves, the stewardess waits with them, and they get to board first which is always good fun.

Really, it's barely an hour's flight -- I wouldn't think twice, as long as the child liked the idea.

scatterbrain · 05/01/2008 17:32

She will FEEL independent though ! That's what I meant - independent and very grown up ! Yet in a safe environment !

evenhope · 05/01/2008 17:34

I put DD1 on a plane to Brussels at Heathrow when she was 8. She looked very very little when she walked off through the gate, but had a great time (had never flown before). My friend gathered her up at Brussels and signed for her.

It's not like a train or a bus where she could get off at the wrong stop or someone could abduct her.

Depends on the child though because I couldn't have done it for any of the DSs. I sent DS1 to Brussels (seeing a theme here?) by Eurostar when he was 12 and worried myself sick until he arrived

berolina · 05/01/2008 17:41

I would hate it, but I would know my 6/7yo (if I had one, and barring particular problems, SN or exceptional sensitiveness) would be fine and most probably love it. Go for it em

berolina · 05/01/2008 17:42

(Now these 6yos with their huge Ranzen I see on their own in the Berlin U-Bahn, that's a different matter )

kslatts · 05/01/2008 18:24

If the air hostess is responsible for the whole flight then I wouldn't have a problem with it. My dd1 who is now 8 would have happily done this at 6, but dd2 who is nearly 6 would not want to, so I guess it depends on your dd.

Quattrocento · 05/01/2008 18:27

The world has changed, hasn't it? I flew a 12 hour longhaul flight on my own at 6 years old. But I don't think I would let either of my DCs do that. The world's different now.

FluffyMummy123 · 05/01/2008 18:28

Message withdrawn

Beetrootoyourself · 05/01/2008 18:29

how??

Quattrocento · 05/01/2008 18:33

how has the world changed? Well airports are ridiculously busy places nowadays with many many more passengers and very complicated to navigate. Children are less independent than they were (mine are less independent than me) they don't walk to school. they have many more structured activities blah blah, which in turn makes them less not more responsible etc

scatterbrain · 05/01/2008 18:34

Not convinced world is really that different tbh. More News availability means we all know about a lot more stuff that we wouldn't have back then. But there were plenty of murders, paedophiles etc back then - we just didn't KNOW !

Yes there are nore drugs around and more people drink - but these aren't really issue sin this context are they ?

scanner · 05/01/2008 18:39

My db and I did this all the time when we were children I was about 7 when we started, which would make him only 3. We have German family and often flew with Lufthansa. Never had any problems, in fact by the time I was 12 I begged to be allowed to travel alone and I was so familiar with the procedure and I didn't want to be an unaccompanied minor any more.

Great thing for the dc's to do.